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  1. #1
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    Default 4yo kinder .. not sure what to do.

    Hi I am unsure what to do with my DS.
    I have enrolled him in 4yo kinder (vic - year before school) his bday is in Aug and he will be 4.5 when he starts kinder and 5.5 starting school.

    I am worried that he wont be ready for kinder though. Academically he will be ok but socially and emotionally i think he will struggle, he wants to be with me all the time, and I cant even leave him with DP even to go to the shops etc.
    DP works alot so DS is used to being with me all the time.
    The new kinder timetable is 15 hours a week for 2013 it used to be 11 hrs a week its just too much.

    Some of the timetables for the kinders are stupid, 8.00-4.00pm 2 days a week, there is no way he is ready for that. Its that or 3x 5 hr sessions.

    So my main questions are ...
    -Can i enrol him in 3yo kinder at 4yo ?
    -If i can do that is it too late to get a place?
    -Can i enrol him in both 3yo and 4yo kinder and what and see which one would suit him better ?
    -
    If he doesn't cope at 4yo kinder can i pull him out and send him the following year, so at 5.5 kinder and 6.5 starting prep ?

    - How many kids at your kids 4yo kinder were 5yo ?
    -How many kids at your kids 3yo kinder were actually 4 ?

    I prefer him to start school at 6 than 5 yo. But I have no idea how he will be by the time the year ends because who knows he may be ready for school at 5.5.

    He does play group at present (with me there) and he is still struggling a bit, wont sit with a group and cry's and whinges, is shy and doesn't interact much with the other kids.

    Not sure what i should do

  2. #2
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    I think 6.5 is too old to start prep your kiddo will be much older than his fellow students and will be behind in his life. Better off to try and nip this in the bud now rather than to delay the same battle for a year down the track.

    I'm not sure what the answer is.
    Keep persisting with play group, perhaps getting professional advice on how to help your son socialise. How about leaving your child with daddy for short periods then building up? It may be a little tough at the start but somethings gotta give. Invite people to your house and let them interact with your son while your around?

    Perhaps the kindy can offer advice?
    Last edited by VicPark; 05-05-2012 at 09:42.

  3. #3
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    Sorry not much time for a long reply, but I'm pretty sure that your child MUST be in reception (prep) by the time they turn 6. So you legally can't wait till he is 6.5 to start.
    How about put him in 4 yo kinder and drop him off late/ pick him up early at least for the first few months.

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    I'm a bit confused. So, he's 3 now and will be 4 in a few months, is that right?

    He sounds pretty normal for a 3yo. Very normal actually. He sounds pretty similar to most kids that start 4yo Kinder too. AND, it's amazing what a difference another 8 months will make. My ds just got more & more independent after he turned 4.

    I don't think you can send him to school at 6.5 without a very good reason (significant disability) and even then I think you might have issues - need lots of reports/etc. I'm pretty sure kids need to be enrolled by the year they turn 6.

    What I suggest you do is enroll him in 4yo kinder - choose the 3x5 hour session if you think the other days are too long. If the teacher then thinks he's not ready for kinder (which I would think would be highly unlikely) she could suggest he does 3yo kinder instead and move him into the 3yo group instead. But if you book him into 3yo and then he needs 4yo instead it's very hard to move in that direction. You can't get funded places in both 3yo and 4yo kinder.

    My ds started 4yo kinder at just 4 (and a few weeks) and was quite shy, rarely interacted with other kids, clung to me at kinder drop off most of the time, etc. The teacher suggested mid-year that he have a 2nd year of Kinder. Now, he's 5 and thriving at Kinder. He has heaps of friends (which started in term 4 of last year), goes up the front of the group, doesn't cling to my leg/etc and he is having a great time. I think you'll find your ds starting at 4.5 is the PERFECT age. Don't expect him to be able to separate easily on Day 1, but it will happen pretty quickly I think. And as for starting school, 5.5 is an ideal age too - just right. I think without a REALLY good reason 6.5 would be too old.

