+ Reply to Thread
Page 10 of 14 FirstFirst ... 89101112 ... LastLast
Results 91 to 100 of 136
  1. #91
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    somewhere between a rock and a hard place
    Posts
    1,215
    Thanks
    127
    Thanked
    335
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I haven't read the entire thread, but wanted to share my personal story.

    For DS, every day I breastfed was too long for him, so for him, it would have been better for me not to breastfeed him at all. And i wont be putting my bellybub to the breast even a single time. So, there is no too young age for my children.

    Now before I get judged, and frowned upon, let me tell you, I was given the all clear to breastfeed while taking lifesaving medication. ALL the studies said it was ok, ALL the health professionals said it was ok and encouraged it. Well it wasn't and it made my DS very very sick, and we still don't know if there have been any long term complications. After my sons reaction, the guidelines for the use of this medication in BFing have been changed. So, I really dont think we can say there is any 'too young' age. Every feeding relationship is unique and altered by any number of factors.

  2. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to swizzlestick For This Useful Post:

    beebs  (15-05-2012),starla  (15-05-2012)

  3. #92
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Posts
    428
    Thanks
    72
    Thanked
    132
    Reviews
    0
    This thread appears to have turned into some kind of attack on people who have been able to breastfeed against those who have tried but it didn't work out.

    Someone asked how the heck would I know that 2 years is the best age? All I did (several years ago) was research breastfeeding - any number of websites states this fact (as confirmed by WHO). As far as my comment about breastfeeding problems being temporary, I did say most, not all - so how is that my fault that this is simply the way it is? The fact is that MOST women, in ideal circumstances, are able to successfully breastfeed? How is this offensive or somehow insulting?

    My first comment I made on this thread was without reading any of those prior, so I was simply answering the question. I did not realise that some who had posted before were speaking of their struggles, so maybe my comment hurt, because they had had such a tough time - not all of us always read through the entire thread before commenting, so it was not my intention to try and hurt anyone's feelings.

    Also, I have already mentioned quite a few times that I am not trying to be superior or smug in any way - my last baby I very nearly gave up trying to breastfeed, as she was still at her birth weight at 5 weeks of age. I had a very stressful time then, and I don't see how my struggle is any less valid or traumatic than anyone elses...? Geez, I was feeling very very low at that time - thankfully, with a HUGE HUGE amount of effort on mine and my 4 other children, and my husband's part, we pulled through and she did breastfeed happily until almost 2. So why is that wrong? Shouldn't this be a celebration...or are we only here to support those for whom it didn't work out?

    So to the poster who said I obviously know nothing about this, you are dead wrong. With that comment, you are being just as insulting as you have accused me of being. I have breastfed for a total of almost 9 years of my life - so I feel somewhat qualified to at least comment with experience - that's 5 children. Please don't accuse me of boasting or being smug - why is being honest misconstrued as being smug or opinionated?

    EDITED TO ADD: 9 YEARS of breastfeeding - this was not all without mishap or difficulty, not by a long stretch!! I doubt anyone has absolutely no issues with breastfeeding incuding for me, mastitis several times - my last baby was by far the most difficult, but to suggest that I am not qualified to speak because I had it easy (with the others), is not correct.

    So "women like me" are obviously in the minority. Sorry about that, and I truly do wish all of you the very best on your breastfeeding journeys now or in the future....I cherished that time very very much.
    Last edited by Clarabelle; 17-05-2012 at 09:48. Reason: Clarifying a point

  4. #93
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    5,276
    Thanks
    3,697
    Thanked
    3,090
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Clarabelle - I think the part you said that got people's backs up was this:

    "my personality is that I cannot and will not accept defeat. It was not going to beat me, and in the end it all worked out because it was really IMPORTANT to me to continue breastfeeding.

    And:

    it is my belief that if a mother wants to breastfeed, she will. It doesn't make her a failure if she doesn't - but I just think that if she is determined to breastfeed her baby, she will make it happen."

    There is no attack on anyone. People are just upset at what you said (what I have quoted).

    What have you said (above) is directly implying that those who "gave up" did so because their personalities were not as tenacious as yours, and that perhaps BF wasn't important to them.

    This upsets people because many people do not agree that personality played a part in the reason why they stopped BF, and that BF was very important to them.

