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  1. #21
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    Sorry to sound harsh, but he is manipulating you and just dragging you along, giving you hope. He can see you are still so in love with him, but I don't believe he cares about the relationship. Sorry!

    Does he still live with you? Do you still have sex with him?

    If so, both have to stop and you need to tell him that he is only allowed to come around on certain days as you are trying to move on with your life. He has made the decision to find someone else, and you need to accept that and seek some counseling.

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  3. #22
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    hi, I think a realtionship has to be important to both people for it have any chance of working. He is not working on his relationship with you and your family, he is messing around with some other girl!! Whether he has met her or slept with her, doesnt matter, the fact is, he is spending time with her, communicating with her, and not focusing on you. It is nice to spend time with his family for mothers day, and he has done the right thing to stay with your little one in the hopstial. That is all well and good, but there has to be more serious effort from him. You and your children deserve to be First place with him, not second or when he has time. He is not treating this other girl with any respect either, does he think all women are just here for HIM,?? He doesnt even have the decency to choose between you and the other girl. Im sorry , but, this is not good for anyone. Try to ease out of the relationship, It will still hurt, but if you start to withdraw your attachment from him and focus on your little ones you will feel better. hugs, Marie.

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    DS is home now on antibiotics n ventolin home from school. He doesn't live here anymore gave my key back other day when DS broke mine n there has been sex since the breakup n up until few days before he so coldly hurt me. His mum said he knows I'm hurting n to stop pushing he hasn't met her yet just ph n txt. But still hurts. I told him out of anger it's me n kids or her n he basically just ignored it replied with what are u Gunna do. So I don't know really wanting a magic fix

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    Quote Originally Posted by jagamoe View Post
    DS is home now on antibiotics n ventolin home from school. He doesn't live here anymore gave my key back other day when DS broke mine n there has been sex since the breakup n up until few days before he so coldly hurt me. His mum said he knows I'm hurting n to stop pushing he hasn't met her yet just ph n txt. But still hurts. I told him out of anger it's me n kids or her n he basically just ignored it replied with what are u Gunna do. So I don't know really wanting a magic fix
    U shouldda replied his text saying that u don't want anything to do with him besides matters dealing with his kids and that u will find someone better than him who will love and appreciate u.

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    Also if u think there's a chance he may come back to u....u should let him go.. If ur always there for him/chasing him, he's going to keep disrespecting u. let him go...if he comes back to u, u can then decide whether or not u want him.

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    Hugs

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    Quote Originally Posted by FindMyLunch View Post
    I'm sort of on the other side of this, I was the one who broke up with my ex, and while he is holding on to hope that we will work through it, I have tried to be as honest as possible to let him know that it isn't likely to happen.

    I had tried to spare his feelings, which is perhaps what your X has done to you, but I realised it would probably work out to be more hurtful if I string him along.

    I think that it is going to hurt, it is inevitable, but positive affirmations and the help and support of your friends and family can make all the difference.

    This was exactly my situation after 6 years and 3 months out from our wedding date I called it quits for reasons that aren't worth writing.

    I tried my best to spare his feelings when I moved on though he clearly wanted me back anyway. He once even turned up to pick up the kids with that akon song that goes 'I wish we never broke up na na na na' blasting from the car stereo.....oh dear.

    Honestly up until dp I was rebounding hard. I did love him but there was too many trust issues for me to ignore or forgive. It broke my heart to see him like that and how it affected the boys but I had to harden up and take one day at a time. Until a day turned into a week and a week into a month. My friends were my rock. Someone once said to me that if you halve the time you were together that's how long it takes to be ready to move on. From experience, it's about right.

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  11. #28
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    Thanks guys he's showed up blaring NFG all downhill from here so I know he's hurting that's his I'm hurting thing I think there is a chance he might come back so I'm letting go as much as I can but still holding on n keeping hope but dont want to push him away he's coming over in about half hr Dubno how I'm Gunna hold it together or bite my tongue every time I see him I wanna break down n cry stupid thing is after the trust issues I couldn't hurt anymore n I called it quits n now realize what a mistake that was n just wanna fix it I'll try keep the friendship n hope it's bloody messy n hurts so much

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    Why is he coming over?

    As hard as it is, I think you need to let it go.

    He doesn't see this other girl, so he probably tells you he wants to make a go of it, just to get you into bed, and once he's got what he wants, he drops you like a sack of potatoes.

    I'm sorry, but I think he is taking advantage of you because he knows he can.

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  14. #30
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    I agree with BRV, I am so sorry you are hurting hun

    You are strong enough to do this. You just don't realise that yet, but you will. Then you will start to feel better, slowly, very slowly but better.

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