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  1. #41
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    Straight away. We had a premmie in hospital for the first 5 1/2 weeks of his little life, so we both spent every day learning the ropes of parenthood together. By the time we got DS home we were both competent and totally ready to care for boy.

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    Straight away!

  3. #43
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    Didn't realise my thread, asking for helpful experiences from other mums, would result in a spin off thread full of posts making me feel like crap about not having left my dd with dh yet. Not sure if that was the intention of starting this spin off or not, but regardless, this is how it has made me feel.

    I've been a long time visitor of Bubhub and reading all your posts has always offered me some level of comfort knowing that other mums go through the same thing I do at times. I have only actually joined and started posting very recently and the thread that resulted in this spin off thread was my first ever plea for advice/help.. and now I can confidently say it was definately my last!

  4. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mummy2MJ View Post
    Didn't realise my thread, asking for helpful experiences from other mums, would result in a spin off thread full of posts making me feel like crap about not having left my dd with dh yet. Not sure if that was the intention of starting this spin off or not, but regardless, this is how it has made me feel.

    I've been a long time visitor of Bubhub and reading all your posts has always offered me some level of comfort knowing that other mums go through the same thing I do at times. I have only actually joined and started posting very recently and the thread that resulted in this spin off thread was my first ever plea for advice/help.. and now I can confidently say it was definately my last!
    i really dont think it was intended to make you feel that way.

  5. #45
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    I did not read your original thread and know nothing of it or your question.

    I am of the opinion that in most cases, a spin off to is separate an issue of curiosity from the original thread/poster that triggered the idea. I dont believe that this spin off was directed at you in any way.

  6. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mummy2MJ View Post
    Didn't realise my thread, asking for helpful experiences from other mums, would result in a spin off thread full of posts making me feel like crap about not having left my dd with dh yet. Not sure if that was the intention of starting this spin off or not, but regardless, this is how it has made me feel.

    I've been a long time visitor of Bubhub and reading all your posts has always offered me some level of comfort knowing that other mums go through the same thing I do at times. I have only actually joined and started posting very recently and the thread that resulted in this spin off thread was my first ever plea for advice/help.. and now I can confidently say it was definately my last!
    I'm sorry you feel that way. I certainly didn't start this thread to make you feel like crap, I started it because it was obvious from people's responses in your thread that people dealt with this issue differently from one another. One of the things that I like about bubhub is that it opens your eyes to the fact that everyone does things differently, and I find it interesting to explore that and broaden my thinking/understanding. I thought that I had done it in a way that asked for people's experiences without judgement, and I certainly don't judge anyone for not leaving their baby with their partner or others early on. That being said, obviously I didn't take into account the fact that you were feeling quite sensitive about this and that you might feel like it was my sole intention to make you feel bad. For that I apologise.

  7. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mummy2MJ View Post
    Didn't realise my thread, asking for helpful experiences from other mums, would result in a spin off thread full of posts making me feel like crap about not having left my dd with dh yet. Not sure if that was the intention of starting this spin off or not, but regardless, this is how it has made me feel.

    I've been a long time visitor of Bubhub and reading all your posts has always offered me some level of comfort knowing that other mums go through the same thing I do at times. I have only actually joined and started posting very recently and the thread that resulted in this spin off thread was my first ever plea for advice/help.. and now I can confidently say it was definately my last!
    I didn't see your thread, just went and found it now but I'm so sorry to see you're feeling bad I left DS1 with DH while I went out at night for two hours when DS1 was about four months old but it was a disaster.
    I could read bubs cues better than he could and with DS2 it's much the same. DH is a great dad and fantastic with DS1 now that he's older. He's also great with DS2 but aside from a short walk (think 20min) or cuddling him for a nap or while I have a shower I have no plans to leave 5.5month old DS2 for a longer period anytime soon. Doesn't mean he's not a good daddy, just means everyone is different. Don't feel bad at all, I'd feel exactly like you do.

    I'd suggest feeding your bub and getting your DH to practice putting them to sleep while you're home, then when he's got the hang of that (may be easier than you think. I know DS2 falls asleep easily at night for DH even though Id usually feed him to sleep) get him to offer a bottle too. Apart from that just try to relax about the routine going out the window that particular night as long as bub is happy.

    Hugs - don't let anyone else make you feel bad. You sound like a great mum

  8. #48
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    My bub was well over 6 months I would say probably 8 months and it had nothin to do with my husbands abilities, I just had NO desire or need to be without my baby. I don't think it's weird or unusual at all

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  10. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mummy2MJ View Post
    Didn't realise my thread, asking for helpful experiences from other mums, would result in a spin off thread full of posts making me feel like crap about not having left my dd with dh yet. Not sure if that was the intention of starting this spin off or not, but regardless, this is how it has made me feel.

    I've been a long time visitor of Bubhub and reading all your posts has always offered me some level of comfort knowing that other mums go through the same thing I do at times. I have only actually joined and started posting very recently and the thread that resulted in this spin off thread was my first ever plea for advice/help.. and now I can confidently say it was definately my last!
    I too really dont think it was meant that way - A spin off is usually done to avoid de-railing a thread with a specific question. You asked abouleaving bubs for the first time with partners as to how old with the point of support that you didnt... am I right? well this one asks how old if you did really early. It wasnt against you - I too was surprised by the number of people who didnt leave their bubs with the partners early in the piece but didnt want to say anything in case I upset you - the OP

    I am happy to say that DH is great with DD and I had no qualms going back to work PT when DD was 10wks old cos he was there. I left her with my mum/MIL for a few hours before then as well but was within a phone call distance cos I BF. But happily left DD with my mum for 10hrs when she was 12wks old for a wedding as I had introduced bottles by then and I had EBM in the freezer.

    But I will honestly say that for the first 6wks DD was never further away than upstairs and I was downstairs cos she was a random feeder. But once I could predict her feeds I started going out without her for brief periods.

    Not wanting to leave your DD with your DP doesnt make you a bad mother nor does leaving babies with partners/parents. Each one does what suits them. I am really sorry you felt maligned.

  11. #50
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    Never with my first DH did I leave the kids alone with him (for very good reasons though). With my second DH it was just after I left hospital and had an appointment.


 
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