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  1. #111
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    I'm really suprised I'm in such a minority.
    The very small risk of a random stranger abduction seems to weigh on parents minds so much more heavily than the much more likely risk of, say, a car accident.

    I don't quite understand why.

    Awful thinks can happen, sometimes they are out of our control. I could dwell on the horrific nature of some very rare crimes and paralyse myself with fear for my children, or I could make a thorough risk assessment, weighing up the need for balance between caution and life and growth.

    I mean, sometimes children are snatched from their own bedrooms, should they never sleep alone?

    I also think it is important that my children grow up knowing that most people in the world are good, kind and wish them no harm. I couldn't imagine having to grow up so fearful and untrusting of everyone adult in their life.

    As a parent I feel my job is to navigate my children towards an independent adulthood. That job entails more than just keeping them "safe" for 18 years.

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  3. #112
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    I am genuinely interested to hear some reasons why people are more afraid of stranger danger than car accidents. Can you not see it's irrational?

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  5. #113
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    In that situation I would not leave my kids to play alone. I trust my kids, don't trust anyone else.
    If I was in your situation op I would (this is what I do every shopping day with 2 to 4 kids in tow depending if it's holidays or not)
    • set 3 rules. No more than that or they don't follow any. It maybe things like no running, no crying and stay with mum. Easy to police then.
    • give each a list of somethings you need or tell them you need milk bread juice and bananas and get them to remember, so when you get to the shop they are so focused on what they have to remember they don't misbehave.
    • promise that if they follow the rules the whole time and be helpful in getting OUR things then they can play for however long. If there are chairs then you can sit for a while and chill.

    I have shopping with kids down pat mostly and can successful do it each week/fortnight without dramas. My kids are great helpers at the shops, know where everything is, know how to find the price. Kids learn a lot from food shopping- healthy food vs unhealthy food, math, money and budgeting, how to behave in a shop.

  6. #114
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    Quote Originally Posted by FearlessLeader View Post
    I am genuinely interested to hear some reasons why people are more afraid of stranger danger than car accidents. Can you not see it's irrational?

    Sent from my HTC Sensation Z710a using BubHub
    You may consider it irrational but a car accident is just that, an accident, most of which are not fatal and do not cause lifelong trauma. Even in the majority of serious accidents the effects are physical more than psychological and so can be healed in time. (I'm saying most cases, not all)

    If something happened to one of my children where I could have done anything to prevent it I know I would struggle to forgive myself, even if it had a one in a million chance of happening and was not at all foreseeable.

    The results of someone taking a child and assaulting or hurting them in anyway will last a lifetime, for the parents and the child, and I think that is why there is so much fear about it.

  7. #115
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    Quote Originally Posted by 2girls1boyplus1 View Post
    You may consider it irrational but a car accident is just that, an accident, most of which are not fatal and do not cause lifelong trauma. Even in the majority of serious accidents the effects are physical more than psychological and so can be healed in time. (I'm saying most cases, not all)

    If something happened to one of my children where I could have done anything to prevent it I know I would struggle to forgive myself, even if it had a one in a million chance of happening and was not at all foreseeable.

    The results of someone taking a child and assaulting or hurting them in anyway will last a lifetime, for the parents and the child, and I think that is why there is so much fear about it.

    Every day 4 people die and 80 are seriously injured in car accidents. Far mote than assaults or abductions (can't remember exactly but those numbers are something like 4 a day) Trauma from serious car accidents also last a lifetime. I'm imagining a large number of those 80 a day experience lifelong psychological issues.
    Does anyone take precautions like not driving in the rain, on Friday nights or long weekends, as these are when most accidents occur. Or do people not worry about minimizing the dangers of car travel?

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    Quote Originally Posted by FearlessLeader View Post
    I am genuinely interested to hear some reasons why people are more afraid of stranger danger than car accidents. Can you not see it's irrational?

    Sent from my HTC Sensation Z710a using BubHub
    People are afraid of car accidents. That's why they keep their children rear facing for as long as possible, check safety standards of car seats, make sure cars they buy are rated 5 stars for safety, drive to the speed limit, stop at red lights; yes there is a risk but we do all we can to minimize the risk. Same with leaving a child at play equipment. We perceive a risk, and mitigate those risks to the extent that we deem necessary. I'm with others who wouldn't leave their kids. The same way I protect DD while driving, I will protect her by ensuring she is supervised 100% of the time while at the shopping centre. For me, any risk, especially while they are too young to rationalize and understand, is too much risk.

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  10. #117
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    Quote Originally Posted by FearlessLeader View Post
    I am genuinely interested to hear some reasons why people are more afraid of stranger danger than car accidents. Can you not see it's irrational?

    Sent from my HTC Sensation Z710a using BubHub
    It's about minimising risk.

    In our society, with things so spread out, we *need* vehicles for transportation - so we minimise the risk of car accidents. This involves using seat belts, using car seats which meet national safety standards, cars with air bags and abs, traction control systems, speed limits, driving slower in wet weather etc.

    We don't "need" play grounds as such, but they are fun for kids. So to minimise the risk of a child in a playground, it's really simple - be there. Children are innocent and precious and should never be left alone with the responsibility of protecting themselves.

    This doesn't just relate to abductions either. A child of such a young age needs an adult to be there in the event that they hurt themselves, or if a random stranger approaches (my child was in a playground in a Brisbane shopping centre a few months ago when a very creepy, dishevelled man with a pair of scissors and a dead, rotting bird in his pocket approached the bottom of the slide. I was standing a few feet away, so swooped in quicker than the blink of an eye).

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  12. #118
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    Quote Originally Posted by FearlessLeader View Post
    I am genuinely interested to hear some reasons why people are more afraid of stranger danger than car accidents. Can you not see it's irrational?

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    How do you know how people feel about car accidents based on that?

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    Stranger danger isn't the only threat in a playground. If the gate doesn't close or someone else opens it, will the kids stay in the playground or will they run off (maybe even crossing busy roads)? We live in Australia, will the kids avoid a snake curled up in a piece of equipment or will they poke it with sticks? What if there is an accident, do your kids know cpr? Do the kids know not to touch syringes?

    There are a lot of dangers that are avoided by not leaving young kids in a playground unsupervised. Not all of them are foreseeable and that's probably why there are signs asking for parents to supervise their kids at all times. As pp stated its not comparable to road accidents which we do our best to protect against, leaving kids alone in a public place is more like letting them ride in a car with no seat belt on.

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    I'm WAY more afraid of car accidents than I am most things. Hence my lack of license.

    I'm pretty jumpy in the car at the best of times, constantly anticipating danger and I'm the worst most annoying 'back seat driver' constantly flinching and bracing and pointing out risks.

    But I'm also afraid of risks to my children unattended on a play ground

    And my children very rarely are actually in the car.


 

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