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  1. #41
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    I agree whole heartedly that not saying thank you when she
    receives the gift is really rude!! A thank you is not hard and just general good manners!

    But I think she maybe just doesn't like the clothes your buying!

    My DS has animals on his quilt but I would never dress him in a top with animals all over it so just because he has dinosaurs in his nursery maybe doesn't automatically mean she likes overalls with them on iykwim?

    I think you sound like a great SIL and as she has such a great relationship with you already she might not want to upset you or ruin that bond by saying 'I don't like the clothes'

    Maybe just drop it into convo next time 'Oh did xyz outfit fit nephew ok?' or something?

    On the toy - as it was personalized I would not have given it to my children either, I'd see it as a keepsake piece not a toy to be played with and agree kids get so many stuffed animals, not ONE my children actually play with any!

  2. #42
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    Witwicky is offline A closed mouth gathers no foot.
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    I'm very grateful for any presents we receive and I like to show my gratitude, so I will always either send a photo if they live away or dress them in the outfit when we see them next. I always, always say thank you...gosh I can't imagine not, how rude

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    I do try to dress DS in the clothes that he's been given when we next see the person but it never works out for me! It always happens that they drop around the day after he's worn it or poo-plodes in it earlier that day. And when he was a newborn I was honestly very scatterbrained and never thought to take note of who gave what and couldn't remember so I could do that.

  4. #44
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    rainbow road is offline look at the stars, look how they shine for you
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    I guess if I didn't like something someone had bought it'd be more reason for me to show them in it once, then subtly put it away or regift or something...

    The overalls I bought looked like this: OVERALLS
    The hat like this but with a different inside material - it was red with white stars: HAT

    I think I have pretty nice taste, but sure, it may not be to her taste!

    It does upset me though, especially since we do have a great relationship otherwise. I was her birth support person when nephew was born (her ex was working in WA, DPs parents were in Sweden and DP was a police academy) and have helped her out with a lot of nephew related things, especially when he was in the NICU after birth, doing shifts with him so she could sleep etc so I guess I think a thank you for the things I buy him wouldn't go amiss..

    Besides which, I wish I'd just kept the clothes so if I have a baby boy he could wear them since I think they're super toot!

  5. #45
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    I've never done that unless the person asked me for a pic of the kids in it (always people interstate or overseas).

    I do always thank anyone who gives the boys a present, whatever it is.

    Re the stuffed toy - a bit off topic but I hate them! It's the presents I dislike the most and most of the ones we were given moved on to opp shops. We got so many and they just gather dust, DS1 didn't care for them at all till he was over 2yo and even now there's just 2 he likes (and he asked for them in a shop), and DS2 doesn't care for them. There's nothing much you can do with them... Most kids I know have a stuffed toy or two they really like and the rest is just really good hangout space for dust :-( if there's one thing I'd never buy people/kids is stuffed toys, no matter how gorgeous they are.

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  7. #46
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    rainbow road is offline look at the stars, look how they shine for you
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    I'm the same with stuffed toys, to a degree - I hate cr@ppy filler toys, but absolutely adore the teddy I was given at birth, he still sleeps with us! So does DP's teddy. She chose the lamb hoping he'd be 'teddy' for the nephew which is why we personalised it for him.

    However, if anything comes out of this thread for me, I know I'll make sure every gift I receive, whether or not I like it, will get a thank you and if possible, some kind of post-gift recognition too. May be difficult, but I think it's something I will try to prioritise..

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    Imo It's rude not to thank the person that gave it to you, I don't expect a photo but it's a nice gesture. I would tag them in a photo on Facebook if ds was wearing the clothes they brought.

    Re stuffed toys I hate them with a passion. I threw out 30 stuffed toys when I moved I kept special ones but I think people should think about more practical gifts,

  9. #48
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    OP, i think with the stuffed toy...it was possibly an overstep...it is something a parent likes to do...chose their kids "snuggly".

    It is def rude not to say thank you...i would even ask for the clothes back when they are "finished with them" because you would love to add to your "future babies wardrobe".

    If it is going to grate on you though...i would gently raise it.

  10. #49
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    I don't necessarily think there's an issue with you providing a toy you'd hope would be the most-loved one. I don't think anyone can actively pick out a toy and aim for that though... the kid will prefer whichever it prefers. For me, it was a teddy my grandfather got me (not the one Mum and Dad had hoped I'd love most)... and with DD, it was a second-hand Tickle-me-Elmo from the 90s... that her Aunt gave her.

    I felt no ill feelings towards DD's aunt for getting her that Elmo. She loved him. How could I feel angry about the love that DD had for him?

  11. #50
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    I think you're right to feel a bit upset. Its a bit rude to not get a thank you, especially if you guys are close.

    Ps we do photos in this family too lol


 
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