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    Default Hurting like hell

    Ok so DP n I split early feb he's had me under the impression that he wants to make it work until Monday when he coldly told me he's started talking to someone else n I've seen the ph records txt n ph calls to this girl won't tell me a name or anything all u know is she lives in bris. He's told me its none of my effing business. Do I fight for this our relationship kids family or do I let go ? I'm hurting like crazy in tears all the time I do t know what to do

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    Let go, as much as you may want to make it work it won't unless you both do

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    Izy  (09-06-2012)

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    i agree, both sides have to be willing to work on the relationship for it to last. He should not be involved with anyone else, even on a platonic basis. I dont see much hope for the relationship. Whatever he is doing, it is your business, there should be no secrets. He should not be hurting you. hugs, Marie.

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    You cant fight for him to want the relationship. That will cause you more pain.

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    Firstly I'm so sorry that your going through this. Having recently split from my DH i feel your pain!! You can only fight for a relationship if the other partner wants it just as much as you do otherwise your setting yourself up for failure. The fact that he is already moving on with another women suggests that he is not invested in your relationship at all. My suggestion is to focus on you now and work out what you want for yourself. You deserve someone who wants to fight for you. Stay strong

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    Thanks for replies how do I let go if he's not willing to make it work we'd been together since I was 17 took on my son as his own n we have a daughter together Everyone has told me to stay strong n I don't know how to it kills me having to see him everyday

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    Unfortunately I think it's going to hurt since u have been with him this long.... But as the others have said if he's already moved on, there's no hope for u...
    Keep urself busy, confide in your closest friends, and plan for your future constructively...as you have to think of how you will manage on your own...
    Remind yourself of your worth. You are precious and have the right to be with someone who loves you and someone who wants to be with you....
    Listen to the song "strong enough" by Cher....and belt it out [it helped me loads when I broke up with an ex-bf - ] and u will be empowered... Good luck.

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    I agree with brownsuger it is going to hurt for a while and the best way to deal with that is to keep yourself as busy as possible and don't be affraid to rely on your support network for late night chats or a shoulder to cry on when in need. In my experience your family and friends will want to be there for you. It's not an easy road by any means but there is light at the end of the tunnel you just have to ride the roller coaster to get there and you will.

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    I'm sort of on the other side of this, I was the one who broke up with my ex, and while he is holding on to hope that we will work through it, I have tried to be as honest as possible to let him know that it isn't likely to happen.

    I had tried to spare his feelings, which is perhaps what your X has done to you, but I realised it would probably work out to be more hurtful if I string him along.

    I think that it is going to hurt, it is inevitable, but positive affirmations and the help and support of your friends and family can make all the difference.


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    The hardest part is I only hVe his family n his friends here and he hasn't tried to spare my feelings at all he's cold nasty n plain mean up until last weekend he was still saying he loved me n then Monday just like he snapped claims he's been talking to this girl for a month yet still coming round acting like we were together n things were looking up n now bragging about it I feel so easily replaced stupid worthless guilty n hurting like hell it wasn't a bed of roses but it was still my own lil family n now it's in tatters n I'm left to pick up the pieces I want the pain to stop I wanna end it all I see no light at the end of the tunnel


 

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