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  1. #1
    Buttoneska's Avatar
    Buttoneska is offline Winner 2010- Most Community Minded Thread Award
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    Default 12+3 and quite anxious - what should i do?

    Try to keep this brief, I'm 12+3 after my previous pregnancy ended in missed mc.

    The whole pregnancy I have been biding my time to 12wks and not really connecting with hubs. I've kinda been in limbo, told some ppl and looked at baby stuff but it has been surreal.

    12wk scan was perfect then the dayvafter I had some light bleeding. Today I went to Dr to check and hub is ok.

    So now I feel like I am pregnant and keep picturing my baby. Today on scan it was jumping all over the place, its really real.

    But this had made me even more anxious then I was before!

    I have decided I'm gonna go back to my shrink so I can work through this but that could be a couple of weeks at least.

    I had planned on announcing it on fb after nt results but Dr has now out that app back a mth becos she saw bub today and is so happy with everything. She will contact me once results come if anything concerning but otherwise I'm all good until 16wks.

    I'm thinking maybe I need to get into it mire, put it on fb and get a bit excited. Embrace it and stay positive rather then thinking I will jinx myself my being happy and enjoying pregnancy.

    Maybe I should start buying some stuff too?

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    You know what kept me sane during those weeks? A Doppler. I know they can cause extra anxiety if you can't find heartbeat, but once I got good at it it really helped me feel at peace. Especially when I wasn't showing and couldnt feel movement.

    I had a missed miscarriage first up and was paranoid second time around. Especially when i had some bleeding just before twelve weeks. All was ok but that blood freaked me out.

    By the same token, don't feel bad about not 'announcing' yet. Wait until you are comfortable.

    ((hugs))

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    I had a missed miscarriage. And this pregnancy I've been the same as you. I'm almost 19 weeks and haven't announced it on Facebook.
    I have to say. I won't be putting it up on Facebook, stuff em! I've decided if they don't see me or talk to me regularly, then they don't need to know!

    Anyway, I've only just started getting into it! Don't think you're weird or anything. It's scary and stressful. And even more so now that you've seen your baby and know its okay and real!

    Don't put more stress on yourself. You're normal!!

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    Take it a slow or as fast as you feel comfortable. If you want announce it go ahead but if you just keep it secret for a little bit longer that's OK too. I find talking to my bub helps to bond with it.
    Talking to someone sounds like a good idea if your getting overly worried. The odds are very much in your bubs favor now, so try not worry. I know it's hard.
    I am here to talk if you need me.

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    Buttoneska's Avatar
    Buttoneska is offline Winner 2010- Most Community Minded Thread Award
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    The only reason i havent out it on fb is cos I'm scared I will jinx myself. So im kinda thinking maybe I need to he brave and step into this pregnancy which would be announcing on fb. Not so much for them but for me u know?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Buttoneska View Post
    The only reason i havent out it on fb is cos I'm scared I will jinx myself. So im kinda thinking maybe I need to he brave and step into this pregnancy which would be announcing on fb. Not so much for them but for me u know?
    You won't jinx yourself hun, but it may make it more real IKWIM.

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    Button I do understand. You are a few weeks in front of me (I'm almost 9 weeks) and I'm so not even as excited as I was last time. One miscarriage and one missed miscarriage before this. DH and had looked at baby shops and even bought some stuff last time. We'd told patents etc. this time I just feel detached most of the time and we haven't told family at all and thought like you we would wait til 12 weeks ish. It's so nerve wracking and full of anxiety. Personally I think talking with your psych and DH will help you make the decision to announce when you're up for it. You want to feel excited to share the news not nervous when you do. I had a friend wait til almost 18 weeks til she announced.
    Take each day as it comes. I wish I could help but I'm sort of in the same boat. (also glad to hear all is going smoothly for you too). Hugs.

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    Can totally relate. Our first ended in a missed m/c after 12wks and I couldn't get excited when we finally conceived again. I tried to stay positive but always had that niggle of 'its happened before...' we waited until our 20wk scan before sharing the news with the world (parents & siblings knew but respected our wishes for it to remain private until we were ready)

    Unfortunately the nervousness will stay with you until you hold your precious bundle. Put your u/s pics on the fridge, it might help seeing that healthy bub each time you walk past. Best of luck for the rest of your pregnancy

    Sent from my HTC Liberty using BubHub

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    Oh and I don't think there's any such thing as jinxing yourself.

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    I agree with TamTam that I don't think there is such a thing as jinxing yourself but the anxiety around announcing a pregnancy is very real.

    Although I haven't had a miscarriage I found extremely anxious around 12 - 13 weeks with my 2nd pregnancy. It was worse than my 1st pregnancy when all I wanted to do was announce the good news. This time around I got scared about announcing it, cause it made it more 'real' and I hadn't really accepted that I was really pregnant (despite finding out at 3 weeks!).

    There's no massive rush to make the announcement, by all means wait a few weeks, but will that make it worse? Will it turn it into a massive thing, when it doesn't need to be? Maybe. If you get the announcing part over & done with then you might find you can relax. Your risk of miscarriage after seeing a happy, healthy bub on the 12 week scan is very low.

    As for buying baby things, there's no rush at all on that front. I hardly bought anything til I was 30+ weeks pregnant 2nd time around.


 

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