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  1. #31
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    Ngaiz, did you happen to mention the side effects to your FS? Just I'm wondering if I should

  2. #32
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    No I didn't bother. I work in pharmacy so I knew they were all normal. If you're feeling exceptionally unwell definately get in touch with them. OHSS is possible on Clomid.

  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by stolz View Post
    Saw a girl this morning on Facebook going on about how she has to go and buy 'fat clothes' today because her belly has popped so much that none of her clothes fit anymore. Has put me in such a downer of a mood
    @stolz I know exactly what you mean. I'm loving unfollowing all UTD and babied-people on FB at the moment. I just don't need to hear how loved up they are.

    Plus, at the moment I'm now on Bubhub more than FB - its actually a real joy to log on and read about/connect with people in the same place as me.

    Through my TTC journey so far that's actually something that I've felt is missing - just a place online to vent and say 'I can't believe its BFN again, WTF' or 'If I see one more stupid multivitamin, I'll throw it at you' but of course TTC and fertility woes are all on the down-low so I've just had to keep it to myself.

    Bubhub is a real relief. I especially like reading some of the journals, especially the ones with a happy ending against all odds, gives me hope.

    I try and remember too that (like the rest of us) they are only posting the good stuff on FB and probably it's not all tea and roses for them in real life.

  4. #34
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    It's definitely nice to come somewhere and read and write about all this. We too are keeping very low key on our issues, and find ourselves constantly biting our tongues when people harass us about when we are going to get pregnant.

    My FS appt got brought forward to the 17th July from the 21st. Only a few days but a few days less to wait none the less 😊
    Took the clomid at night last night and I think that may be the way to do it. Woke up a few times feeling seedy and this morning a little off but not as bad as I do when I take it of a morning. Only 1 day left of it, then hope like hell we can pull off a BFP this month

  5. #35
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    Hi ladies, Sorry if I am gatecrashing this thread but I'm struggling a bit today as my brother just told me his wife is 12 weeks pregnant & I just needed somewhere supportive to admit that I'm happy but devestated too. It will be the first grandchild in the family so all my relatives are super excited & it will be all that is talked about now.... DP & I decided last month to stop TTC for good after many years & many losses, I'm getting too old & my health has really suffered. It seems that it was just not meant to be for us & we are trying to come to terms with the fact we are childless & will remain so - obviously it is quite difficult. I'm very happy for my brother but finding it so hard to talk about ultrasounds & due dates because for me ultrasounds only brought bad news & my due dates are just reminders of my losses. My DP says I should remember that this is not about us, it's about my brother & his wife & I know he's right. Does anyone have any tips on how to distance yourself? I'm worried that I am going to cry every time I talk about it & don't want to take away any of the joy that my family are experiencing. Does it get easier with time? I don't know if there are any answers really but I just needed somewhere to get this all out. I think I'll be fine once the baby is born but that's quite a few months away!!!

  6. #36
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    @maybebaby77 just read your post, it's heartbreaking. I've not got any advice for you but just wanted to send you hugs.

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  8. #37
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    I found it does get easier once they actually have the baby, cause then it's clearly 'theirs'. I'm really sorry to hear you've reached the end of your road... Are you going to look into any other options?

    Does your brother and the rest of your family know what you've gone through? If not I'd send an email or have your DH say something like 'we're thrilled for you so please understand that if it seems otherwise it's just because we desperately wanted the same good fortune. Looking forward to spoiling a niece or nephew.'

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  10. #38
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    Maybebaby so many big hugs your way. Its really so hard x

    You could maybe talk (or even send them a letter if talking is to much) to your bro and SIL and let them know that you are very excited and happy for them but that pregnancy stirs up alot of emotions for you that you are still working on. Maybe let them know that you dont want them to avoid talking to you about it as you want to be involved with your niece/nephew but that if you need to remove yourself from some conversations to not take it personally.

    Honestly I dont think that there is an easy answer to dealing with group conversations. I found that some degree of self protection was needed. I would remove myself from conversations by finding an activity (even washing dishes lol), going to the loo etc. When feeling strong on a day I would contact my friend/SIL and ask how they were going and share the excitement. On a bad day I would avoid having a conversation.

    Be kind to yourself hun x

    Sent from my GT-I9507 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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  12. #39
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    ScubaGal, BettyW & dancingbutterfly - thanks so much for your replies!!! It has really helped, esp as my DP & I had a bit of a fight over it all, he reckons I really need to move on & stop being like this every time someone we know gets pregnant - there's been a few announcements in the last month - he says he's moved on but I'm choosing not to & can't be happy so i'm dragging him down & reminding him of it all again. Made me feel v guilty.

    BettyW - I agree from experience it really is easier once the baby arrives. I don't think we'll be looking at any other options - FS has said given my history he has grave doubts that I'll ever have a healthy outcome ie. me making it through a pregnancy without serious dramas & coming out the other side with a healthy baby, DP does not want to adopt & I don't what else we could practically do (or afford!). My brother does know everything but even so I may use your email idea just to explain because I've never said to him that it's difficult to cope with other people's pregnancies.

    dancingbutterfly - thanks for sharing your experiences. I really think the strategy of removing myself from conversations by doing something else would help & also it's a really good idea to choose the days when you're feeling strongest to talk about it or see them & then give yourself a bit of a break if you're having a bad day. I hadn't thought of that. x

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    dancingbutterfly  (27-07-2014),ScubaGal  (22-08-2014)

  14. #40
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    Hi Maybebaby77,
    I'm sorry to hear you've reached the end of your TTC journey. Just reading these forums brings it all rushing back to me.
    I had two very close friends fall pregnant while I was going through IVF. I was having negative result after negative, and hearing them say things like 'we weren't even really trying' or 'did you know you can buy kits to predict when you're ovulating' (we were a bit past that!!). I never told a single person we were going through treatment other than my DH, but I think most people understood we had been trying for years without success.
    When my closest friend told me she was pregnant, I pretty much stormed out of the room. I cried for days and started seeing a psychologist. She assured me that self-protection was key, limiting my dealings with my friend was the only way I could cope at the time. I didn't go to her baby shower, no lunches, never visited her after the birth. And I always just hoped she would understand and forgive me eventually. (She has)
    So my advice is to protect yourself as much as you need by keeping away whenever you feel like it. If your brother knows what you've been going through then so does his wife, and I think she will understand. Your partner has no right to say you're overreacting - no man will ever ever understand what we go through on our TTC journeys. My DH was smart enough not to try to understand and never judged me for my emotions. I'm sure he was wondering what on earth was going through my mind, but he just let me have my moments (many of them!!!)
    Big hugs to you, I hope that it is a quick 6 months for you and hopefully you are able to enjoy being an aunty, because honestly it's just the best...


 

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