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  1. #1
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    Default Heart broken about my ex friends baby :(

    I was best friends with a girl for 7 years. I helped her through numerour ivf attempts. Then her marriage broke up and she basically lived with my husband and I. When she wasn't with me she was talking to me on the phone. It was a terrible time for her and I tried to help her through it. Then she met a guy and he had his own friends and didn't really want to be friends with us. So she saw us less and less and then not at all. It really hurt because she was our kids godparent and doesn't see them anymore. I can genuinely say that after what she did, I don't want to be friends with her anymore. So why is it that when I heard that she had had a baby the other day that I feel so hurt about it? I feel like after all the bad stuff I had to help her through it would have been nice to see the good stuff. Does this make sense to anyone? Because it is doing my head in at the moment.

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    Totally get it, my exbestie's partner is in labour and although I don't want him back as a friend I feel like I'm missing out on such a huge thing, this is the first big thing that's happened
    In our lives that we haven't been there for each other.

    Maybe send your congratulations and leave it at that, if you want to repair the friendship you can take it further

  3. #3
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    Yep and she was there for the birth of both my children. I was going to send a congrats but I talked to mum and she said things between us are over and it would be weird to get in touch so I didn't.

    Quote Originally Posted by daysta112 View Post
    Totally get it, my exbestie's partner is in labour and although I don't want him back as a friend I feel like I'm missing out on such a huge thing, this is the first big thing that's happened
    In our lives that we haven't been there for each other.

    Maybe send your congratulations and leave it at that, if you want to repair the friendship you can take it further

  4. #4
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    I would send her a card and also mention in there that you would like to get back in touch.

    I do not think it is weird to touch base after a short period of time.

    Ps I just re-read your post. iF you do not want to be friends then just let it go. You may have just been reminded of what the friendship meant hence feeling upset so, this feeling will pass.

  5. #5
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    The thing is that it was horrible at the end with her saying that she was coming and then never showing up and me having to explain it to the kids. We went from being so close to nothing over a very quick period of time and she really hurt me. LOL is was like going through a breakup. So that is why I don't know why I care so much about her having a baby but it has brought up all kinds of emotions that I thought I was over.

  6. #6
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    breaking up or growing apart can be so painful.

    I've recently been through a friend break up (our husbands are still friends) and she's pregnant. When we hear the happy news of the birth I will still send a.bunch of flowers and a card. I don't see the harm in that. If you feel that sending a card would help.to soothe your heartache then I don't see the harm. I have no intention of rekindling this friendship with my former friend, but congratulating them on the birth seems like the right thing to do.

  7. #7
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    Maybe it's just more you always thought you would be with here if/when she had kids? It's never easy when someone you were once so close to has something big happen something you always thought you would be apart of and then suddenly your not

    I would pass on congrats and see what comes of it

    Good luck and hugs

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    Thanks guys for all your advice. It has been on my mind for days. You have all made me feel better.

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    Hedda I am currently going through something very similar. It does bl00dy hurt. I honestly hope you start to feel better soon it is not a nice feeling. You sound like an awesome friend to have its her loss...x

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    Quote Originally Posted by LoCo View Post
    Hedda I am currently going through something very similar. It does bl00dy hurt. I honestly hope you start to feel better soon it is not a nice feeling. You sound like an awesome friend to have its her loss...x
    Thanks, I really appreciate you saying that because a lot of what I think I have been dwelling on is what I did wrong to make all of this happen. I feel like she was so mean at the end and I think I was hurt that she never told me she was having a baby especially when I went though all the ivf stuff with her. It's really hard to get your head around being so close to someone and then nothing. Not even a phone call when your having a baby.


 

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