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  1. #91
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    You poor thing *hugs*

    If it were me, I'd be printing whatever you have now, you never know when he'll realise what's going on and change his password. I'd also confront him now before it goes any further

    I'm so sorry this is happening to you. How horrible

  2. #92
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    Quote Originally Posted by GluttonForPunishment View Post
    Print off what you've got, think very clearly about what you want to say then confront him. As a pp said, there is no "did you send etc" but rather "I know you've been doing this. It stops now and we need to have a serious conversation about our marriage. Counseling - all of it."

    Be strong and demand that he comes clean. There is now no easy path with this. Best of luck.
    I agree with both of these posts. Why wait to gather more 'evidence'? You have enough proof right now to know that he's crossing the line with this person. Don't torture yourself by waiting, do it soon/tonight.


    Quote Originally Posted by Bell & Bug View Post
    Do you really need more evidence? I'd think what you have already is more than enough. Don't torture yourself.

  3. #93
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    Here's the thing, I think, about waiting til Sunday for more evidence.
    a) It's going to torture you, and he may pick up on that and his guilty conscience might take effect and he'll in turn change password, delete evidence and think all is dandy.
    b) What if come Sunday the evidence is even more hurtful?
    c) It gives him more time to think of a cover story. It's totally possible in the back of his mind he's worried he'll be found out and the entire time has been thinking of all the 'what ifs'.

    You really do need to go at him head on, tell him you aren't happy with something you've discovered about him recently and right now is his chance to come clean - and let him no there's no point in lying as you've got the proof. Coming clean straight up would be a lot easier for you to handle, I know I would, rather than anything else.

    Be strong and remember you did nothing wrong, this is all his fault, and its his fault he got caught. You have done nothing wrong and you are owed an explanation. I'm sorry you are going through this and I hope you can get through it with the best possible outcome for you.

  4. #94
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    Zombie_eyes is offline Formerly Diamondeyes
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    sunday is mothers day, u cant do that to yourself.

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  6. #95
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    You deserve better than this. Don't second guess yourself. You are worth so much more than this. The only one who can stand up and say 'I deserve better, you jack@ss!' is you. Take a deep breath and show yourself ​some love.

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    Oh no that's awful. I'm so sorry.

    I agree with others - you don't need to prove to him he's having an affair. (even if he's not sleeping with her - id personally consider it an affair. It's sexual and it's hidden, sex or not, to me it's an affair)

    Confront him when you are ready. When you feel you know what you want to do about it.

    Im sorry

  8. #97
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    I agree with detach. Don't Be specific about what proof you have. First Of all, if he is unsure what evidence you have he may assume you know it
    all and spill the beans. Secondly, I wouldn't want him to know that you've been illegally accessing his Facebook (it will make you look neurotic and weak).

    It's no doubt incredibly difficult
    And heartbreaking for you. But
    try to be the adult and not play games (snoop further in his messages, send his friend messages from a fake account). Playing games will reflect negatively on you and just give the other girl ammo to use. you'll be proud of yourself for rising above them if you don't play games.

    Good luck

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  10. #98
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    Please let us know how you go, Bambino.

    Thinking of you - I know this must be so hard for you! The same thing happened to my mum and dad (gross!) and they ended up separating for 6 months but they are together and happy now. In their case, it was flirting that went too far but not physical.

    Good luck and be strong! I agree there are some decisions you need to make for yourself first and you should know what a deal breaker is for you.

    X

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    Quote Originally Posted by SAgirl View Post
    One piece of advice that someone taught me which makes sense in my head is let him tell u everything before u tell him what u know.

    The reason: if there is any way to build up trust again, it's easier knowing that he has some ounce of honesty in him rather than u not giving him a chance to come clean and then u never know if he would have been honest and told u in the first place. Hope that makes sense
    This ^

    Quote Originally Posted by DiamondEyes View Post
    sunday is mothers day, u cant do that to yourself.
    Oh it is to don't do it then

  12. #100
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    Hugs ... It's such a horrible feeling to have the person you trust be someone you never thought they'd be.

    Take care of yourself x


 

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