Hurting like hell

**jagamoe** · 16-05-2012 23:59

Ok so last night we agreed to a parenting plan. I bawled my eyes it he hugged me n told me he wanted to adopt my DS and then this morning he told me he was going to meet his skA&k and that he was leaving at 3 incase anything happens I ignored his txt and didn't talk to him all day 8:30 tonight he txt me saying got stood up heading home so being a smart *** I txt back being beers and come sign parenting plan. He's coming over tomorrow to sign it I'm so confused was I supposed to care that he got stood up I dont understand why he felt the need to txt me and tell me? I still love him n would love for our family to work but I will not be a swinging door argh this is so crappy n confusing

**Ellymoe** · 17-05-2012 01:07

Unfortunately, some people like to string others along, not just for the sex but for the boost to their ego. It's flattering to have someone want you so badly, even if you don't want them (sometimes especially if you don't want them, it creates a power imbalance). I suspect this is what he is getting out of all the back and forth he is doing with you.

**HopefulK** · 17-05-2012 05:56

He is keeping you off to one side as his back-up but at the same time wants to go out and find someone else. Do you really want to be the fall back option rather than his number one woman???

Think of it this way, do you want your kids to learn this is what it means to be in love, being d1cked around by a man who can't make up his mind or treat you with respect? You and your children deserve much, much more.

**Gonnabemum** · 17-05-2012 06:00

Originally Posted by brownsugar

Also if u think there's a chance he may come back to u....u should let him go.. If ur always there for him/chasing him, he's going to keep disrespecting u. let him go...if he comes back to u, u can then decide whether or not u want him.

This is the best advice, just distance yourself from him like you don't care and if he really wants you he'll come chasing you. If he doesn't then you'll really know and have already partly moved on yourself.

**BigRedV** · 17-05-2012 06:13

I'm sorry he is doing this to you. I just wish you could see it from the outside. He is using you. Even if he decides to stay with you, you are only second best to him. Seriously, you are still so young, please just let him go, you will find someone eventually who treats you nice. At the moment, you need to just be string for your children.

**jagamoe** · 07-06-2012 19:30

Ok so since she stood him up he was all about me for like week n half all affectionate spent every day together n then she came back on scene claiming she lost her phone for 10 days but it was off the night he hot stood up n in the next day so i think that's s lie n he was all we can only be friends since she's dropped off the scene again he's been all affectionate towards me again saying he misses me n does still have feelings for me and spent a bit of time together said he enjoys spending time with me again he's liking it n there's no pressure or expectations but we are friends? He's staying the night here Saturday n doing something together as a family Sunday every night this week we have stayed up talking to each other n when he comes around he's more than happy to give me a kiss n hug but at the same time he's still txt a few other girls not happy about that but my feelings for him are still the same n I think he doesn't know wht he wants I know he's scared of us fighting again but I know it will be different n so badly want everything to work. His mum has told me to enjoy and make enjoyable the time we spend together and told him I feel stupid for staying hopeful n he told me not to :$ so I'm not talking about it with him not asking questions just hoping thT he will realise it's me he wants n come home to me n kids it's constantly on my mind n I just want everything to work so much

**faroutbrusselsprout** · 07-06-2012 19:40

Just because your feelings are "still the same" doesn't mean you should be with him!
He's texting OTHER WOMEN!! He sounds like a manipulative loser.
Seriously, be 'more' than your feelings and demand better for yourself as your children!

**Myztik** · 07-06-2012 19:43

Sounds like he's stringing you along in case things don't work out with the other chick. Sorry

**Monster & Boof** · 07-06-2012 19:53

How are you doing this to yourself? Truthfully he sounds like a pig! You are good enough for him at the moment and then the next chick will come along and you will be thrown in the gutter and replaced again! How can you handle that? How can you hold on to hope when from what you are saying he is just stringing you along so he doesn't feel alone? I'm not saying this to be mean at all so please don't take offense but sometimes seeing the big picture really really helps! You sound confused and like you are holding onto a tiny amount of hope that he will change - most of the time they don't.. Yeah he may be your daughters father and the "dad" to your son but have you thought about how much this is confusing them! Look I may of gotten the wrong impression and I'm sorry of I did, I don't judge with this kinda stuff but just wanted to tell you how I see it! Hugs to you I hope it works out how you want it to xx

**delirium** · 07-06-2012 19:58

I agree with BRV and others. He's seeing this other girl, quite possibly sleeping with her while he's still coming to you and hedging his bets with 'we'll wait and see'. Then she doesn't give him attention and he's back to you for a week. He's using you as a backup plan hun

I doubt they are just texting each other, I highly suspect they are in a relationship and she would tell you so. I also bet she has no idea he's telling you there's still a chance. So he's being dishonest with both of you. All assumptions I know, but I bet I'm right.

let him go

do you really want to be the fall back bc his other relationship doesn't turn out?