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  1. #161
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    Quote Originally Posted by FearlessLeader View Post
    Same, Annabella. There seems to be this misconception that free range parents are just going to 'throw their kids' in.the playground and go shopping all day. All that was said was that yes, we would leave 2 children, aged 5 and 7, in an enclosed space where we could see them through a window, for maybe 20 minutes. I don't see how that's neglect. Of course I will have boundaries for my kids, like my parents did for us. We were allowed to roam, but only in pairs or more, and to each other's houses, the shops or the playground but not elsewhere. We were given freedom and trust and responsibilty, and when things went wrong we would run and get an adult.
    And I stand by my 'school kids aren't supervised' comment. In my work I walk into lots of schools. Every single one of them has the front gate wide open. If I've been at recess I have always seen 50 kids before I see one teacher (and usually i don't even see the teacher on.yard duty as i'm going straight to the office) . It may be different at little country schools or some private schools, but the vast majority of Australian children are effectively unsupervised every day for at least an hour, and very little ever goes wrong. Our kids are far more responsible than we give them credit for.

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    I hate the fact that people can walk into a school without first registering and walking through a reception area. That's what we had at my primary school in the UK. All doors were locked after every break except a double door to the main reception area. You walked through those doors and were instantly on camera. You walked up to a counter and had to state who you were and why you were here before they then buzzed you through yet another set of doors and into the school.


    Over here they just don't have anything like that. Schools are a lot more relaxed and I hate it.

    Their idea of security is telling the children 'if you see anyone suspicious roaming round the school that you do not recognise, tell a teacher immediately.' Yeah nice one..that'l really help.

    I am a parent who is over protective, I know I am. I HATE the fact that there are only a few teachers on duty at lunchtimes, that they are allowed to go to the toilet during lesson times on their own, that they are allowed to play by the fence a few inches from the pavement outside of the school, that there is only a flimsy fence separating my daughter from the rest of the world, that parents or other adults don't have to immediately report to the office when they walk into the school, that the school is so open and gates are not always locked during the day....I hate all these things, but I know there isn't much I can do about them. I cannot homeschool my daughter...I know I have to let her go to school and be in situations I cannot control. I worry about her constantly.
    But they are risks I have no control over. Leaving her in a playground for half an hour is something I do have control over. So when I am able to minimise the risk of something happening to her, I will do it.


    I would be interested to know if the parents who would allow their child to play in the play area whilst they did a bit of shopping would also allow their child to run to the public toilets in a supermarket on their own...

  2. #162
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    Kids at our school are very protected.

  3. #163
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    FearlessLeader is offline Winner 2013 - Most Memorable Thread
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    Nope, I would not allow my child to use a public toilet by themselves at 5 and 7. The playground for me is fine because I can see them and there are plenty of people about.

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  5. #164
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    Quote Originally Posted by GothChick View Post
    I would be interested to know if the parents who would allow their child to play in the play area whilst they did a bit of shopping would also allow their child to run to the public toilets in a supermarket on their own...
    Not alone, but with another and a mobile phone, yes. Ages are taken into account also - basically I would like the two ages to add up to at least 15 years - so a 5yo would need a 10yo to accompany them, but two 8yo's could go together.

    I'm not comfortable about my 18yo going alone, but but have tentatively allowed her to go by herself (with a mobile phone) from about 15yo. My 13yo thinks I am crazy not letting her go to the toilet by herself.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FearlessLeader View Post
    I am genuinely interested to hear some reasons why people are more afraid of stranger danger than car accidents. Can you not see it's irrational?

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    But I'm not MORE scared of strangers than car accidents. I'm just as worried about car accidents and I do whatever I can to reduce the risks. Car seats, safe car, drive as safely as possible.
    Likewise, I try to reduce the risk of abduction or molestation. I don't let them go to the toilets alone, and I won't let them play in the park alone.
    Reading the stories here about what could happen to them (not only abduction but also injury/ fights/ lockdowns/ fire alarms) when I was not around actually make me feel ill.

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    I remember going to our local tavern for lunch and taking my 3 year old before becoming pregnant. My partner and I ordered food and we got a table right at the door of the playground. It wasn't busy but there was a group of mums there letting their children play too. Now while I didn't take my eye off my son and was constantly getting up to open the door and speak to him. The other mums walked off to order and just left their kids playing (no older than four)... And they all seemed quite "affluent"... Freaked me out! I thought what because I'm watching my son I've got to watch your kids too? Of course if anything happend I would have told them but it was a bit rude just expecting a stranger to keep an eye out!
    Last edited by Musiclovingmum; 30-04-2012 at 09:45.

  9. #167
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    Zombie_eyes is offline Formerly Diamondeyes
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    Ur schools gate is closed after 9am and you have to be buzzed in

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    Quote Originally Posted by DiamondEyes View Post
    Ur schools gate is closed after 9am and you have to be buzzed in
    That's cool. I wish ours was like that. It'l take a kid being abducted from our school before they do anything.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Musiclovingmum View Post
    The other mums walked off to order and just left their kids playing (no older than four)... And they all seemed quite "affluent"... Freaked me out! I thought what because I'm watching my son I've got to watch your kids too? Of course if anything happend I would have told them but it was a bit rude just expecting a stranger to keep an eye out!
    If they didn't ask you to keep an eye out, I highly doubt they expected you to to. I would have no hesitation leaving my kids in a playground in a tavern while I went to the counter to order food, and I would not expect anyone else to watch my kids. If I didn't think my kids were capable of looking after themselves for 5 minutes, I wouldn't leave them there. That was YOUR expectation, not there's.

    GothChick- no I wouldn't let them use public toilets on their own, like FL said, I can't see them and neither can anyone else, whereas an enclosed playground in eyesight of the supermarket there are many people around and I can see them from where I am.

    ETA I don't follow them into the cubicle though, I wait in the toilets but outside the actual cubicle.
    Last edited by Annabella; 30-04-2012 at 09:59.

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  13. #170
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    Quote Originally Posted by Musiclovingmum View Post
    I remember going to our local tavern for lunch and taking my 3 year old before becoming pregnant. My partner and I ordered food and we got a table right at the door of the playground. It wasn't busy but there was a group of mums there letting their children play too. Now while I didn't take my eye off my son and was constantly getting up to open the door and speak to him. The other mums walked off to order and just left their kids playing (no older than four)... And they all seemed quite "affluent"... Freaked me out! I thought what because I'm watching my son I've got to watch your kids too? Of course if anything happend I would have told them but it was a bit rude just expecting a stranger to keep an eye out!
    I have no problems in leaving my DD play while ordering food. I don't expect anybody else to be watching her. I think you're being a bit presumptuous that's what the mothers were thinking.


    Considering that my eldest two are 17 and 12, I think I've learnt where to be vigilant and where to let go a little. I was over the top protective of my eldest, which resulted in him feeling suffocated and rebelling in a HUGE way through his early teens. Lesson learnt.

    I now allow my children freedom based on actual risk.

    In a playground within sight? Sure, I would allow My 11 and 4 year old to play, but I wouldn't allow my 4 yr old on her own.


 

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