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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by lupa View Post
    You know what makes me feel sick? Is when mums are judgemental to other mums for their choices. There are many settling techniques that I think do more harm than good but I don't go into their topics and start throwing judgements. If only you took the time to read her story and hear her say that she needs support. For a mum to ask for help is a big thing and I am so SICK of seeing other mums being so judgemental instead of supportive just because they think they know what's best, even when they don't know a thing about it.
    Well said!
    She is looking for support and you have some from me.. I'm expecting twins so very interested how you go/ and any advice !

    Keep up the good work xxx

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  3. #12
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    Witwicky is offline A closed mouth gathers no foot.
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    Quote Originally Posted by lupa View Post
    You know what makes me feel sick? Is when mums are judgemental to other mums for their choices. There are many settling techniques that I think do more harm than good but I don't go into their topics and start throwing judgements. If only you took the time to read her story and hear her say that she needs support. For a mum to ask for help is a big thing and I am so SICK of seeing other mums being so judgemental instead of supportive just because they think they know what's best, even when they don't know a thing about it.
    Yeah I was expecting this type of response to my post and to be honest, I really don't care. Another persons newborn isn't my child, no, but it doesn't mean I'm not concerned for its health and wellbeing. I am literally gobsmacked by the recommendations on that website.

    Given the fact that this 'doctor' recommends controlled crying for a brand new infant, I would urge the OP to do her research on this topic and question whether she wants to listen to advice from a person whose recommendations go against most medical practitioners.

    I've never entered this section before and I don't intend to ever again

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  5. #13
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    This is the reason why I've posted in the pro-cc section rather than in the general sleep section. I've read a lot about cc and am aware of the controversies and the vast number of opinions on the subject. I have made an informed decision for my babies and me to commence sleep training this way,as I have tried gentler methods without much improvement. A resentful exhausted mother is not going to be any good to her babies.

    I am looking for real life positive stories to give myself some encouragement. I admit it has been hair-raising and heartbreaking at times, but given that I am starting to see some improvement, I am more than convinced I am on the right track. My babies are generally fussing less and seem better rested. And I can now start to enjoy their awake times with their smiles and chuckles.

    I am not looking for warnings from people who do not feel that cc/cio is for them.

    Thank you to the people who have been supportive.

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  7. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by lupa View Post
    Bubbles, what questions do you have? I really beg to differ. Dr Symon has been doing this for over 25 years with great success and not one baby (who are all adults now) has returned to him with complaints. He has done a lot of research on this and just because the "recommendations" state you shouldn't start till 6 months doesn't mean that's what right for your family. Recommendations IMO are a little behind and don't line up with what all the current research and evidence has to say. The "recommendation" for starting solids is 6 months too but there's evidence to suggest that we should be starting earlier. Did you know only 2% of babies in the UK are exclusively breastfed until 6 months? And their recommendation is 6 months... Let mums do what they want to do and for twins I can't imagine a harder task than to rock and pat and be up all night with not one but two!
    I don't have questions. i have read most of the website you linked, and found most of the advice/suggestions posted had no evidence to support that they were beneficial long term and in fact went against recommedations from most reputable organisations who do review their advice regularly based on actual research.

    I would encourage others to question whether the advice given makes sense and if it fits in with how they want to raise their kids.

    There are a number of alternatives to being up all night rocking and patting your kids. It doesn't sound like a fun thing to do. Lying with your baby and feeding them to sleep is one alternative, and this can be done with twins. I do agree that each parent has to find what they are comfortable with, it is much better for parent and child when parents are given accurate information so that their decisions can be imformed.

    Just as an example, the website you referred to discussed starting 'solids' as early as 2 months , however,

    The following organizations recommend that all babies be exclusively breastfed (no cereal, juice or any other foods) for the first 6 months of life (NOT the first 4-6 months):
    World Health Organization
    UNICEF
    American Academy of Pediatrics
    American Academy of Family Physicians
    Australian National Health and Medical Research Council
    Health Canada
    I know who i would rather listen to
    Last edited by Bubbles10; 07-05-2012 at 10:37.

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  9. #15
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    Somehow I don't think people truly understand.

    I have tried gentler alternatives. Feeding two babies to sleep is not exactly a habit I want to encourage either. I have tried very hard and was unable to maintain breastfeeding both babies. Co-sleeping did not work, neither baby has ever been able to fall asleep with me in my bed.

