I dont know what it is or what triggered it but I hate meeting up with my friends (or whoever Ive got left) and family, I drink and cry myself to sleep every night after DH has gone to bed. So relieved MIL is overseas atm (because I live witg her). Ive also started smoking again even though I hate it and its a disgusting habit. Pleaseplease dont judge me because Ive noticed majority of BHers seem very against smoking. I get all the important things done around the house but stuff like folding clothes I just leave on the sofa. I try and go out with DD to distract myself and not think too much. How did I end up like this? I feel so frustrated for no reason. Whats wrong with me? I also have no appetite but eat because I know I should. Like tonight for instance I cooked 2 minute noodles and sat on the kitchen floor and fed DD some dinner at the same time. I think I ate maybe half? Anyway I was thinking about talking to a doctor about it but it sounds so stupid and it doesnt seem like a big issue compared to others. Yeah I think Im done now. Might go have a hot shower while DD naps. Sorry to everyone who reads this. Its a waste of time.
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