    Oh and to answer your question there are lots of 5yo's in my ds's Kinder class. He's the oldest (mid - Jan birthday) I think, but there are 3 within 2 weeks of him and another 5 or so in the next month or two.

  6. #5
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    I am assuming he is your first child?

    I was exactly the same with DS1. He was a very clingy child. Whenever we went to playgroup he would stay by my side all the time and never interact with other kids. I would make me so sad when I would see all teh other kiddies playing together and he would play by himself.

    I was also very worried how he was going to cope without me when he went to kinder as well. Would he cry? Would he hate it?

    I enrolled him in 3 yo kinder (DS1 birthday is in July so he was 3.5 yo starting 3 yo kinder...turning 4 in July). And yes I wont lie...it was difficult at the start but the teachers are awesome. You can explain your concerns and they will do their utmost to include and make him happy. This is what they did for both DS1 and DS2.

    After a few weeks when all teh kids settled down he made friends and loved it!

    It is a big change from being at home with mum all the time but it is something the need to develope emotionally....how to be independant and know that if mum leaves she WILL be back.

    I wouldnt keep him back to long as I would believe it would have a negative impact always being the oldest...particularly as you are saying academically he is good then from a learning perspective he wont be getting that stimulation according to his age (does that make sense?).

    I would highly recommend enrolling in 3yo kinder as the sessions arent that long and its a good start before heading to 4yo kinder.

    DS2 still sometimes gets upset when we first get to kinder but the teachers are aware and include him straight away and always keeps an eye on him to make sure he is ok.

    And I know he loves it...once he warms up IYKWIM.

    From your post it seems like maybe you will be missing him when he goes? Do you think some of your worry is about leaving him as well as him missing you?

    As one of the other posters have said...leave him with your DP for an hour or two and get your DP to do fun things while you are gone so he doesnt remember to miss you.

    Also whichever kinder you have chosen I would highly recommend speaking to them about your concerns. They are very experienced and would have seen all sorts of kids come through with varying degrees of seperation anxiety.

    Also speak with your Primary School as well...again they are great and can alleviate any worries you have.

    Its really not as bad as you are thinking and feeling. And your DS will get so much value out of it...and besides he might surprise you and not even miss you at all!

  7. #6
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    Thanks for your replies.
    I am only worried that he will be stressed out by it all.
    I think there should be an option of the amount of hours they do there, like a 15hr group and an 11hr group.

    I will see how he goes, I dont want to hold him back if he will be bored at home another year, but I am dreading him going off into the big wide world at the same time.
    He seems too little still.

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    In the UK we start in reception at 4 and these are part of primary school. What you are describing is what lots of children were like for the first few weeks (it is full time in lots of schools) but they soon settle down and get into the routine. I would give your child a few weeks to settle before worrying too much! Good luck

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    Remember that lots of kids his age are in childcare for 8+ hours a day, 5 days a week, so 3x5 hour days is short for them. My ds was in childcare for 2 full days a week at 3, then started private school kinder at 4 going 8:45am til 3pm 3 days a week and this year at 5 he's in kinder from 8:45am til 3pm 5 days a week. He gets tired, but he has SO much fun. And he usually sleeps VERY well at night I think your ds will be fine.

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  12. #9
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    I'm in WA so it might be different but at the start of the year the usually do some transition days which are half days to ease the child into the routine.

    We also have a rest and relaxation time where children can sleep if they are tired.

    Most teachers would call you if your child is handling the full day and ask for him to be picked up. You might also be able to go in on parent help roster. We also let the parents stay for 20 minutes in the morning and do a puzzle with the children.

  13. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by mim1 View Post
    Remember that lots of kids his age are in childcare for 8+ hours a day, 5 days a week,
    yes a lot of us don't have the option are kids have to go so we can work
    try playgroup occasional care or one day a week at crèche or atleast something where you are not around all of the time

    but 6.5 for prep like other have said is to old


 

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