Whining 2 year old - at the end of my tether!

[mumkc]

I have a almost 2 year old DD who whines, grunts and cries incessantly. When she doesn't get her own way, when I say no, when she wants something, the list goes on. It doesn't matter if she is tired, teething, sick or none of the above - it is endless. She has enough vocabulary to say what she wants, and I tell her not to whine but to tell me and then I can help her (this is my usual course of action, but it does not seem to stop her initially whining and grunting). And I act on it as soon as she does speak nicely. I praise her and pay her lots of attention when she is behaving well. When she starts I have tried diversion - it works sometimes. I have tried ignoring her - she ramps it up. In frustration on occasion I yell at her - that sends her into meltdown.

Please, I need advice on how to stop this incessant, grating behaviour. It has been about 2 months and I can see myself losing it if I do not find a cure.

Thanks for your answers!

[Janesmum123]

My DS is almost 2 and I know what you mean. My DD was worse then my DS at this age.
I don't ignore because it makes it worse they just cry louder. (for my kids)
I try to distract as much as I can. E.g if DS wants ice cream and I have already said no I will pick him up and say "wow quickly let's find your cars quickly now where are they, have they run away" or something silly like that in a very very excited voice. I pretty much say anything as long as I sound ridiculously excited.
It usual works.
If he is having a tantrum I try to hug him and talk to him calmly (and yes he does sometimes push me away) but I say something like "Ohhh baby what's wrong you upset yes, don't be upset mummy will cuddle you" and then go shhhh it's ok". Something along those lines.
The reason I do this is so it doesn't get any worse. I think the more you ignore it and leave them the harder they learn to scream.
I give him the attention but not the thing he wants if that makes sense.
But every child is different and they respond differently.
Not everything I do works all the time and sometimes I want to rip my hair out but at least I can get it to a point that I can control it to some degree.
When out in public try to have things in your bag to occupy her like mini pencils, a toy, sultanas, lollipop, drink etc.

Anyway Hugs They do grow out of it but it's is hard I know. You just have to keep going. Once you say no then it's no never give in otherwise next time it will be worse. Really kids just want huge amounts of attention which I always try to give. Also at this age they have vey little control over their emotions so it's important to try and understand that.

[Misschief]

I have started the 1, 2,3 Magic routine when DS was 18 months old and now at 2,5 it works great. It was developed by Dr. Thomas Phelan in the US. Check it out:

http://www.parentmagic.com/

I have the DVD here and am happy to send you a copy if you PM me your address? I have showed the DVD to quite a few friends and they are all having a good response with their kids.

[roz2288]

Misschief I'm going to pm you my address would love a copy

[Misschief]

Yep I got the PM. Will send it off this week

[ShanandBoc]

Any chance of getting a copy too? My DD has just started this behavior too at 18 months. Im happy to cover any costs

Sent from my GT-I9100T using BubHub

[Misschief]

mumkc, I sent you the DVD a few weeks ago and have sent you a PM to ask if you received it and I have not heard from you anymore. Can you please let me know if you received it???