    I hope that I might be given some credit for knowing what information I would choose to utilise from such sites/books. I don't agree with EVERYTHING that is suggested in books/sites. I pick and choose what I think would be sensible and practical advice.

    There isn't an absolute right or wrong to any parenting method.

    But I don't wish this thread to become argumentative. So please, if you have messages or stories of support, I would greatly appreciate them. If you have cautionary tales, that is fine as well and I appreciate your concern, but that isn't what I am after right now.

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  11. #16
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    I did cc with my ds when he was 15 months old as we were all at our wits end with hours of rocking/patting/etc to sleep. We had amazing success within only a couple of days and I realised that we should have tried earlier.

    I have the luxury of a single bub for #2 and she settles quite easily. I put her in her cot & see if she sleeps and sometimes she does. If she doesn't she settles easily when I go in & rock. I don't think I'll have to do controlled crying as such with her, but I think it doesn't have much to do with what we've done differently as parents, much more to do with her personality. Parents with relaxed bubs like her just don't understand how difficult 'non-settlers' can be. I found settling my ds the most frustrating, upsetting, distressing, etc process and having to do it over & over again all day & night drove me to distraction. Having to do that for 2 bubs at the same time sounds horrific.

    My friend has twins & 2 older children. The reality is that her twins go down to sleep and if they don't sleep, they don't sleep. She simply cannot be in 4+ places at once. She never rocked/patted to sleep because she was simply too busy. I think that's often the reality when you have lots of kids and a busy life. If the baby cries you can't drop everything, every time and rush in there and rock/pat until the bub is asleep. So, there are plenty of little bubs out there who don't have their parents rush in the microsecond they make a little cry and I don't think they are damaged for life.

    As for feeding to sleep, well that makes me laugh. My ds fed to sleep for 2 weeks when he was 9 months old. Seriously. Any attempt to feed to sleep prior to that (except in the first 2 weeks when he had jaundice) failed dismally. Feeds woke the little rascal up! I remember wishing that he would just feed to sleep and when he did I thought it was the best thing ever ... then he stopped! grrr!

    For me, I wouldn't do 'proper' controlled crying before 6 months mostly due to the fact that I'm not sure that developmentally bubs understand that you will come back. BUT, that's not with twins. But, as you said you are seriously struggling and I feel your pain and I think whatever works to promote sleep for YOU and your bubs is the best thing for you. I hope things continue to improve

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  13. #17
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    I thought I'd put in an update for interested parties.

    Today is Day 11 into the sleep training process for my twinnies. I have been diligently keeping a log, so I can see if there has been any improvement.

    This is the original bedtime evening scenario before I started.

    6pm bring upstairs to nursery - brief sponge of hands/face/feet; change into PJs; turn on white noise machine and turn on night light; cuddle; bottle; burp; cuddle
    baby falls asleep in my arms; try to lay into cot - baby starts screaming; pick up again and rock; baby asleep; try putting into cot again; baby starts to yell; put in pacifier and have to hold it for her as she can't hang on with her mouth for more than a few seconds - sometimes end up holding it for 30 minutes; baby hears twin yelling in other room (for a while they were fed in separate rooms to try and minimise distraction) and starts crying in sympathy - start settling cycle all over again - baby finally asleep so creep out of room; within 1 hour baby awake again and have to come and pat/hold pacifier - now MULTIPLY EVERYTHING BY TWO.

    Tonight:
    5.45pm bring upstairs to nursery - brief sponge of hands/face/feet; change into PJs; turn on white noise machine and turn on night light; cuddle; bottle; burp; cuddle
    place baby in cot wide awake; a few pats on leg; kiss goodnight and tell baby I will see them in the morning and say good morning to them (night feeds don't count); night light out
    both twins now fed and settled in same room

    I sit in the nursery in the darkness and wait to see what they do. I can hear the sucking sounds of baby 1 sucking her thumb; I can also hear baby 2 rubbing the cot sheet (she likes rubbing bits of cloth for some reason). A few grizzly noises from baby 2.

    After 15 minutes, silence. Tiptoe over to peer into the cots. Both have gone to sleep.

