Why do some people have babies at all??

**peanuthead** · 05-05-2012 19:50

Has everyone missed the point where the OP stated the baby had been to the doctors suffering from the ill affects of its mothers drinking? Did I imagine that part? That, in my opinion, IS abuse! And surely this doctor would be OBLIGATED to report what he saw.
I'm not saying these are terrible parents, they may very well be uneducated and clearly in need of help. I don't necessarily believe that they should have the baby taken away from them either. But a single report to DoCS will not result in that anyway. It MIGHT raise a red flag and get this family the help/education it needs.

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**Annabella** · 05-05-2012 20:41

I don't think anyone is condoning taking drugs/drinking to excess- then breast feeding. What we're saying us none if us possibly know enough about this situation or these people to make a judgement like that they should have their children taken away, that they are dipsh!ts, that she's addicted to drugs, that she used cocaine throughout her pregnancy etc. we just don't know.

I thik the best solution would be to discuss it WITH them before calling DOCS. In my experience, they'd get a lot more help, education, support from caring friends than they've ever get from DOCS.

**Annabella** · 05-05-2012 20:49

Eta: OP since you actually heard the story first hand, I think it's good you are concerned, yet not jumping to conclusions.

Also the amount of alcohol that actually gets passed to a baby when breast feeding is minimal, unless she's feeding and drinking a lot at the same time, but if she drinks that night and feeds baby in the morning the baby probably won't actually get much alcohol at all. To the point that it is NOT recommended to put a baby on formula so you can have a few drinks as the benefits of bf outweigh the risks of the tiny amount of alcohol that will pass onto baby. The bigger worry is the ability to care for a baby under the influence. So I guess, if she drinks while baby is at grandma's and picks her up the next day and breast feeds, it's prob ok. If she's getting smashed while she's holding her baby and feeding her, it's a bit more of a worry.

**sajimum** · 05-05-2012 20:53

I would have thought that the dr would be mandated to report seeing a baby affected by alcohol?!? I agree that drinking/drug taking then breastfeeding isnt great and Think DOCs should be informed - whether or not the follow up is then up to them.I dont see a child safety issue in people having their kids looked after by others while out partying if they arent breastfeeding soon afterwards.

**Boobycino** · 06-05-2012 07:36

Originally Posted by Annabella

Now there's an idea!!!! You always come up with such logical solutions to social problems! I love how compassionate you are and the ability you have to try and see things from others' perspectives

I read it as heavy sarcasm in response to children should be removed from judgemental people.

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**peanuthead** · 06-05-2012 07:43

Originally Posted by Annabella

Eta: OP since you actually heard the story first hand, I think it's good you are concerned, yet not jumping to conclusions.

Also the amount of alcohol that actually gets passed to a baby when breast feeding is minimal, unless she's feeding and drinking a lot at the same time, but if she drinks that night and feeds baby in the morning the baby probably won't actually get much alcohol at all. To the point that it is NOT recommended to put a baby on formula so you can have a few drinks as the benefits of bf outweigh the risks of the tiny amount of alcohol that will pass onto baby. The bigger worry is the ability to care for a baby under the influence. So I guess, if she drinks while baby is at grandma's and picks her up the next day and breast feeds, it's prob ok. If she's getting smashed while she's holding her baby and feeding her, it's a bit more of a worry.

Quite clearly she is drinking enough to effect the baby or at least she was. There is NO excuse for that. I cant believe so many of you would defend that!
The baby is only 2 weeks old yea? And i'd assume still feeding regularly even overnight. And the husband of this woman has bragged that his wife regularly has 9 alcoholic drinks then feeds the baby. I can't imagine that would be healthier than putting the baby on formula.
I'm sorry, i'm just still baffled that people can defend those actions.

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**Ishtyban** · 06-05-2012 08:11

it highlights how there is not enough education there is.

call the drug and alcohol
line and get some info sent out and hand it to the dad.

**Annabella** · 06-05-2012 09:06

I'm not defending her exposing her baby to alcohol, I'm defending her right to not be called names and gave assumptions made about her by complete strangers who know nothing about her or the situation. I wouldn't have even bothered replying except that I felt it was wrong of people to call her a drug addict and say she wouldve been doing drugs through her pregnancy.
I'm just speaking from the position if someone who does know people who very very occasionally have a night out when the kids are at grandma's and might take an illegal drug in that night. They are not addicte to drugs, dipsh!ts, exposing their to anything harmful, they are not on 'benders'. They are good loving parents.

As for the drinking, again, baby has slept overnight away from mum so I don't know if that's the case when she regularly (in 2 weeks?) drinks 8-9 beers, maybe she 'then' feeds the child in the morning, we don't know.

As far as I can see, no-one has defended her hurting her baby, we've just said the judgement without knowing the facts is disgusting.

**Amiedoll** · 06-05-2012 12:01

This particular mother is exposing her child to harmful substances Annabella, as evidenced by the child getting ill from the mothers drinking. A quick google search told me that cocaine can stay in the bloodstream for up to 72 hours, if she is breast feeding the next day then she is also exposing her child to cocaine. This is terribly selfish and irresponsible.

She obviously needs help dealing with substance abuse and she needs education on the effects of alcohol and drugs on her child. I don't think the baby should immediately be taken away unless this behaviour continues but a visit from docs might wake her up, they can also provide information and help.

I just hope there is no lasting damage to the baby from this. It is incredibly sad but she could very well be causing damage that the baby will have to live with for the rest of their life, including damage to their immune system, mental delays and learning disabilities, and a whole host of other truly terrible things.

While name calling and conjecture about her behaviour during pregnancy is ultimately pointless I think most people are just outraged and saddened by the risk of danger this mother is putting her newborn in. Children and childcare is a emotional topic and it really should be

**Atropos** · 06-05-2012 12:49

Originally Posted by VicPark

Hmmmm. Perhaps OP should wait until next time the kids aren't home, gamble that there will be dugs at the home... Then dob them in?

It doesn't work that way. The police cannot come in search the house without permission or a warrant. Saying a third party thinks there might be drugs in the house (total hearsay) isn't enough to justify a warrant. Police would have to go there and make an assessment of whoever opened the door (if they even opened it) and proceed from there. Even big drug busts on dealers and manufacturers require warrants, they can't just march in and search homes like on american tv shows.
OP- it can't hurt to report to DOCs for record purposes. But keep in mind this guy your DH works with could be full of it too. People lie all the time. I don't know why one would about such a thing but it happens. Unless you have hard evidence, I'd be reluctant to do too much more than MAYBE speaking to DOCs- what if this guy is a compulsive liar? Who knows.