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  1. #141
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    really? most parents on this site are not neglectful?

    i would hazard a guess that around 25% are.

  2. #142
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    You can never tell what members are like based on what they say, especially in regards to parenting.

    Something massive happened a few years ago that involved parental neglect, and nobody here was aware at all at the time. (That's all I'll say on that, because you're not supposed to discuss it so don't ask for further info. I'll not provide it).

    I do agree that neglecting your child as in not feeding them, not bathing them, not attention to their medical needs, etc is totally different from just chucking them in a public park and hoping they're safe and well when you decide to return... but that doesn't make it a good idea just because there are worse things to do.

  3. #143
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    Quote Originally Posted by SassyMummy View Post
    Well, my parents were pretty vigiliant... so they were pretty much the same as I am. I am the same age as you are too Mum2EandR, so it's not about growing up in different times either (or places... I spent my childhood living in various states thanks to being a RAAF kid).

    Despite my parents apparently helicoptering me, I didn't feel terribly attached to them in the clingy sense, nor do I shudder with fear when thinking about being on my own. I think their supervision didn't do me any sort of disservice at all... but I will point out I was never molested, never broke a limb, never had a "close encounter" with a pervert/abductor/etc. Their supervision paid off IMO. Of course, all teh supervision in the world can still not prevent some things from happening... and certainly parents aren't the cause of their children getting molested/attacked/abducted/injured/etc in all cases... but hey, I figure a bit of supervision of children who are still not old enough to read extremely well, or don't have hte cognitive ability to judge situations accurately, etc is probably more beneficial than not.
    My parents and grandparents particularly my grandfather were extremely vigilant of stranger danger. My grandfather had such a fear of me being kidnap he would always projecting it on to me. Even when I went to my first school camp he told me to not even trust the teachers.
    His intentions were right. He wanted me to realize that not all people had innocent intentions and just because an adult was in a position of power and presumed trust like a teacher I was to be warry if they wanted me to do something unusual. But I spentany years terrified of anyone walking near me if i was by myself and struggled with trust issues.
    I now feel I'm the same in helicopting with dd but hope I don't project my own fears on to her I would hate for her to live with the same fear and anxiety that I had growing up.
    Obviously your parents gave you the right balance

  4. #144
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    Quote Originally Posted by BerylsMum View Post
    really? most parents on this site are not neglectful?

    i would hazard a guess that around 25% are.
    Oh ok, we'll I am a fairly new member I guess. But why would a neglectful parent join a parenting forum? Surely they wouldn't care enough about their kids to bother with parenting websites?? Although I am happy enough to stand corrected if that's the case!!

    I don't consider letting your child play unsupervised at the park neglectful if you have taught your child appropriate safety measures and they are responsible enough to carry them through...... Sure dropping a child who doesn't have the maturity or isn't responsible off at a park and leaving them there for ages while you go and have a nap/smoke some cones etc is neglectful.

    Not the same thing IMO

  5. #145
    futureherder is offline Child led parent here...save me :)
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mum2EandR View Post
    I do get what you're saying, things can happen in a split second but this is another. In our society man=pervert. British Airways actually got sued not long ago for having a policy that stated that a man traveling on his own was not permitted to sit next to a child. A man in the USA recently got investigated by the police for allegedly 'grooming' primary school students while hanging around a bakery. Turns out that the elderly man was a local resident who went to get his load of bread each morning, and tried to make friendly conversation while waiting in the line. Or even more recently in the USA where a child was drowning in a local lake, a man playing with his children saw and jumped in, grabbed the little kid and swam her to shore. Instead of getting a massive thank you from the child's mother, he copped a mouthful of abuse from the mother for 'touching' her little girl......

    Is it any wonder that we are so averse to helping out other peoples children? I really feel for the men in today's society......
    It was just showing what can happen in a second, it wasn't another assumption of perversion. Just clarifying. He looked sus because he seemed to be drunk whether he was a man or women I wouldn't want them touching my child and if I was drunk and walked up to some random child and picked them up in retrospect I would totally understand the parent not wanting that too.

    I too feel for men is society who are incorrectly assumed to be guilty, my partner is a male nurse so he gets his fair share trust me.

  6. #146
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    Quote Originally Posted by futureherder View Post
    I too feel for men is society who are incorrectly assumed to be guilty, my partner is a male nurse so he gets his fair share trust me.
    I knew what you meant
    Your poor DH It must be so hard to work in a 'caring' profession as a male.... I really feel for male teachers as well!!!

  7. #147
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    joining a forum does not mean you are a great parent.
    That is a very naive thought, imo.

    My mother and stepdad were good people on the outside. she was head of the p and c and they were well off. A neighbourhood watch sticker was on our house. My mum was popular and had people over all the time.
    We had expensive clothes and food every night.

    Neglect is not always obvious.

  8. #148
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    I won't be allowing many of the freedoms we had as children because we didn't know how to handle ourselves. And strangers were far from the issue, more set free into the wild... Errmm ... National parks... To roam. And it was awesome for us. But over my dead body for my children.

  9. #149
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    Quote Originally Posted by BerylsMum View Post
    joining a forum does not mean you are a great parent.
    That is a very naive thought, imo.

    My mother and stepdad were good people on the outside. she was head of the p and c and they were well off. A neighbourhood watch sticker was on our house. My mum was popular and had people over all the time.
    We had expensive clothes and food every night.

    Neglect is not always obvious.
    Exactly! It's often more hidden than other forms of abuse and many don't feel it is in the same category as abuse hence the terms with children services "abuse and/or neglect" in my opinion neglect is just as damaging and abuse should be just termed as abuse with sub categories of physical, sexual, emotional(including domestic violence and psychological), and neglect

  10. #150
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    Quote Originally Posted by Boobycino View Post
    I won't be allowing many of the freedoms we had as children because we didn't know how to handle ourselves. And strangers were far from the issue, more set free into the wild... Errmm ... National parks... To roam. And it was awesome for us. But over my dead body for my children.
    Yes as a child you can't recognizes people being manipulative and have ulterior motives


 

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