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  1. #51
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    Oh no that sounds pretty bad

    Quote Originally Posted by Urban Tumbleweed View Post
    So HE wrote her a fb message.
    Then HE searched for airfares.
    Then HE searched for motels in your state.

    I'm sorry, I don't understand why you're in a tizzy at her?
    But I agree with this.

    You say you trust him, but not her. But sounds as though IF there is a trust issue here - and please talk to him about it, better aired, it could be nothing? - but IF there is, it seems as though he is taking action himself.

    But it could be a misunderstanding. So either way MSGing her might feel good momentarily. But it won't help.

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  3. #52
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    Not saying this in malice, but try and remember that your husband is human and will make mistakes. Regardless of how much you trust him.
    Head him off. Tell him you know the truth. Lie if need be and tell him that you had a message from her on Facebook. (send yourself a fake one).

    But at the end of the day, people can make stupid choices. Don't sit idle and allow it to happen.

    Take care.

  4. #53
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    Im sending hugs...
    You must be going crazy over this,
    You feel you can trust your partner but it sounds like maybe you cant
    Hope u get some answers


    Sent from my GT-I9000 using BubHub

  5. #54
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    Hugs! That must be an awful feeling. I personally would say nothing yet and keep an eye on what he's doing. I would want to know have proof of what was going on before confronting him and asking his side.
    Last edited by austmum; 07-05-2012 at 20:04.

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  7. #55
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    Confront Him. About EVERYTHING.

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    Witwicky  (07-05-2012)

  9. #56
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    Holy cow, my jaw dropped while I was reading this!!
    LOGICALLY, IF he were up to something, wouldn't it be the stupidest thing in the universe to use your computer to look the flights and hotel up?
    My DH always says to me that men are uncomplicated and logical.
    I know where you're coming from wanting to give her a virtual slap in the face. If it were me, I'd very calmly and quietly ask him about the hotel - it sounds like that's your MAIN concern. THings might get prickly if you straight up accuse him of going there to see her. You'll know in your heart of hearts by his body language and reaction. We'll cross the next bridge when we come to it. Obviously there's a seed of doubt there - address it. You owe it to yourself - and to him (particularly if there's a valid reason for it all).
    Good luck.

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  11. #57
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    So I got into his FB.....and they are talking dirty to each other through the private messages.

    I am so sick to my stomach, I don't know what to do now?

  12. #58
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    oh god thats awful news about the private messages... i think i would save the evidence then sit down and have it out, maybe even organise a counseling appointment so you have an impartial mediator. If need be I would say i needed him to come to an appointment for me. yuck.
    big hugs.

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    That's awful

    You said you trust him, not her. Can I just point out that you don't need to trust her? She is nothing to you. It's him who is indulging in this behaviour, sending messages, planning motel stays etc. you need to confront him ASAP. You are under no obligation to put up with this but having it out with her is not beneficial or needed- it's your husband that owes you an explanation, an apology and must work to regain your trust. I hope you get some answers soon.

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  15. #60
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    Quote Originally Posted by bambino View Post
    So I got into his FB.....and they are talking dirty to each other through the private messages.

    I am so sick to my stomach, I don't know what to do now?
    You have your proof. All that's left is to confront him. Ensure you take screen shots of their conversations and save them though.
    Assuming he hasn't been intimate with her already, you at least now know he had intentions.

    Please be gentle with yourself, you're allowed to grieve over this. It's a massive shock to the system.


 

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