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  1. #11
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    I'm another that finds it hard to comprehend how a person (usually the woman) can partner a man she knows has no contact with his flesh and blood... and I'm not talking about a guy that never knew the child existed, or that she literally ran and he has been to court for years but she can't find her. I'm talking about a man that just doesn't want contact.

    I often wonder if it crosses their mind (particularly if the child was born from a long term relationship like sassy and benji) that if their relationship fails, will he do this to me too? sadly some new wives seem to fuel and encourage deadbeat behaviour (note I said some not all). I suspect maybe out of jealousy another woman gave him kids first? a territorial thing? I don't know. But I admit I understand the wife encouraging the behaviour less than why the men aren't involved.

    If I met a guy that had no contact with his child *by choice*, I would be running like no tomorrow....

  2. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to delirium For This Useful Post:

    Benji  (11-05-2012),LotusMum  (11-05-2012),SassyMummy  (12-05-2012),twotrunks  (10-05-2012)

  3. #12
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    Yes, he does.
    Ive never met the child and I hope my kids never want to.

  4. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by zombiekitty View Post
    Yes, he does.
    Ive never met the child and I hope my kids never want to.
    I would love to hear why, zk, not to criticize just to understand?

  5. #14
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    Oh and apologies to all, I just realized this could look like i am on a stalking mission to find bio-dad and I am really
    Not at all.

  6. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by twotrunks View Post
    I would love to hear why, zk, not to criticize just to understand?
    He has his own family and we have ours. He's not part of our family and DH feels nothing for him.

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  8. #16
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    Yep my DH does, it was a casual relationship (sort of a affair actually), and she got preg. DH was quite young and said he wasn't ready. She had baby. He has had contact and then she asked him to sign adoption forms for her new DH to be father. Had a bit of contact after then she went off the radar. Tracked her again after we had DS1 together but she didn't really want to meet up (also said DH not around anymore, which leaves the child fatherless again ..). Had contact a few yrs ago after finding out about a hereditary problem in the family, still didn't really want much to do with us.

    So how do I feel? I will be really upset if this young man rocks up ****ed off cause he didn't know his father. I love that my 2 boys get their dad but i feel sorry that this other child does not. But that is the circumstances and I respect that. If she rang up tomorrow and said lets catch up I would be cool with that too. But what is, is, for now!

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  10. #17
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    Fob doesn't see child but he once told me that he saw a woman he was briefly involved with with a baby in a pram that looked like him,I don't know how I feel about that.

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  12. #18
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    I think I could be with someone who had a child from a previous relationship/one night stand if they didn't have anything to do with them as long as they were paying child support and as long as it was a baby he didn't want from the start. As far as I'm concerned it's the same as a woman chosing to have an abortion.

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  14. #19
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    Nope but DH has a half brother who he has met twice. ILs have 4 grandchildren that they have nothing to do with. It's sad but that's the way it is.

  15. #20
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    wow its amazing to hear the different ideas. I think as a mum it is incomprehensible that someone could be biologically connected to my amazing child and not want to know them...what if we weren't looking after them well? what if they were sick? but at the same time i guess its just like a sperm donor. For us though, both dh and i feel we could never be sperm/egg donors as we couldn't stand someone else raising what would feel like "our" kids.


 

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