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  1. #131
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    Quote Originally Posted by Michelle_N View Post
    Okay....dont flame me and I am not trying to be controversial!

    Now....the Aldi where I live has a playground (fully enclosed like those Bunnings one) right outside so you can see the playground from the shop window.

    DS1 is almost 7 and DS2 is almost 5 and we desperately need food! DP has gone away for the weekend and he normally will look after the kids while I am at the shops.

    As good as the boys are the are a PITA when shopping! Running up and down the aisles, egging each other on, etc.

    I was thinking that maybe I can leave them to play in the playground while I whipped around the shop. DS1 can come and get me if any troubles and I can keep an eye on them through the window.

    Would you?
    Nope!

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    Quote Originally Posted by SassyMummy View Post

    TBH, I'd also just feel pretty damn ashamed if something happened and another parent had to deal with it because I wasn't around. It's fine if you've asked that parent to watch your child for you, but when you leave them unattended in a public park, that isn't the case... and I know I personally feel really angry that other parents have abandoned their kids. It means I feel responsible for them... because I'm the only adult around.
    I think this is a big part of the problem TBH...... When we were kids it wasn't viewed as 'abandonment' and parents all chipped in and helped one another. We were at the park today and a little one fell over and got a bit of a fright, her Mum wasn't nearby so I just sat and comforted her until her mum came back.... Mum was apologetic but really there was no need to be. I would help any child in trouble without thinking twice OR being angry that their parents weren't watching them..... We are all so self-involved and judgmental these days..... There's no such thing as 'the village' anymore and it's really sad. I would expect somebody to help my child if she injured herself..... Without judgment of my parenting...... It's what I would do anyway.... Maybe I'm living in dreamland......

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  4. #133
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    Then there is the flipside where people come back to find their child sitting on a strangers lap and snuggling in crying and calls said stranger a pervert in front of a whole shop or comforting a child...

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    Quote Originally Posted by futureherder View Post
    Excuse the expression but hell no.

    I was walking 7 meters in front of my DD at a shopping centre today, she got distracted by a games machine, one with 'the claw' a dodgy looking guy walked passed me so I looked behind me to check on my little duck, in that time the guy had reached my daughter and was starting to pick her up so she could see the footballs, now I am sure it was all innocent but it only took 10 secs for him to get his hands on her, who knows what could have happened in another 10 seconds. I am a helicopter parent however in this day and age I feel I need to be. To each their own though, you need to balance the risks.

    Online shopping saves me!
    I do get what you're saying, things can happen in a split second but this is another. In our society man=pervert. British Airways actually got sued not long ago for having a policy that stated that a man traveling on his own was not permitted to sit next to a child. A man in the USA recently got investigated by the police for allegedly 'grooming' primary school students while hanging around a bakery. Turns out that the elderly man was a local resident who went to get his load of bread each morning, and tried to make friendly conversation while waiting in the line. Or even more recently in the USA where a child was drowning in a local lake, a man playing with his children saw and jumped in, grabbed the little kid and swam her to shore. Instead of getting a massive thank you from the child's mother, he copped a mouthful of abuse from the mother for 'touching' her little girl......

    Is it any wonder that we are so averse to helping out other peoples children? I really feel for the men in today's society......

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    Quote Originally Posted by share a book View Post
    Then there is the flipside where people come back to find their child sitting on a strangers lap and snuggling in crying and calls said stranger a pervert in front of a whole shop or comforting a child...
    Absolutely!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mum2EandR View Post
    Absolutely!
    Makes people reluctant to help. I remember the article about a guy who saw a child run to the road. Being a parent, his reaction was to run and grab the child. He was yelled at, the kid was ripped off him and he was hit. He was accused of trying to snatch the kid. Things like that mean more and more people, particularly in city areas, are less likely to want to help. Don't rely on other people to look out for your kids when so many will turn away.

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    when we were young...

    when i was young ,
    I walked to the shop on my own
    I played outside on my own all day
    i walked to and from school
    my car didnt have seatbelts
    my trampoline, no net.

    i played in the street, at my mums work.
    i wandered the streets to the park.
    i was left at home, in the car, in the ikea ball pit , at the park.

    sound idyllic?
    i was fostered out for neglect.

    i was neglected..passed on as independance.

    i am not saying that all parents who foster independance are neglectful...i just do not like the 70's and 80's held up as proof it works..

    we are the biggest users of anti depressants and therapy , yet!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by BerylsMum View Post
    when we were young...

    when i was young ,
    I walked to the shop on my own
    I played outside on my own all day
    i walked to and from school
    my car didnt have seatbelts
    my trampoline, no net.

    i played in the street, at my mums work.
    i wandered the streets to the park.
    i was left at home, in the car, in the ikea ball pit , at the park.

    sound idyllic?
    i was fostered out for neglect.

    i was neglected..passed on as independance.

    i am not saying that all parents who foster independance are neglectful...i just do not like the 70's and 80's held up as proof it works..

    we are the biggest users of anti depressants and therapy , yet!!
    And I do feel terribly for people like yourself that were raised in neglectful conditions..... But in reality it's not a 'fine line' between overprotecting and free-ranging - it is a massive huge chasm where people who are very loving and attentive parents let their children take risks, get hurt and have responsibility WITHIN reason and dependent upon the maturity of the child. And I'd pretty much guarantee that every person on this site would fall into that area. I know awful things happen, I work in community services, I see it all the time. But I would say that any parent who is on this site, is probably not going to be neglectful.....

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    Quote Originally Posted by BerylsMum View Post

    we are the biggest users of anti depressants and therapy , yet!!
    Until our kids grow up..... Statistics already show that antidepressants and therapy are being used on children under the age of 16 at a higher rate than ever before...... And they are our generations kids!

    It has less to do with how crap our parents were, and more to do with Medication and Therapy becoming more and more socially acceptable and readily available....

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  15. #140
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    Well, my parents were pretty vigiliant... so they were pretty much the same as I am. I am the same age as you are too Mum2EandR, so it's not about growing up in different times either (or places... I spent my childhood living in various states thanks to being a RAAF kid).

    Despite my parents apparently helicoptering me, I didn't feel terribly attached to them in the clingy sense, nor do I shudder with fear when thinking about being on my own. I think their supervision didn't do me any sort of disservice at all... but I will point out I was never molested, never broke a limb, never had a "close encounter" with a pervert/abductor/etc. Their supervision paid off IMO. Of course, all teh supervision in the world can still not prevent some things from happening... and certainly parents aren't the cause of their children getting molested/attacked/abducted/injured/etc in all cases... but hey, I figure a bit of supervision of children who are still not old enough to read extremely well, or don't have hte cognitive ability to judge situations accurately, etc is probably more beneficial than not.


 

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