    I turn off the fan but leave the white noise machine on. Pick up the empty bottles and used baby clothes and leave the room.

    I have never had dinner before 8pm. Such a novelty tonight.

    It has been an incredibly challenging road. And I hope and pray my babies are clever enough to learn to sleep on their own and that mummy loves them dearly.

    Naps however, are a little different. But I am sure that too, will improve with time.

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  15. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by prettydino View Post
    I thought I'd put in an update for interested parties.

    Today is Day 11 into the sleep training process for my twinnies. I have been diligently keeping a log, so I can see if there has been any improvement.

    This is the original bedtime evening scenario before I started.

    6pm bring upstairs to nursery - brief sponge of hands/face/feet; change into PJs; turn on white noise machine and turn on night light; cuddle; bottle; burp; cuddle
    baby falls asleep in my arms; try to lay into cot - baby starts screaming; pick up again and rock; baby asleep; try putting into cot again; baby starts to yell; put in pacifier and have to hold it for her as she can't hang on with her mouth for more than a few seconds - sometimes end up holding it for 30 minutes; baby hears twin yelling in other room (for a while they were fed in separate rooms to try and minimise distraction) and starts crying in sympathy - start settling cycle all over again - baby finally asleep so creep out of room; within 1 hour baby awake again and have to come and pat/hold pacifier - now MULTIPLY EVERYTHING BY TWO.

    Tonight:
    5.45pm bring upstairs to nursery - brief sponge of hands/face/feet; change into PJs; turn on white noise machine and turn on night light; cuddle; bottle; burp; cuddle
    place baby in cot wide awake; a few pats on leg; kiss goodnight and tell baby I will see them in the morning and say good morning to them (night feeds don't count); night light out
    both twins now fed and settled in same room

    I sit in the nursery in the darkness and wait to see what they do. I can hear the sucking sounds of baby 1 sucking her thumb; I can also hear baby 2 rubbing the cot sheet (she likes rubbing bits of cloth for some reason). A few grizzly noises from baby 2.

    After 15 minutes, silence. Tiptoe over to peer into the cots. Both have gone to sleep.

    I turn off the fan but leave the white noise machine on. Pick up the empty bottles and used baby clothes and leave the room.

    I have never had dinner before 8pm. Such a novelty tonight.

    It has been an incredibly challenging road. And I hope and pray my babies are clever enough to learn to sleep on their own and that mummy loves them dearly.

    Naps however, are a little different. But I am sure that too, will improve with time.
    Well Done!!!! That's a great progress , you must be so happy!
    Keep us posted how next few nights go

    Ps.. Was reading the part of how it use to be having a bit of a giggle, then got 2 big kicks and remembered that will be me in a few month :-/ hahah xx

  16. #19
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    Congratulations Prettydino!! I'm so happy for you..to have some relief from the awful sleep deprivation nightmare. My DD was a nightmare baby when it came to sleep..and I was a wreck when I decided, at about 5.5mths old to try CC (controlled comforting, in my case) with her..I just felt I could not survive another day of rocking, crying (me and her!), pacing and attempting to feeds her to sleep. Like you, I felt I had tried it all, with little success.

    The first few days were hard, but progressively I could see progress, and it was such a RELIEF. By about 2 weeks I could lay her down in her cot and the majority of the time she would go off to sleep with just a little patting. Don't mind those who don't agree with your methods..I am sure there are many, many mum's out there who have done what they needed to do to get their LO's to sleep. Sometimes I think, that the trauma of a week or so of implementing the method is much better than months and even years of crying, sleepless nights and unhappiness...

    With my subsequent children, I was much smarter, and very gently encouraged my newbie to settle without having to always be in my arms. They were much, much better sleepers, happier and more contented, rested bubbas... none of them ever slept through the night til about 1, that wasn't my aim, but they did go off to sleep without the hours of rocking etc.

    Anyway, once again, congrats and may your night be quiet and peaceful! Enjoy a few minutes for yourself, you deserve it!

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  18. #20
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    That is so wonderful to hear Prettydino! And just know that you have thought them such an important skill in life... For them to be able to feel secure and comfortable with themselves enough to put themselves to sleep happily on their own will set them up to feel secure and confident in other areas too. We'll done, and and I'm sure you're feeling so much better with that extra time on your hands x


 

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