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  1. #121
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    Quote Originally Posted by Witwicky View Post
    A couple of posters mentioned that statistically a relative or friend known to the child is more likely to commit an assault.

    This is true.

    But it doesn't mean we should ignore the other risks, no matter how small. That's illogical.

    Listen - do what you feel comfortable with as a parent, each to their own - but don't accuse other parents of hovering or insinuate that other parents are overprotective. The concerns and fears in these situations are VERY valid.
    ONE poster called it helicoptering, and where I sit, this thread is not 'accusing parents of hovering or insinuating that other parents are over-protective'... The few of us that did go against the grain have argued that 'we' don't feel that the fears of pedophiles being around every corner is an accurate picture of our society. I'm not insinuating anything, anymore than people are insinuating that I'm a neglectful parent......

    I also have a very valid fear...... But it's not of peadophiles or abductions or bullies harassing my children.......

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  3. #122
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    Quote Originally Posted by Witwicky View Post
    A couple of posters mentioned that statistically a relative or friend known to the child is more likely to commit an assault.

    This is true.

    But it doesn't mean we should ignore the other risks, no matter how small. That's illogical.

    Listen - do what you feel comfortable with as a parent, each to their own - but don't accuse other parents of hovering or insinuate that other parents are overprotective. The concerns and fears in these situations are VERY valid.
    I think we all make our own risk assessment as a parent. For some situations I would feel that the risks of being what I see as an overprotective parent outweigh the risks of something happening to my child. Others may make the same assessment, or may decide entirely the opposite.

    There are some situations where I may feel that what a parent does IS overprotective, or that their concerns or fears may not be valid. However, that is just my opinion, and those same parents may feel that my actions would be foolhardy/ risky, and that I did not have enough concerns or fears.

    We all have to weigh up what works for us. I would never tell another parent to act differently, but I may decide that I would act differently in the same set of circumstances.

    (I am also not just referring to the OP's situation here, as I have already said that I really have no idea what I would do in that situation, given that I have no experience with kids of that age).

    ETA: What I'm trying to say is that we all do what works for us, and I am not looking down on anyone else for being 'overprotective' or trying to label anyone that way. Just that there are some things that I might feel are overprotective, just as others might feel some things are 'underprotective'. Each to their own. Not sure if I explained that very well!
    Last edited by Guest654; 29-04-2012 at 12:40. Reason: further explanation

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  5. #123
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    No definitely not.
    I don't even like them being in the Maccas play land. Only 2 weeks ago we were there and an older girl grabbed one of my DD's hands and started walking her out to the carpark. What if I had of been inside ordering lunch or in the toilet instead of supervising my children?
    Anything could happen.

  6. #124
    Witwicky's Avatar
    Witwicky is offline A closed mouth gathers no foot.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mum2EandR View Post
    ONE poster called it helicoptering, and where I sit, this thread is not 'accusing parents of hovering or insinuating that other parents are over-protective'... The few of us that did go against the grain have argued that 'we' don't feel that the fears of pedophiles being around every corner is an accurate picture of our society. I'm not insinuating anything, anymore than people are insinuating that I'm a neglectful parent......

    I also have a very valid fear...... But it's not of peadophiles or abductions or bullies harassing my children.......
    Er yes...and one poster is enough, which is why it was addressed? You stated that no-one mentioned it?

    Anywayyyyy, that's neither here nor there.

    The comments from posters who are 'pro' the idea have plainly stated that parents who supervise their children in these situations are doing more harm than good - someone even stated that doing such could risk the child growing into an incompetent and fearful adult.

    I think comments like that have ignited this entire debate. Each to their own, but don't accuse me of raising a fearful child (not YOU personally - i'm just responding to your comments about insinuation). No-one in this thread knows what I do in other situations or the risks that I take as a parent. To judge the competency of a child based on this one, sole situation is ridiculous. To state that they will grow into a fearful adult is even more irrational.

  7. #125
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    Quote Originally Posted by Witwicky View Post
    Er yes...and one poster is enough, which is why it was addressed? You stated that no-one mentioned it?

    Anywayyyyy, that's neither here nor there.

    The comments from posters who are 'pro' the idea have plainly stated that parents who supervise their children in these situations are doing more harm than good - someone even stated that doing such could risk the child growing into an incompetent and fearful adult.

    I think comments like that have ignited this entire debate. Each to their own, but don't accuse me of raising a fearful child (not YOU personally - i'm just responding to your comments about insinuation). No-one in this thread knows what I do in other situations or the risks that I take as a parent. To judge the competency of a child based on this one, sole situation is ridiculous. To state that they will grow into a fearful adult is even more irrational.
    The reason I commented was because the one post out of everything that mentioned helicoptering, I honestly didn't even notice that word, but you're right.......

    And its going both ways in this thread..... You may feel like you're being judged for being overprotective, the other side have been told that leaving children to play alone in a playground is akin to handing the child to a pedophile on a platter and saying "here, help yourself!"

    Both equally ridiculous notions if you ask me....

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  9. #126
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    Quote Originally Posted by Witwicky View Post
    Er yes...and one poster is enough, which is why it was addressed? You stated that no-one mentioned it?

    Anywayyyyy, that's neither here nor there.

    The comments from posters who are 'pro' the idea have plainly stated that parents who supervise their children in these situations are doing more harm than good - someone even stated that doing such could risk the child growing into an incompetent and fearful adult.

    I think comments like that have ignited this entire debate. Each to their own, but don't accuse me of raising a fearful child (not YOU personally - i'm just responding to your comments about insinuation). No-one in this thread knows what I do in other situations or the risks that I take as a parent. To judge the competency of a child based on this one, sole situation is ridiculous. To state that they will grow into a fearful adult is even more irrational.
    It has been coming from both sides of the fence. Those who would leave their kids have been told that they are handing them over to pedophiles. Pretty inflammatory I'd say.

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  11. #127
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    Quote Originally Posted by Witwicky View Post
    Actually, the term 'Helicopter Parenting' WAS used, hence the subsequent references of it.
    Excuse me I said I didn't know whether I would leave my child alone in a playground but that in general I don't agree with helicopter parenting. I didn't say supervising your kids in a playground is helicopter parenting. But we are becoming an over protective helicopter parenting society which is the point Fearless and a few other posters made.
    Last edited by duckduckgoose; 29-04-2012 at 13:27.

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    Well I personally said the idea was a bad one... but I did also state that my main concern is not "stranger danger," or roving paedophiles just waiting for his chance to snatch up DD... but rather her injuring herself, her worrying because I'm not around, some other kid leaving the gate open and DD wandering off, etc.

    TBH, I'd also just feel pretty damn ashamed if something happened and another parent had to deal with it because I wasn't around. It's fine if you've asked that parent to watch your child for you, but when you leave them unattended in a public park, that isn't the case... and I know I personally feel really angry that other parents have abandoned their kids. It means I feel responsible for them... because I'm the only adult around.

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  14. #129
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    Depends on the child I think. If you can see them i think a quick 30 min shop isn't gonna hurt.

  15. #130
    futureherder is offline Child led parent here...save me :)
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    Excuse the expression but hell no.

    I was walking 7 meters in front of my DD at a shopping centre today, she got distracted by a games machine, one with 'the claw' a dodgy looking guy walked passed me so I looked behind me to check on my little duck, in that time the guy had reached my daughter and was starting to pick her up so she could see the footballs, now I am sure it was all innocent but it only took 10 secs for him to get his hands on her, who knows what could have happened in another 10 seconds. I am a helicopter parent however in this day and age I feel I need to be. To each their own though, you need to balance the risks.

    Online shopping saves me!


 

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