when you don't see eye to eye... vent/advice

**Huni&Coco** · 12-05-2012 15:31

Right now my df and i are not seeing eye to eye...
there are a few things...
i don't want to go into detail. and im sorry there will be no juicy details im just to hurt. but every talk ends in an argument, nasty things said and me in tears...
I know i can't fix it or make us see eye to eye about everything... but at least us understanding each other or accepting each others view... ya know?
im so hurt and lost.
any advice would be nice...

**mummanna** · 12-05-2012 15:39

Is there any way to find a middle ground you give I. Something and so does he?
If talking always ends in fighting is there maybe a deeper issue that one or both of you don't want to bring up?

Hugs I'm sorry this is happening I hope you can fix it

**Gothel** · 12-05-2012 15:55

i don't have any advice sorry but i wanted to send these

**Amiedoll** · 13-05-2012 11:05

Sorry you're going through such a hard time

My hubby isn't much of a talker, if I want to change his mind on something I usually take the slow and steady approach. I tell him why I want whatever, or what changes are important to me, and then let it drop for a while (always in calm tones, any emotional outburst on my part makes him angry and he withdraws from the conversation). I find if I give him space he can make up his own mind and we can compromise from there.

I don't know if this is helpful (since I don't know your situation) but sometimes men do get upset, angry, and hurtful when they feel trapped on an issue or they need a bit of space to figure things out. Unless the issue is immediate and putting someone at risk can you drop it for a while and leave him to do his own thing. Let him come to you when he is ready, and be ready to talk about things calmly. I know it sounds like I'm saying you are over emotional, sorry

I don't mean to, I am a pretty emotional person and I cry at the drop of a hat. I used to be very hurt by hubbies behaviour and hated that sense that he was drawing away. I decided to just go with it one day and ignored him back for a while, and it really did help.

**Huni&Coco** · 13-05-2012 11:52

Amiedoll are you my twin???? lol are we married to similar guys?
i am so sensitive etc.
thanks for your advice!
definitely taking that onboard

**~Temet Nosce~** · 13-05-2012 11:52

Communication is important, and compromise. If all else fails, agree to disagree and move on from it.

**Huni&Coco** · 13-05-2012 14:15

well said

**Amiedoll** · 13-05-2012 23:50

I shudder to think there is another Hubby like mine out there

I'm glad you're feeling a bit better

, sometimes a cooling off period is good for everyone, especially us sensitive types

**Guest1234** · 13-05-2012 23:58

There are a few things DF and I don't see eye to eye on, like a few aspects of parenting. Thankfully for the most part he acknowledges that I do the majority of the parenting so he leaves me to do it my way and it works for us.
It's really about communication, understanding and compromise.