So I had some chocolate.... and a big game of Lego with DS1 and casually got him talking about when he feels angry and says those things. I explained calmly that it is mummy and daddy's job to help teach him things sometimes but that if he ever thinks we are being unfair he can always talk to us about it. I just reminded him to try to use kind words to do it, because kind words help people put their listening ears on while hurtful words make people stop listening. We made a game out of taking a big deep breath and puffing it out and pretending we were blowing all our anger out. I reminded him that he can use that kind of breath when he feels mad.
Will it work? Who knows. But he listened and soaked it all in. Seemed very happy about it all and has been super well behaved today so fingers crossed we minimize the cranky chat
That's just beautiful <3
I hope some nice time helped "heal" you as well.
Interesting topic. I haven't had this problem YET with my son. I get where eclectic dreamer was coming from. Personally I think there's a big difference between "You're not my friend/I don't want to play with you" and "I hate you".
I remember when I was young my Mum banned us from using the word "hate" - she said it wasn't nice and not a word we use in our household. Whether it was hating dinner or hating brothers or hating mum/Dad we would be in trouble if we said it. I suspect if DS ever said he hated us/dinner/something we would take the same approach and if he persisted, we'd use timeout, because I think that really is a respect/common decency issue. But if it was more a "you're not my friend, you're a meanie, I don't love you" then I'd see it as blowing off steam and totally ignore it. I wouldn't go on about how it hurts/upsets me because I reckon that's just what they are trying to achieve at that moment in time!
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