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  1. #1
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    Default Very recent ex threatening suicide

    I've just broken up with my partner of ten years. Nothing in particular happened, I just realised I was sacrificing my own happiness for the sake of trying to make a relationship work.

    Today I ended up with over twenty messages from him, bad mouthing me but also threatening suicide. I completely ignored him, because too many times I have let him emotionally guilt me into staying in a crappy situation.

    What I'm wondering is, what do I do? Do I ignore it, or what?

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    Yes, you ignore it! Don't touch it with a 10ft pole even.
    You are not responsible for his actions, and people who commit suicide very rarely actually tell people they are going to do it. This is a cry for attention, trying to manipulate you into staying. Don't go there.
    My ex did this to me every single time I tried to leave. My own mother to this day still threatens to throw herself in front of a bus if she doesn't get her own way (one of her colleagues got so sick of it she offered my mother the bus time table, lol). If they were serious they would just do it instead of threaten it.
    It's hard though, it really does make you second guess your actions, but just remind yourself YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS ACTIONS, and never will be.

    If it'll make you feel better, may e get someone else to keep an eye on him.

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    HugsBunny is offline Once upon a time there was a bunny.........
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    Contact one of his family members or close friends and let them know that he's threatened suicide. They can keep an eye on him then.

    Power to you btw for making a difficult choice. We only get one life and we deserve to be happy.

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    I would tell his mum or someone close to him if you are still amicable with them. That way, you have let someone know, but you don't have to have contact with him.

    If he was genuine about his threat, you would feel terrible not telling anyone, but if you tell someone your concerns, they could help without you having to be in touch with him.

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    Yes, contact family if possible, if you wish to try and help him simply tell him that his actions are his choice, Lifeline, the CATT team, or men's help lines are the ones to contact, not you.

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    Thanks guys. It really does seem like its his attempt to manipulate me, like I said, there were over twenty messages as well as five or more missed calls. They alternated between angry at me, suicidal, and apologetic but I was choosing not to reply.

    I would hate for it to happen, but like u said B&B it wouldn't be my fault.

    I might shoot his step mum an email to let her know, things are a little awkward at the moment.

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    Good girl, awkward or not it's your way to wash your hands of his issues, which are HIS issues, you are in no way responsible for his state of mind, you've been great. Even if they call him or drop in it may give him the chance to vent, talk things out, which it sounds like he needs.

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    I just gave his brother a call and told him that he's threatened to kill himself... His brothers response "I will keep an eye on him but you know what he is like, he is just trying to hurt you"

    At least I'm not the only one who can see this.

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    So the fallout has been me being called out by him on facebook for worrying his family.

    Gah, why is it so difficult!

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    That's awesome his brother understands.

    Have you still got him on FB?


 

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