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  1. #21
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    oh, that's hard with the sleeping thing with lupus.. if it's that type. If she really is sick I guess it's harder, but if she is staying up all night and sleeping all day that's different.

    Maybe a new boyfriend is her 2 week plan :P

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    hers is the skin kind..
    i sound so mean... but she stays up
    all night, smoking and chatting, then sleeps all day.
    she doesnt drive so asks for lifts
    everywhere!!!!

    she does get sick but is in a well
    time at the moment and has not been sick in 4 years...touch wood!!

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by BerylsMum View Post
    hers is the skin kind..
    i sound so mean... but she stays up
    all night, smoking and chatting, then sleeps all day.
    she doesnt drive so asks for lifts
    everywhere!!!!

    she does get sick but is in a well
    time at the moment and has not been sick in 4 years...touch wood!!
    Given all of that then, I would do what everyone has originally said. Do you have public transport near you? Maybe give her a train timetable and say that you can't afford to be driving her places as you can't have a 3 year old in a car all day every day as it ruins her routine/makes her more irritable. (does for my kids anyway).

    Just carry on with life as usual and act oblivious to what you would normally do for a guest. If she comments on childrens noises, just say "yep, that's life with children!" etc. At the end of the day, it isn't really fair for your kids to lose a playroom or need to be quiet or sit in a car while you drive her around for two weeks. So just remind yourself when you feel you are getting sucked in again, that your children need you more than a very capable 40 year old. I know I might sound like I am overreacting to others, but a draining family member can be very draining and kids do feel everything. So just use that as your personal strength for sticking up for yourself... it's for the kids!

  4. #24
    Witwicky's Avatar
    Witwicky is offline A closed mouth gathers no foot.
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    Based on other stories you have shared about her, I would be saying no full stop.

    ...but if you don't mind her staying, then give her a max time and leave the room as is.

  5. #25
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    ahh That would be my little sister...
    the one that just got married...or as I like to call her, the wicked witch of the west.



    Quote Originally Posted by Witwicky View Post
    Based on other stories you have shared about her, I would be saying no full stop.

    ...but if you don't mind her staying, then give her a max time and leave the room as is.

  6. #26
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    Witwicky is offline A closed mouth gathers no foot.
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    Quote Originally Posted by BerylsMum View Post
    ahh That would be my little sister...
    the one that just got married...or as I like to call her, the wicked witch of the west.
    Geez, rough trot you have. In that case, leave the room as is and impose a max time (i'm strict about this...I really enjoy my personal space. Also, if she sleeps all day then it means it is in the kids play room which isn't fair on them over a long period). I wouldn't charge food...and only give her lifts if it doesn't inconvenience you too much

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    I'd be politely asking her to do thinthisike when you are making dinner specifically ask her to peel potatoes etc and after dinner ask her to pack the dishwasher etc

    Don't make her too comfortable - let her know that she needs to make sure the kids don't get into her things

    I agree, let her know that the kids will be using the room from 8am 'til 6pm and that there's no loud music etc after say 7.30 as the kids will in bed/sleeping/going to bed

    If she says she's going down the street, ask her to bring home a log of bread/litre of milk

    Get the local bus and train timetable so she can get herself around

    Good luck

  8. #28
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    You are all awesome..
    I read your replies to DH and he says you are all the most intelligent people he has heard from all day hahahaha.

    so we wont charge for food, but will not buy extras...its eat with the family/whats in cupboard or buy your own.

    2 weeks and after that we would need to talk about it....before the 2 weeks are up.

    Playroom is to be used after 9.30 am. ( ds and dd go to school and i get back from dropoff at 9.30...) and will need for them to access it till 6pm.

    I will need to bath them.

    also, she is not to use the air con all night and has to stay on 23 degrees.

    she can use the whole of the house and I am more than happy to drop her places, if i am already going out. But other than that, the bus is 2 mins walk.

    sound ok?

  9. #29
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    Sounds good

  10. #30
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    Does sound good. Even though you are not planning to charge fer for food, nothing wrong with asking her to pick up bread and milk while she is out. It's a good reminder that these things cost you and goes further to stop her getting way too comfy.

    Make sure that there is an emphasis on the 2 week expectation.


 

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