DS 20 months has gone with his daddy today, and the look of happiness on his face when daddy showed up to pick him up made me happy for him, but also had me feeling a little disappointed that my family is such a mess and mostly absent while ex-DP's family are so close and fun for DS to be around.
He has so much fun with his Dads family - I myself still have a great relationship with ex-DP's parents/family but obviously I'm not exactly part of the family anymore. They're a very loving and close family and spend a lot of time together. DS sees his Dad once a fortnight and just whenever he can pop around during work hours to visit him. But he has a great time with the family and it's great for him.
I hate that I can't give him that - we have fun together and have little picnics at the park and I try to take him out to parks/playgrounds etc and he does enjoy it and I know he loves his Mummy so much, but my family just aren't around, and is so detached and hopeless. People don't visit much anymore and I hate so much that I can't give him a great family experience like ex-DP can.
My biggest fear is that DS decides he loves daddy and that side of his family more than me and wants to spend more and more time with them. It's a terrible thought that eats me up inside! One of the biggest reasons I have decided to start 'dating' again at this point is so I can buid a nice loving family environment for DS so that he has that here as well as there....
Can anyone relate to this??