Coping with friends and family pregnancies

**dancingbutterfly** · 12-05-2012 16:19

Well seems to be the season for pregnancies.... I have had 11 friends and families announce their pregnancies in the last 2 months....
Although I am very happy for them I am more and more devastated for us with each one

Just wondering if anyone has tips for coping?

I really want to be supportive.... I am usually the one to go shopping with them for baby stuff, plan showers etc.... But at the moment its just really hard. I feel like a horrible person but know that you cant be so hard on yourself.....

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**ABigDeepBreath** · 13-05-2012 08:02

It's so hard to be surrounded by baby bumps when you want one of your own. I try to really focus on being excited for them, helping them etc, and when the sad or envious thoughts come, I acknowledge the thoughts, but try not to indulge them. I also try not to avoid my pregnant/mummy friends (as much as I want to at times), as I know this only makes it harder in the long run.

I hope you find a way to cope that works for you! Take care.

**Mallie** · 13-05-2012 15:53

I'm finding this hard too atm. I have had a lot of friends announce their pregnancies recently on fb. I have started hiding their post about it to help me cope. I haven't had the chance to see any of the in real life at the moment and honestly don't know how I would cope if I did.

Once we start trying again I think it may be easier for me. Good luck hun x

**babyblue75** · 07-07-2012 17:05

HI there, This is my first post on a conception/pregnancy forum so am not sure if I am doing this right. I just wanted to say that I totally understand how you are feeling. I have been TTC for 14 months and have had 1 miscarriage before now being diagnosed with Endo. I am booked in for a lap in two weeks. I am surrounded by pregnant people and usually I find it easy to be happy for people... since I started trying to conceive I have become a great-aunty three times abd countless friends have fallen pregnant and had babies, all falling very quickly if not the first time they had sex with the intention of getting pregnant. My week started with my niece telling me that she is pregnant (she is 15 years my junior) and now ended with my sister-in-law telling that she is pregnant (10 years younger)... I am afraid I lost the plot today and was overpowered by self pity and anger rather than the happiness I try and give to the 'fertiles' naturally. I feel bad that I banged on at my husband for so long and sobbed so hard and screamed and turned into a crazy person, but I think my threshold was reached... I have been trying so hard to stay calm and not indulge in my sadness that I just exploded. I always had a feeling that it would take me a bit of time to get pregnant but I don't think you can understand what Long Term TTC feels like until you are in it - surrounded by babies that are not your own. I would like to wish you all the very best of luck and may the baby gods send us all healthy and happy babies when the time is right - until then let's just take one day at a time and be kind to ourselves.

**ABigDeepBreath** · 07-07-2012 20:14

Originally Posted by babyblue75

let's just take one day at a time and be kind to ourselves.

I think this sums it up beautifully.

**Elestrial** · 31-08-2012 22:36

I think the worst part is that feeling of being completely surrounded... Babies, babies everywhere and not-a one for me!
I dealt with it fairly well in the early time of ttc, but as the years go by I am becoming less loving, less generous and less willing to spend time and money on celebrating other people's happiness. I know it's horrible, but I sometimes feel like I am drowning in all the baby love around me.
There are a couple of ways I am trying to cope.
The first is making something for the impending arrival. I can't walk through the baby section of the supermarket anymore, but I can make something nice and special at home that still says I love them and am excited for them.
I am also trying to be honest with the expectant mummies. I have just said I am so so happy for you, but my jealousy is eating me up, then I can laugh and get on with hearing about the pregnancy and the bubbly and the kicking and the horrible heartburn, and even though a little part of me is crying because I've said I'm jealous it makes it easier to stay calm and happy.

**Wishanddream26** · 05-09-2012 20:16

Hi i totally understand where you are coming from.my husband and i hav been ttc for about 12 months now and i have pcos and my husband has issues too.i just hav a good cry and hav a cuddle with the hubby.his smile and his support is what really helps me get through every month of disappointment.

**Net3811** · 06-09-2012 13:26

It's nice to see some others be honest about their not so nice feelings. I can't stand being around baby talk or pregnant women right now. I felt guilty about it for a while but now realise it's probably a self protective mechanism. It IS going to be hard to see my former assistant pregnant because she saw me struggling to get that way and realised her and her hubby probably shouldn't wait any more. I've seen some women go on maternity leave twice in the time I've been struggling along. It sucks quite a bit.

**Misiu** · 06-09-2012 14:03

Yes I feel this way too, it's sucks sometimes!! Last night I came home after seeing another friend with her bump and was upset at myself for being upset haha the irony! Shes not only pregnant but is also one of those beautiful pregnant women, skinny and all tummy! As much as I feel like a fool saying it, I talk about it with DH, have a bit of tear up and then put it out of mind, saying that my time will come too! As will yours :-D

**Kelly8329** · 06-09-2012 14:16

I'm feeling like there is an epidemic going on right now! 8 friends all pregnant and telling me all mostly last month and my bub was due last weekend. It started to feel like a kick in the guts, but I got through it and am coating down the months before we start TTC again.
Hugs for you