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    Default does your child with ASD go to daycare?

    when ds#2 was 22 months we put him into a daycare centre (this was before dx) he did not adapt well, i was not told the full extent of his struggles until i approached them 4 months later after witnessing him, walking around the room screaming and crying. i was then told 'he does that all day, unless being held by one particular carer' 0_o well... THANKS FOR TELLING ME THAT EARLIER! they would always say "he has had an ok day, emotional" but never went into what that meant. upon further queries we found out he was terrified of the other kids, and would not participate in ANY activity etc.

    this is what lead us to getting a dx (as my first son also with ASD was the same however he did calm down after a couple of months and eventually settled in quite well, despite not wanting to play with the other children, we did not have a dx at that stage and did not know the depth of his struggles.)

    ok back to ds#2. so we removed him from care straight away. and now we are getting intervention (speech and OT)

    so.. the time will come where i will be expected to get him around other children (due to quite a few circumstances, but mainly his general fear, anxiety and meltdowns, we do not socialise with other children... ) and will need to do it before school starts. so my option is what? daycare?

    preschool? is one year prior to school adequate time? he will be three in a few weeks, and im feeling pressure to socialise him. and its actually giving me nightmares about it. it all ends up the same. i drop him off he loses his mind. i come back to get him to find him red faced, snotty, blood shot eyes, and them telling me he cried and screamed all day.

    basically. i dont want to do it.

    will age make him better? do i try at maybe three and a half? a centre seems too huge...but our paed said that he would write a pretty in depth letter to the daycare stating his eligablity for an aide. that does ease my mind, but i dont know how much time he would get. i dont think family daycare would be appropriate for his needs... and i keep reading stories on the news about teachers and carers being HORRIBLE to SN kids (caught on recordings) omg i cant bare the idea of that.

    we dont have any type of SN daycare or schools around us.. >_< i dunno..

    what would you do? or what have u done with your special little person?

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    He would be eligible for an Inclusion Support Worker.. i think having an adult allocated specifically to him would help Theres not many other ways around it if you dont have any ECDP or SEU's near you

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    I would start with play dates at home. My nephew is ASD. If you put him in care it's sink or swim situation and it sounds like sinking will be immediate. I would go to play cafes at quite times with 1 or 2 kids or Mc Donalds play grounds so he can just be near other kids. That way you are around and he can at least be happier with you there and other kids as well. Good luck.

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    Are there any Playgroups near you? A playgroup type scenario may work as you would still be there so he may feel more secure and less anxious with you 'around'

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    Despite sending her to a great centre, childcare was harmful to my child, but unavoidable because I had to work.

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    My friends ds has asd and he was at daycare for a few years before being diagnosed with it. The centre just thought he was very naughty and banned him eventually when the fact was they were inexperienced to realize there was more to his behaviour. In my opinion the way they managed him was a disgrace. But anyway he is now 4yrs old and at kindy and doing well.

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    Quote Originally Posted by kimbo View Post
    Are there any Playgroups near you? A playgroup type scenario may work as you would still be there so he may feel more secure and less anxious with you 'around'
    This is what I was going to suggest too - this and playdates at home to start off with

  10. #8
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    boysrgr8 is offline living with a constant look of OMG!
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    My son does go to daycare. He was in FDC for a while, and then went to a long daycare centre because his daycare mum went back to work full time.
    My son doesn't really engage with the other kids and he will have an aide soon, can't wait for that, but he does seem to enjoy it.

    I would suggest calling your local Autism Australia group, they may share other options that you didn't know about.
    I think socialisation is a good thing, but not everything.
    I am only new on this journey, I hope you find answers that work for you all. xx

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    Zombie_eyes is offline Formerly Diamondeyes
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    Thanks for the replies everyone.

    We do go to play centres but end up needing to leave because its too over whelming; the colours, the noise, the children (the parents sit at their tables with their coffees and dont watch their kids, so the kids go nuts, and be little jerks to my son who is obviously scared and distressed)

    We have been going to a local park almost every afternoon the last couple of weeks, with other children, he seems to be ok, but i am helicoptering him because he is quite vocal about what he wants and will sometimes approach a child saying 'i want a turn i want a turn' type of thing...

    I rang my ds#1's old daycare, he hasnt been for two and a half years yet instantly after saying my name they remembered me and asked how ds#1 was doing... I explained our situation and they said they would be happy to accomodate ds#2. they said we should start in the smaller toddler room and stay there until we can get ds toilet trained (its just not working right now) and said we could apply for funding for a one on one support aide, and that we could do a long transition type of thing, where for as long as i want, i can come with ds, and we can stay for however long we want and leave together, until he gets used to the carers and the environment.

    I think its probably the best chance we have at making it work.

    Im still in tears about it every other day, because i just dont want him to be unhappy or for it to be scary or horrible for him. But i keep reminding myself that if it doesnt work, i trust these people to tell me (unlike the other place) and i can remove him at any time.

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    Also, our autism advisor did suggest we try this; as this particular daycare has had children with autism before, they were the ones who put me onto our speech therapist for ds#1 who wasnt even dx when he attended, but they knew he was special and they made it a good place for him. (at the time they had 2 other kids with asd in the pre school room)

    So i really hope it benefits him, if it doesnt, i really dont know if i would attempt it again... But then what will he be like at school! Omg..

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