oops wrong thread..
oops wrong thread..
Last edited by lovemybubbas; 11-05-2012 at 13:18.
Good for you White knight...
I work in childcare and If she hadnt spoken to her Director regarding her concerns you can be sure she is either really, really unprofessional or she didn't actually have strong concerns in the firt place! As long as I have been a carer the procedure for these type of concerns would have been to report to the director first not the parent.
The fact that you were concerned enough to post here for advice says to me that your a good mummy
Hope your girls enjoyed having you home!
Sent from my GT-I9000 using BubHub
I'm really glad you spoke up, good for you!
As for what she said, I think it's outrageous!! What she described is pretty much every single toddler I know, including my own. They're messy, they get grubby within seconds of being cleaned. My DD's child care centre actually told me to send her in old, stained clothes because they do a lot of messy activities and there's just no point sending them in new clothes to get ruined.
I could *maybe* understand her concern if you were a parent who always sent their children to CC in pristine condition (which for me would be IMPOSSIBLE, but hey, some do seem to manage it) because then it would seem obvious that you aren't coping as you normally would. But if your standard of care hasn't slipped (and there's in nothing wrong with your standard of care by the sound of it) then I think she needs to pull her head in and maybe google 'normal two year olds' and see what she comes up with.
Oh, and just as a last note, a family member of mine works for DOCs and if she received a call about you from that woman I'm pretty sure she would laugh down the phone at her. There are so many cases of REAL neglect out there that the fact that your kids show up with food on their clothes sometimes would immediately disqualify you from the bad mum Olympics, cos at least it shows they've eaten.
Do not be afraid of DOCS. They are not the baby police. They are there to support you. Do you have a social worker? As a widow with twin toddlers there are probably many services you can access that will support you. Nobody want to remove children from mothers who love them, but it is important to make sure than families are not floundering unnecessarily.
I would suggest being proactive and seeking support, because you deserve it.
OP, I'm so sorry for your loss. I just want to reiterate what everyone has said - you're doing an incredible job at a really hard time in yours and your twins lives.
If you're in Sydney, I'd be happy to help you out in any way I can. If you need a break or anything, just PM me.
she is OTT do your kids come home clean? Kids are meant to be dirty and majority of the kids at my work eat in the car so are grubby. Also we encourage dirty stained clothes. I think you should talk to the director about her.
She should NEVER have spoken to you to begin with about DOCS and I hope she is disciplined considering she is meant to support you during this time.
Last edited by fairyflossfairy; 11-05-2012 at 19:29.
Good on you for saying something to
The director. Hopefully she will call you back with a positive update/apology soon..
Good response from the director as far as I am concerned. Also If anyone is going to bring up this sort of thing - and it sounds as if she was pushing for the angle that you needed to change a number of things - it is only appropriate that she now gives you a list of services to call. These services need to be people who will actually support and help you.
If you have the confidence to, I would ask the centre for the numbers of these services. If you are in Victoria for eg , you can call Child First - which is a department of DHS, but actually puts in place programs and support structures for families. Also call your local council and maternal health nurse to see what other programs and supports there are for you.
lastly try and go to your GP and see if he/ she can refer you to support programs, if you can get any council funded in home support, respite, carer support etc.
There are a lot of programs to support parents whose spouse has died, and the centre should have told you these programs, who exactly you should call, and offered you proper advice on how to fix what they saw as issues.
I haven't had my spouse pass away, but my mum died when I was young, and I know that my dad was offered support from so many angles, council, school etc. Try to push for the council support your counsellor may also be able to refer you on to some of these supports too.
Massive huge... No advice just hugs.
Pregnant for the first-time?
Not sure where to start? We can help!
Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!