    You have directly stated that if someone wants to BF then they will.

    This means that you are not allowing for any number of reasons as to why someone may stop BF. To you, as you have stated above, it all boils down to whether or not they were determined.

    Can you not see why this might upset anyone?

  5. The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Guest654 For This Useful Post:

    beebs  (15-05-2012),Gandalf  (15-05-2012),GrabbyCrabby  (15-05-2012),lambjam  (15-05-2012),Lincolns mummy  (15-05-2012),ShanandBoc  (15-05-2012),trishalishous  (15-05-2012)

  6. #94
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    19,776
    Thanks
    5,212
    Thanked
    7,063
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 posts
    I'm pretty stubborn when it comes to bfing, I fed through bleeding nipples, mastitis, you name it. If I expressed the milk was pink there was so much blood.

    BUT I have never walked in the shoes of another mother. And I would never claim that my situation was the same as another's, because it isn't.

    I have no idea how other mothers felt during their struggles, all I can do is empathise with them that they did their best.

  7. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Benji For This Useful Post:

    GrabbyCrabby  (15-05-2012),Guest654  (15-05-2012),ShanandBoc  (15-05-2012),trishalishous  (15-05-2012)

  8. #95
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    10,012
    Thanks
    14,124
    Thanked
    7,612
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    No, no Clarabelle - you can twist this and cry poor all you like, but you said - and I quote "If a woman wants to breastfeed, she will". Your 9 years of breastfeeding does not make you qualified to make that comment, as you can breastfeed. Do you see where I am going with this??

  9. #96
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Posts
    428
    Thanks
    72
    Thanked
    132
    Reviews
    0
    Girl X,

    Okay, but how is this so vastly different to similar comments from other posters? No, it really does feel like an attack to me. Certainly, not your last post, no, but it seems a few people decided to take issue with what I said and everyone else jumped on for the ride, without really reading what I had said.

    I do acknowledge (as I said in the last post) that I have obviously hurt people's feelings but I did not read the previous comments and if I had I would not have been so blunt or insensitive. For that, I am sorry.

    Of course, there are extreme situations (which have been talked about here) as to why people have been unable to continue breastfeeding, but these are not, for the most part, the experiences of most people. That I do believe, absolutely.

    I think it has touched a very raw nerve amongst those for whom it has been such a difficult experience. Of course, I understand that - but it is very unfair to blame me for commenting on a thread where people who have had these experiences have also commented. If there were many more, like me, for whom it turned out for the better, I would not have been attacked.

    I do think I have a very tenacious personality and it absolutely played a huge part in why I was able to keep breastfeeding. Sorry if that upsets anyone.

  10. #97
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Posts
    428
    Thanks
    72
    Thanked
    132
    Reviews
    0
    Benji, okay so you feel empathy for people who did their best. Well SO DO I? Okay. I do not need to explain this any more.

  11. #98
    lambjam's Avatar
    lambjam is offline Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Canberra
    Posts
    7,177
    Thanks
    2,062
    Thanked
    4,956
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Girl X View Post
    Clarabelle - I think the part you said that got people's backs up was this:

    "my personality is that I cannot and will not accept defeat. It was not going to beat me, and in the end it all worked out because it was really IMPORTANT to me to continue breastfeeding.
    Put this into another context... imagine two people with cancer, both battle it out, and one passes away. Then the other says the words quoted above, let's replace "breastfeeding" with "living". To put these words into the context of breastfeeding makes just as little sense to me.

    Your words imply that that there was choice involved in other people's "defeat". In many cases there isn't a choice, or at best it's a choice akin to "would you like to be eaten by tigers or eaten by lions?".

    Your words also imply that if breastfeeding does not work out in the end for someone, then they did not really consider breastfeeding important.

    But what it really boils down to is that your words imply that all situations are comparable; that because you've breastfeed five children you have insight into another woman's experience, and have the right to judge her outcomes against your own. You don't.
    Last edited by lambjam; 15-05-2012 at 13:52.

  12. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to lambjam For This Useful Post:

    beebs  (15-05-2012),Gandalf  (15-05-2012),Lincolns mummy  (15-05-2012),trishalishous  (15-05-2012)

  13. #99
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    5,276
    Thanks
    3,697
    Thanked
    3,090
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Clarabelle View Post
    Girl X,

    Okay, but how is this so vastly different to similar comments from other posters? No, it really does feel like an attack to me. Certainly, not your last post, no, but it seems a few people decided to take issue with what I said and everyone else jumped on for the ride, without really reading what I had said.

