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  1. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by Izzys Mummy View Post
    After a close family friends still birth at 39wks I am definitely precious about it.
    So you're not going to announce a pregnancy until you're over 39 weeks now? My mum lost a baby at 2 months of age...so do people hide their children away until they hit a 'safe' age...whatever that is, just in case?

    That's just odd to me. I mean how far do we take our privacy? Become hermits because we don't want people to know our business? Weird.

  2. #42
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    There's a difference between sharing happy news and using happy news as gossip. People who aren't good friends often use information as the latter.

    I broke off a friendship with DS after a close friend had told the world I was expecting before 12 weeks... And then lied to me about it. The worst was that she used it for the latter: gossip.

    I wouldn't have a problem with people discussing my pregnancy when I thought it was the right time (after 13/14 weeks perhaps). I am outraged when it gets out before YOU have the opportunity to share your news WHEN you feel it's safe (usually past 12 weeks)

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  4. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by Deserama View Post
    So you're not going to announce a pregnancy until you're over 39 weeks now? My mum lost a baby at 2 months of age...so do people hide their children away until they hit a 'safe' age...whatever that is, just in case?

    That's just odd to me. I mean how far do we take our privacy? Become hermits because we don't want people to know our business? Weird.
    No I'm not going to announce my pregnancy on social media or otherwise. Cos if you were important to me and we were in regular contact you would know I was pregnant.

    But if I don't see you often enough nor if we keep in regular contact gen you don't need to know.

    Yes I will announce the safe arrival of a new family member. When mum and bub are both safe and well.

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  6. #44
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    Deserama it's about protecting the feelings of the expectant mother and what she can cope with in the public domain. Insensitive people like you are a classic example, describing people as 'weird' for wanting to protect themselves in an emotional and uncertain time in their life. You obviously don't get it and don't want to.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Deserama View Post
    So you're not going to announce a pregnancy until you're over 39 weeks now? My mum lost a baby at 2 months of age...so do people hide their children away until they hit a 'safe' age...whatever that is, just in case?

    That's just odd to me. I mean how far do we take our privacy? Become hermits because we don't want people to know our business? Weird.
    You're missing the point. It's the parents call not anyone else's. If they want to wait until the child is 21 that's their call.

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  10. #46
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    When I told a couple of the mums at school, I absolutely knew it was going to be round the whole school within a day, I was expecting it and actually appreciated it as I didn't have to go round telling everyone...nobody asked if they could pass on the news, I just knew they would as I hadn't specifically told them I was keeping it a secret.
    I think once you are over 12 weeks and tell someone, unless you state in no uncertain terms that you do not want anyone else to know, it's going to get round.

    The only reason id be ****ed is if I had told a friend in confidence, told them I didnt want anyone else to know, and they went and told someone behind my back.

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  12. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by Angelmummy82 View Post
    Deserama it's about protecting the feelings of the expectant mother and what she can cope with in the public domain. Insensitive people like you are a classic example, describing people as 'weird' for wanting to protect themselves in an emotional and uncertain time in their life. You obviously don't get it and don't want to.
    Please don't call my insensitive thanks...you have no idea. And I didn't call anybody weird I said that the situation I described (being hermits) was weird.

    What are these people wanting to protect themselves from? Like you say that it would be peeps you don't usually speak to...well would it really matter if they know someone's pregnant then? What's going to happen exactly if people know? I don't understand. If these people were nasty people who want to gossip and laugh about you behind your back....then sure...but then I wouldn't have them as friends on any domain let alone fb so moot point. But if it's genuine people who care, who know your business...having a baby....what does it matter? Quite frankly if I was THAT sensitive about my pregnancies I wouldn't have told ANYONE just in case someone let it slip accidently.

    But whatever, I am one of those who keep my mouth shut out of respect for people, whether I understand or not so no one has ever had to worry about me blabbing their business to anyone. I just find the whole thing really odd... And I'm allowed to feel that way.

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  14. #48
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    Ohhhh I'd be furious. We haven't told ANYONE were TTC IRL and we won't either and I won't tell anyone til post 16wks for my own reasons. It's not about being ashamed, not wanting to tell anyone or being a hermit as some have suggested. It's about telling people you know vs. telling the whole world and then those people using your personal life as fodder because they don't have anything else to talk about (just guessing here) Some people don't want to put it on billboard for whatever reason. Some people want to tell those they KNOW and not bother with the acquaintances or random say hi as you pass by people. Some people want to tell people personally and not have it blown out there by someone who has not right passing on the news as its not theirs to share. Yeah they'll eventually see your pregnant but why should those people feel like they were obligated to be told when they aren't really friends with the couple? More to the point why do some people feel the need to label a person's choice as weird or wrong just because they don't understand it. That's called ignorance.

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  16. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by Deserama View Post
    Please don't call my insensitive thanks...you have no idea. And I didn't call anybody weird I said that the situation I described (being hermits) was weird.

    What are these people wanting to protect themselves from? Like you say that it would be peeps you don't usually speak to...well would it really matter if they know someone's pregnant then? What's going to happen exactly if people know? I don't understand. If these people were nasty people who want to gossip and laugh about you behind your back....then sure...but then I wouldn't have them as friends on any domain let alone fb so moot point. But if it's genuine people who care, who know your business...having a baby....what does it matter? Quite frankly if I was THAT sensitive about my pregnancies I wouldn't have told ANYONE just in case someone let it slip accidently.

    But whatever, I am one of those who keep my mouth shut out of respect for people, whether I understand or not so no one has ever had to worry about me blabbing their business to anyone. I just find the whole thing really odd... And I'm allowed to feel that way.
    I don't think it's the fact that people know about the pregnancy - it's that IF something goes wrong they don't want to face the questions and provide explanations to acquaintances about a very personal and emotional situation. If I had another I wouldn't announce anything on social media until after my 20 week scan. That's my choice and other people who I choose to share the news with should respect that.

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  18. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by smileygirl View Post
    i think people have forgotten what life was like before facebook etc...we could have a private life and there was no need to "announce stuff".

    When I was pregnant with my son...no one knew except those i spoke to regularly (shock horror) and life proceeded as normal.

    People now expect to know every damn thing about us...instantly...and think they can share what ever they like when ever they like....i do wonder if life will go full circle and we can once again go on with our daily lives without knowing every minute detail of others lives and with out them knowing ours.

    hugs OP (and others), share your news carefully and hopefully those around you will be a bit more respectful!
    ^^^ This is a brilliant reply.


    But meh, if you want to think it's weird or wrong or odd to not wanting everyone knowing about one facet of your life, then coolio. It really shouldn't inspire much thought beyond, oh, she's irked because an apparent close friend couldn't keep her big trap closed, and she needs to work on her grammer or stop hammering the iphone (my excuse is the iphone).

    EACH TO THEIR OWN.

    I was only venting. And in a nutshell the vent was about a lack of respect.


 

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