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  1. #151
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    We played in cyanide heaps. We played near mine shafts. Luckily there were no accidents because even being taught what to do we were in no way capable of responding appropriately in emergencies like we may have faced. I was walking through a park when a bunch of 11 to 13yo boys my size approached in a threatening manner. I knew one of the parents (by chance a fb school friend who had her son's photos up so I recognised him) and they backed off when I said his mother's name and said I would ring her. At the same community park, a mum was with her 2yo while her 5yo road her bike on the round track. Another group of boys aged 10 and 11 started throwing rocks at her and telling her to die. The mum ran as fast as she could holding a toddler but the kid needed medical attention. Imagine if the mum wasn't there?

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    I mean more. We got bailed up by a snake so we threw textas at it. Lol.

    But also now that I'm thinking about it our parents left us countless times to play in the car park of the pub after dark while they had a drink. And I know I was 3 when I had to go to hospital for stitches on my chin because I had a bad fall. Wtf were my parents thinking!?! I was 3. And it's not like stupid risky behavior from me was a shock because I broke my arm when I was 2 climbing a tree - while supervised by my 5 year old brother who later admitted to pushing me. Haha poor Dan only confessed to that like 15 years after the fact.so yeah I probably also wouldn't leave a younger sibling in the care of an older sibling because it might be their older sibling that cracks it and doesn't understand consequences for their actions.

  3. #153
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    Just to be clear I am not more worried about something happening to my child at a park than I am about having a car accident. I'm actually not a fearful person and anyone who knew me would know that.

    However, keeping my children safe from harm is important to me and I'll take measures I deem fit to make that happen. So when we bought a car last year we spent a whole weekend reading reports, watching crash test dummies on you tube etc. before we made the choice on the type of car we wanted. My kids were rear facing as babies until they were too big for the car seats...almost 21 months, 19 months and 20 months I believe. At 6, 4.5 and 2.5 they are in the safest car seats for them that could fit in our car. The car seat for my 2 year old has been professionally fitted and it doesn't get moved...ever. If we have to take it out for whatever reason it goes and gets professionally fitted again. We have our car regularly serviced and we drive safely. I have to drive, there's no other choice. I don't sit in my car terrified of the potential dangers, but I'm aware that they are around and I take precautionary steps to keep myself and my family as safe as possible when we're in the car.

    My DH, a free range kid blew his face up three times doing things he shouldn't have and was held up at knife point....seriously, I'm totally cool with my kids not experiencing stuff like that
    Last edited by Areca; 29-04-2012 at 20:22.

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  5. #154
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    Ok must be naive then, I'll cop that one! Once again I'd like to point out that I would not consider the situation the OP was talking about being 'neglectful'.......

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    It sounds a little as though those of who had (for want of a better way of putting it) parents that tended toward overprotective tendencies are now keen to do the opposite in our parenting. And those of us who had more free range childhoods are also keen to do the opposite with our kids!

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  8. #156
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    Quote Originally Posted by Girl X View Post
    It sounds a little as though those of who had (for want of a better way of putting it) parents that tended toward overprotective tendencies are now keen to do the opposite in our parenting. And those of us who had more free range childhoods are also keen to do the opposite with our kids!
    Nah I'm keen to do the same as my parents did...they allowed me indpendence and kept me safe. It was the perfect combination really

    I had an incident at Easter in an outdoor fully gated playground. A little girl, no older than 4, wanted me to let her out but she couldn't show me where her mum was so I wouldn't let her. I told her she had to stay in the playground so when her mum came looking for her she was there. She said she wanted to go back to her mum but she couldn't even show me where abouts she was. I had my own kids to watch in the playground and I was just lucky that it was Easter so DH was off work and was with me. she was really upset so I ended up taking her out of the playground and went and found her mum with her. I explained to her what had happened and she was thankful but if I was on my own and then had to deal with a stranger's child getting upset and cranky with me or had to round my three up so we could all safely go looking for this girl's mum I'd be annoyed. I don't mind making sure someone else's child is off the slide safely before telling my 2 year old he can go down, or helping them off the monkey bars if they get stuck, or helping them with something if their mum is watching but tied up feeding a younger sibling (this happened at Easter, mum was breastfeeding a newborn so I helped her toddler when he was near me to help her) or comforting them if they are injured until their mum comes but I do get annoyed when I end up having to basically parent someone else's kid cause they have decided sitting on their picnic blanket completely out of view is more relaxing for them. I like to enjoy time with MY children when I'm out with them. If I have an extra child with me it is because I'm helping out a friend or have agreed to my kids bringing their friends...strangers kids who cry, yell and demand things from me, run off with my kids toys and then ask me for food..yeah I'm silently thinking 'where the f is you parent, if I wanted an extra child I would have given birth to one.'

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  10. #157
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    Quote Originally Posted by Areca View Post
    Nah I'm keen to do the same as my parents did...they allowed me indpendence and kept me safe. It was the perfect combination really
    That's pretty much the same as me. Their level of supervision was high, but not super strict... it wasn't like we were forbidden to do anything without them being present. It was just reasonable, common sense stuff.

    I provide a similar level of supervision with DD.

  11. #158
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    See, I'd say my parents fostered independence but kept us safe. But according to most of bh it was neglect. My parents were very very loving and I always felt quite strict (in terms of what we ate, bed times, watched on tv, whose house we could sleep at, I remember at 11 having to really fight to go to a blue light disco (coz they were worried there'd be older boys there preying on us younguns- I was pretty mature haha) yet we were allowed to ride our bikes around unsupervised, go to the servo on our own etc from quite a young age.

  12. #159
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    FearlessLeader is offline Winner 2013 - Most Memorable Thread
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    Same, Annabella. There seems to be this misconception that free range parents are just going to 'throw their kids' in.the playground and go shopping all day. All that was said was that yes, we would leave 2 children, aged 5 and 7, in an enclosed space where we could see them through a window, for maybe 20 minutes. I don't see how that's neglect. Of course I will have boundaries for my kids, like my parents did for us. We were allowed to roam, but only in pairs or more, and to each other's houses, the shops or the playground but not elsewhere. We were given freedom and trust and responsibilty, and when things went wrong we would run and get an adult.
    And I stand by my 'school kids aren't supervised' comment. In my work I walk into lots of schools. Every single one of them has the front gate wide open. If I've been at recess I have always seen 50 kids before I see one teacher (and usually i don't even see the teacher on.yard duty as i'm going straight to the office) . It may be different at little country schools or some private schools, but the vast majority of Australian children are effectively unsupervised every day for at least an hour, and very little ever goes wrong. Our kids are far more responsible than we give them credit for.

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  14. #160
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    Yeah see I think it might be different if someone has more than one child, but I honestly cannot say how I would feel about that. Maybe an 8 and 10 year old together? Not sure, all I know is I would not leave my 8 year old where she cannot be seen.


 

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