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  1. #81
    Witwicky's Avatar
    Witwicky is offline A closed mouth gathers no foot.
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    There are safer ways to encourage independence.

    Not allowing a young child to play alone in a shopping centre playground, unsupervised, with their even younger sibling in tow, is not helicopter parenting.

    The media play on the stories of missing children - of course they do. It's the media. What's scary is the amount of stories which you DON'T hear. Stories which I have heard myself, which mean I will never, ever risk placing my child in a situation which could lead to their harm. Statistically, the risk might be low. But any risk is too high for me regarding these issues.

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  3. #82
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    Quote Originally Posted by Witwicky View Post
    There are safer ways to encourage independence.

    Not allowing a young child to play alone in a shopping centre playground, unsupervised, with their even younger sibling in tow, is not helicopter parenting.

    The media play on the stories of missing children - of course they do. It's the media. What's scary is the amount of stories which you DON'T hear. Stories which I have heard myself, which mean I will never, ever risk placing my child in a situation which could lead to their harm. Statistically, the risk might be low. But any risk is too high for me regarding these issues.
    Agree!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Witwicky View Post
    There are safer ways to encourage independence.

    Not allowing a young child to play alone in a shopping centre playground, unsupervised, with their even younger sibling in tow, is not helicopter parenting.

    The media play on the stories of missing children - of course they do. It's the media. What's scary is the amount of stories which you DON'T hear. Stories which I have heard myself, which mean I will never, ever risk placing my child in a situation which could lead to their harm. Statistically, the risk might be low. But any risk is too high for me regarding these issues.
    Exactly! The playground sign here states clearly that the playground is designed for 4 to 12 year olds and that children must be supervised at all times. I've sat at bunnings with children who are upset and want their mum, only for the mum to take a further 20 minutes after being called then becoming upset that some stranger was holding the distressed child. No thanks, rules are in place for a reason. I was the same with my little bro who is in his early 20s and has been going to sydney, brisbane, melbourne, etc alone for years, he works full time, lives on acreage, can hold his own in a brutal situation so I have confidence dd will be ok too.

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  6. #84
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    What I find insteresting is that most, if not all, of the people who say yes they would do it don't have children of these ages. I remember DH used to talk about how he had a key to the house at 6, and how he was allowed to run around the streets until dark and how he was going to be a 'free range' parent. Yeah, now we have a six year old and he won't even leave her out in the front yard to play by herself for any longer than it takes him to run inside and quickly grab something he needs (and I mean quickly), and he gets her to come inside the (ungated) fence too. If he is going to be longer than a minute he either asks her to come back inside, or he asks me to watch her.
    My children are not dependent...my children are actually very independent kids for their ages. If keeping my children away from dangers they aren't equipped to handle makes me a helicopter parent then I'll proudly wear that label. There's a big difference between keeping your children safe from danger (all dangers..go back and ready my post on my 6 year old being knocked unconscious at the park a few weeks ago..I'm not just talking stranger type dangers) and denying them any chances in life to gain independency skills. To make the two mutually exclusive is nuts. Heck, a major shopping centre in QLD went in to lockdown today after two people were shot out the front...now imagine you were seperated from your six year old while that went down... Or imagine if a fire alarm went off and you went to get your child and they had got out and gone to look for you when other parents had taken their kids out. It's an awful feeling to lose your child in a calm, relaxed setting...I couldn't imagine how horrible it would feel to have lost youe child in a high stress situation like that.

    to rest my case, all of the shopping places around here that have free standing playgrounds have signs on them to say they children must be supervised by an adult. The children who aren't end up with security guards searching for their parents. I haven't been around when they've been found but but obviousy if security guards are out looking for you to come and get your kid then it's not acceptable to do so, even if you personally feel there is nothing wrong with it.
    Last edited by Areca; 29-04-2012 at 07:04.

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    You know, the whole "OMG PAEDOPHILE!" thing can be considered hysteria or whatever... but kids can make silly decisions based on the fact that they're kids... it doesn't have to be leaving with a stranger... it could be one child holding the gate open so your two can wander out... to god knows where.

    One could jump off something because other kids are doing it and fall and break an arm. Someone could walk in front of a swing and get a kick to the face. There might be fighting, and your kid could be involved. Heck, BOTH of your kids could be involved with nobody to step in and sort it out. A wasp might sting one of them. One of them might have a desperate urge to pee and pee their pants (or do something else).

    I'd rather be there to protect my kids from that. At those young ages, they should be being taught a little self-sufficiency, I agree... but that's things like getting themselves breakfast, unpacking their school bag when they get home, figuring out how to spend their freetime without nagging Mum for options. Not being flung into a public playground and left to their own devices.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Witwicky View Post
    There are safer ways to encourage independence.

    Not allowing a young child to play alone in a shopping centre playground, unsupervised, with their even younger sibling in tow, is not helicopter parenting.

    The media play on the stories of missing children - of course they do. It's the media. What's scary is the amount of stories which you DON'T hear. Stories which I have heard myself, which mean I will never, ever risk placing my child in a situation which could lead to their harm. Statistically, the risk might be low. But any risk is too high for me regarding these issues.
    Couldn't have said it better myself!!

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    I agree! If keeping my child safe is regarded as helicopter parenting then you can tell me I'm a helicopter parent all day long!! Unfortunately we live in a world with way too many sickos. It would be nice to live in a world where it would be safe to do these things but it's just not!! If anything ever happened you would never forgive yourself!!

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    I was still making my brother use the disabled toilet with me outside at 16 because he was still puny and did not have the physical strength to ward off an attacker, he was using the male toilets all on his own unsupervised by the time he became an adult. At 15 I still told him to get things quickly from other parts of a supermarket and would wait for him. I was still dropping him off/picking him up at the movies until late teens yet he still grew to become a responsible adult. Well, childish, but that's his age group now whether they grew up wrapped in cotton wool or left to raise themselves.

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    Quote Originally Posted by share a book View Post
    I was still making my brother use the disabled toilet with me outside at 16 because he was still puny and did not have the physical strength to ward off an attacker, he was using the male toilets all on his own unsupervised by the time he became an adult. At 15 I still told him to get things quickly from other parts of a supermarket and would wait for him. I was still dropping him off/picking him up at the movies until late teens yet he still grew to become a responsible adult. Well, childish, but that's his age group now whether they grew up wrapped in cotton wool or left to raise themselves.
    Toilets scare the cr@p out of me - there was a little girl who was maybe 7 (?) so very close to DD's age and I'm sketchy on the details but her father was outside the toilets while she was violated and murdered.

    One of my ground rules at home (sport/social days as mentioned in a PP) is come and get me or another mum/friend when you want to go to the toilet.
    I feel very lucky to live in a village.

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    Quote Originally Posted by misskittyfantastico View Post
    Toilets scare the cr@p out of me - there was a little girl who was maybe 7 (?) so very close to DD's age and I'm sketchy on the details but her father was outside the toilets while she was violated and murdered.

    One of my ground rules at home (sport/social days as mentioned in a PP) is come and get me or another mum/friend when you want to go to the toilet.
    I feel very lucky to live in a village.
    yup that was in perth - her grandfather and brother (from memory?) walked her to the end of the toilet area (hall??) and waited there, she never came back out it was a truly horrible story

    I would probably describe myself as a helicopter parent, only the most trusted friends are ever asked to watch my children - I'm very protective, but I'm slightly less protective now that they are both very verbal and able to tell me anything that might happen/ scare them.

    I will NOT allow my children to wander away from me at the shops - both boys know that they are not 'safe' if I can not see them...


 

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