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  1. #1
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    Default Question about children being separated from parents

    Hi there. I can't believe I am writing here, but it appears that I will be a single parent very soon.

    My husband has been discussing that when we separate, he wants us to split the kids, so that he can have one or two of them living with him permanently and then I will have the other children living with me.

    I have calmly tried to speak with him about the massive impact it will have on our young children if they are separated, but he is adamant that this is what he wants or else he will just disappear out of their lives forever.

    Have any of you gone through this and would Family Court allow children under 8 years old be separated from each other?

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    Sorry I've got no experience or knowledge of the courts but I know they consider what is best for the children more that what is best for the adults. I'd be tempted to call his bluff. Do you think you could cope with all the kids yourself? I don't know how many there are but if you want them all stick to your guns. If he walks out then he's not much of a dad anyway and the kids are better off with you. Big hugs. Sorry I can't help more but in sure other hubbers can

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    That really sounds like a horrible idea Do you think he would *really* walk out their lives forever? Or is a threat to scare you into doing what he wants? I would be inclined to ignore it. Threatening to split them up or abandon them are both very selfish choices.

    I'm not sure about the courts... I would doubt it, but someone else might have more advice.

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    I dont believe a parent could get dull time custody of *some* of his or her kids while leaving the others with the parent.

    The govt usually does 50/50 custody.


    Eta - if you have messages from gin saying I want *some*of of my children full time or I will have nothing to do with any of them keep the messages, they might be able to be used im court
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  5. #5
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    It all depends on the ages of the children as to whether he'll even get 50/50 as well as how much he was around when you were together.

    I don't believe the courts will separate the kids anyway as its not in their best interests at all. Courts don't care too much about the parents to be honest, their primary concern is the well being of the children and making sure the children are able to foster a good relationship with each parent.

    Let him make his threats. Honestly men have no idea sometimes.

    And pls pls pls laugh in his face if he tries to tell you he'll take the kids off you altogether. Just laugh and wish him luck.



    Start a comprehensive diary now, keep copies of all msgs and where possible only correspond with him in writing. This actually forces you to remain civil too lol (worked wonders for me)
    Last edited by HugsBunny; 08-05-2012 at 18:45.

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    Go see legal aide or get legal advise ASAP.

    I very much doubt they will split the kids up and by your sig I am guessing 2 of them a twins which make me think they defiantly won't split them up. He is trying to upset you ignore it don't let him see you react. Like pp have said keep ANY record of things he says. 50/50 custody does not always mean 50/50 time with each of you either. It could mean you decide things together but the children stay with the one parent the most of the time.

    How could he even think this is a good idea for the kids. Sounds like he is thinking of himself not the kids

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    Stiflers Mom  (08-05-2012)

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    Thank you all for your replies. Yes I do have twins and it is the twins he is talking about. He either wants our son to live with him or both the twins to live with him. He understands that I will obviously be seeing them, but he wants 'home base' to be with him, if that makes sense? They all go to the same school and are so close, not just in age, but also in their friendship and love for one another. I just know it would break their hearts to know they weren't all going to be together at bed-time or breakfast etc.

    As for me handling all three on my own, well, I pretty much do that already. I do the breakfasts, lunches, dinners, school-runs, extra activities, homework help, plus I work and still maintain the home. My husband does help, but it is by no means 50/50.

    I have a meeting with a counsellor next week, but I guess i just wanted to be prepared for what I might hear and be told can legally happen.

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    Contact the family relationship centre for advice on mediation also. He can't take you to court til you've been through mediation anyway.

    Keep calm

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bunnyhugs View Post
    Contact the family relationship centre for advice on mediation also. He can't take you to court til you've been through mediation anyway.

    Keep calm
    Also you dont have to agree to anything at mediation, if mediation doesn't work they'll give you a certificate stating mediation didn't work and you can pursue it through the courts, I'm going through it atm with my ex, also dont let him bully you into anything, you need to do what is best for your children.

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    If you cannot afford private lawyer fees go and see a solicitor at your local community legal centre or Legal Aid office.

    The Family Court is not in favour of separating siblings,especially if they are young and you have been their primary caregiver.

    One option the court may consider if the children are old enough and it is in their best interests is shared care where all the children live with you a percentage of time and their father a percentage of time.

    I would also suggest calling his bluff and definitely do not give in to his threats or intimidation.

    Get some legal advice before you do anything else and keep a record of everything that is said between you and your DH about the kids and separation.
    Last edited by MsTruth; 08-05-2012 at 21:37.

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    Ana Gram  (08-05-2012),cluckcluck  (09-05-2012),ItWasntMe  (08-05-2012),Stiflers Mom  (08-05-2012)


 

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