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  1. #11
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    Well i ended up confronting him and his response was "i had a brain faze no idea why i done it" I was ready to give him another shot but his response was totally pathetic i think he actually thinks it is me with the issue. He was hardly phased by any of it so I ended up hurling insults and now he is just plain angry. He says that he has only done it a few times (over a period of years) and denies adding some of these dodos as contacts (though i have seen it). He says it was just photos and i should get over it. Like i said to him i dont think i would have cared if it was porn but he was specifically looking at other women adding them as contacts (even though through his account i saw he had not been in contact with them). Weeks before we were just having a convo about divorce etc etc and he blatantly lied to my face "honey you know me i am not the kind of guy who goes around looking at other women thats not me" its the lying which peeves me. Now when i look back i keep thinking about all those times you know when you think hmmm yep I guessed it a total perver on my hands. I have made the other bed up and am seriously thinking about the future but i want whats best for the boys. I dont feel like i am being over the top but then i just dont know about anything anymore

  2. #12
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    It is a very confusing time having just gone through it myself and so I understand what your going through. For me the deceit had gone on for far too long to the point where I lost all trust and couldn't continue the relationship. I think you need to ask yourself if it's something you can forgive and if it is I would suggest counseling for you both or even for him on his own to get the core of the problem. In my experience my husband couldn't control the urge. To him it was just fantasy but to me it was utter betrayal.
    One thing to remember is his decision to do this is his alone and has nothing to do with no wanting you or you not being good enough. I battled with this initially myself but I now realise it's just a selfish act.
    Him reacting the way he did when you confronted him is his way of deflecting the blame of himself and just causes you to doubt yourself. Stay strong and take some time out to work out if the relationship is worth fighting for or not. Take care and feel free to PM me if you ever need to.

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    jennyfish  (01-06-2012)

  4. #13
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    Thanks i will take you up on that offeri know it feels so painful and like you say a total betrayal. I guess i believed him when he said that was it last time i thought we had something above and beyond i know its corny maybe naive and now i just dont know i do know i will always begrudge him for it. I just dont think he could stop maybe for a while then start again maybe it is just a man thing that is impossible to stop he believes 95 percent of men are worse pffft watever im just over it i do still love him but at the same time i dont want to.Yep like you say i kept thinking it is me and my body as i have just had a little one but i know he still wants me but just extra as well i suppose. At first he would deny looking at them and then when he finally agreed yes hed been looking and oh well im just a male it really killed the fact that he is not denying it anymore .He says wee are his life there is nothing left for him without us and yes he is a caring husband apart from this obviously lol but that does not mean i can just accept this.

  5. #14
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    well just an update not long ago i thought to have a squizzy at a regular online psychic discussion within another childrens forum and i asked wether the lying and online stuff would stop she said no and the ultimatim would not work either i was a bit shocked has anyone ever followed through with the advice from a psychic?

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    tatia&shura  (01-06-2012)

  7. #15
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    It's really up to you!
    In your heart do you think you could be happy again or are you always going to wonder what he's up to and if he is going behind your back or not.

    Sometimes things can improve if your both understanding of the situation.
    maybe he thinks it is just po+n to him because he doesnt know any of these women?
    Maybe he doesnt think its any different as long as he doesnt go any futher than looking?
    He could just be hiding it because he knows it hurts your feelings and makes you feel insecure when he looks .

    But there may already be too much hurt and too much damage to be able to move forward from things this time.

    You need to do whats right for you!


    Sent from my GT-I9000 using BubHub

  8. #16
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    Could you sit him down to discuss how all of this is making you feel? I would hope that your feelings are worth more than him getting off. He is right there are guys out there who are doing far worse but that doesn't justify his behaviour and besides there are plenty of guys out there not doing any of this at all!!!
    If you both love each other and you both want to make this relationship work then I think you will need to work on the trust issue. However If your the only one fighting for it, then I can't see how it can work.
    The thing I worried about was where was it all leading. My gut tells me it starts of innocent but never ends that way unless a stop is put to it.


 

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