    I do acknowledge (as I said in the last post) that I have obviously hurt people's feelings but I did not read the previous comments and if I had I would not have been so blunt or insensitive. For that, I am sorry.

    Of course, there are extreme situations (which have been talked about here) as to why people have been unable to continue breastfeeding, but these are not, for the most part, the experiences of most people. That I do believe, absolutely.

    I think it has touched a very raw nerve amongst those for whom it has been such a difficult experience. Of course, I understand that - but it is very unfair to blame me for commenting on a thread where people who have had these experiences have also commented. If there were many more, like me, for whom it turned out for the better, I would not have been attacked.

    I do think I have a very tenacious personality and it absolutely played a huge part in why I was able to keep breastfeeding. Sorry if that upsets anyone.
    I think it's great that you succeeded, and to have done so when it was so difficult indicates that you probably are very tenacious.

    I also agree that some women do stop feeding where you might have continued because BF is not as important to them as it is to you. And that some women might have thrown in the towel where others didn't, due to less resilient or tenacious personalities.

    But to state that you believe that if a woman wants to BF then she will... Well that's a pretty big call to make, and a pretty unqualified statement.

    It sounds as if you may think there are exceptions to that, but that's not how you first put it across. It wasn't that you were blamed for commenting - more just that one or two of your comments were a little sweeping and a little insensitive.

    But if that's not what you meant to say, or how you meant it to come across, then let's leave it there. It is a sensitive topic, and meaning/ intent can sometimes get misunderstood via the written word.

  14. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Guest654 For This Useful Post:

    Clarabelle  (15-05-2012),lambjam  (15-05-2012)

  15. #100
    Savingfishfromdrowning's Avatar
    Savingfishfromdrowning is offline If you can't change your fate, change your attitude
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    the couch
    Posts
    1,354
    Thanks
    345
    Thanked
    284
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    There's something I don't understand in all this:

    If a woman says she can't have children, she will get support, sympathy, understanding. But if a woman says she can't breastfeed all she gets is doubt and scepticism.

    Really? Really? You really *can't* breastfeed? Did you try this? Did you try this? Did you talk to this person, that person? You did? Maybe you didn't try hard enough? Maybe the people you spoke to were no good, next time speak to better people and try harder and you will do it!

    Seriously. If a woman says she can't breastfed then maybe she just CAN'T breastfeed. And she has tried hard enough and does know what she is talking about.

    If someone starts to breastfeed and it is hard and she stops because she couldn't go on, then maybe she stopped because she COULDN'T go on, not because she is uneducated or not determined enough.

    It's her body, I think she would know better than you? Why does she have to justify the outcome of her breastfeeding journey to ANYONE?

  16. The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to Savingfishfromdrowning For This Useful Post:

    beebs  (15-05-2012),delirium  (15-05-2012),Guest654  (15-05-2012),Lincolns mummy  (15-05-2012),NancyBlackett  (15-05-2012),ShanandBoc  (15-05-2012),swizzlestick  (15-05-2012),trishalishous  (15-05-2012)


 

Similar Threads

  1. New young mum.
    By tlakat in forum Pregnancy & Birth General Chat
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 12-07-2012, 17:06

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Tambo Teddies
Visit our online store and select your individually handmade natural sheepskin teddy bear. Our soft and loveable bears come in a range of styles and colours. Created in Outback Queensland each bear is unique individual. 100% Australian made!
sales & new stuffsee all
Wendys Music School Melbourne
Wondering about Music Lessons? FREE 30 minute ASSESSMENT. Find out if your child is ready! Piano from age 3 years & Guitar, Singing, Drums, Violin from age 5. Lessons available for all ages. 35+ years experience. Structured program.
Use referral 'bubhub' when booking
featured supporter
The Fix Program Sydney CBD and Broadway
Pregnancy and women's health physio, pregnancy and new mum Pilates classes taught by our physios for you and bub. Pregnancy back and pelvic pain. Also, we treat postnatal and women of all ages. Incontinence, prolapse, sexual and pelvic pain.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!