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  1. #1
    Zombie_eyes's Avatar
    Zombie_eyes is offline Formerly Diamondeyes
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    Default The blame game

    My almost three year old is pretty clumsy, clumsier than most toddlers due to sensory processing disorder (vestibular probs) anywho..he crashes into things a lot, falls over a lot. And even the slightest knock he claims hurts him.

    So now he has started blaming me! If he falls (i wont even be in the room) he starts yelling mum! You hurt me! You hurt me! Lol what! He has started blaming his father too. And while its kinda amusing, about 25 times a day the neighbours are hearing a small child scream that his parents are hurting him!

    How do i stop this? I say "you fell over, mummy didnt hurt you" but the defiance of the terrible 2's comes straight back with an even louder "NO! YOU HURT ME" with tears! *glares*


    We arent even a smacking family!! And im being accused!!! By my own toddler!!!

    Advice?

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    Oh that's awful

    It sounds like he is frustrated with himself, poor little man.

    I'm not sure what I'd do in that situation, but it sounds like you need to jump in it before he starts telling other people that it's you hurting him.

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    No advice, I'm sorry, but I can sympathise. My Dd is the same. Its just gotten better this year now she's 6. I used to cringe with embarrassment wondering what the neighbours must think of me.

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    I haven't been in this situation, but if you haven't already maybe a chat, book or tv show about accidents might help, perhaps he just thinks that if he is hurt it must be someone's fault?

    Good luck

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    OJandMe is offline I am the strength my children will have.
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    I'm so sorry for laughing... but I couldn't help giggling at your last sentence...

    Just wondering.... when he hurts himself, do you (or do those around him or have contact with him) say things like "Oh did you hurt yourself?"

    Because he could be translating those messages as literal as in.. HE actually hurt HIMSELF, rather than it being an accident. and then because he knows he didn't... he could be projecting it onto the nearest person... (as in, well if I didn't, someone else must have)

    Perhaps changing the language around him to be very concise as to what actually DID happen as in : "OUCH, banging into a door must have hurt your head" "tripping over bumped your knee on the ground" "Swinging on your chair made it fall over, and now your head has been bumped. That would hurt!"

    Maybe that would make him more able to verbalise what actually HAS hurt him..

    suggestion only

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    My nephew has been doing the exact same thing lol!

    I suggested getting one of those little ice packs that are in the shape of a dinosaur or a smiley face from the chemist, then tell him if HE hurts himself say 'mummy I hurt my xyzzy' and you can get the ice pack for him to 'fix' the pain.

    It seems to be working for them???

  7. #7
    Zombie_eyes's Avatar
    Zombie_eyes is offline Formerly Diamondeyes
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    Lol hehe. Yeah i thought my last line was a bit dramatic haha


    Thank you everyone, all good advice

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    Oh that must feel awful for you. I'm not sure I have any useful advice other than to redirect the blame. Perhaps you could say " oh naughty, naughty wxyz" for hurting DS, and keep your tone animated. I hope you can come up with a solution soon!

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    Thank you

    I think i will definitely try giving him some new vocab about it and try to redirect the blame to the object (sometimes he falls over just from standing still lol so..haha )

    Will ask speechy about it as well.

    Funny little thing, no doubt its only the first of many things poor ol mum will be blamed for in his lifetime!


 

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