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  1. #1
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    Default thoughts/ opinions please...

    hi all, I am interested to hear your thoughts and opinions about this: dp started new job in march of this year, with a 6 month probation period which will end at the start of September. Today at work his boss asked him if he would be willing to take a business trip to Brisbane from the 11th of sept to the 14th of sept. (Out side of the probation period) which is great! and we both think that this can be seen as great thing! that they are considering him with company outside the 6 month probation time -frame... but there is a catch.... and this is where I want your opinions... we are expecting baby no.2 this year and my due is the 19th of sept. ob/gyn wont et me go over this date, and there is a high possibility that the baby will come early then it expected due date... and im concerned that if he does go away for work il end up in labour when he's gone... so.... what would you do??? does he turn it down and risk not staying with the company after his probation period... or does he go, stay with the company but possibly miss the birth of our second baby???

  2. #2
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    depends on how long he was going for, how hard it would be for him to come home if you went into labour and how high the chances are of you going early

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    I would see it as a very good sign that they are happy with his work-to-date.

    If it were me, I would explain the situation, and advise that it is not ideal timing for a trip away. I wouldn't have wanted DH away when we had our second.

    Is it possible that the timing can be changed? If it was a "you must do this or you're fired" type of thing, would he want to work for them anyway? They'll likely not be very family-friendly in the future.

  4. #4
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    df is a tech consultant. and will prob be in meetings, or recruiting the time hes away. we live in melbourne… so it isn't that far away... but far enough if I go into labour... ob/gyn has said baby will be born by the 19th and not later... but due to size, and a few other things most likely will be before that date... but wont know how much earlier until the time... do you think if he explained to his boss what was going on at home etc he could see how he went... even if the baby was already here... I wouldn't be able to cope if her left for a work trip... even one that is a few days long and bring home a new born on my own... a lot of his other colleagues etc have young families too... its just hard to say yes and hard to say no... expecially when so much is riding on it either way... make sense?

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    I was in exactly the same situation and my dh was away for 3 days but i had my mum who came over n helped/ she stayed with me - it ended up being after the birth.

    If the job is ideal for him and a similar one is hard to find, take the risk..
    Last edited by brownsugar; 24-04-2012 at 15:51.

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    As brown sugar mentioned, it would depend on a lot on the support you have. Who will be looking after your first during the labour / while you are in hospital? Would you have someone to drive you to/from hospital, be your support person through labour, bring your first up to hospital for visits?

    How would your DH feel if he missed the birth?

    I think it's worth discussing early on (ie now) with his employer to get a feel for their thoughts.

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    Ugh, such a hard prediciment to be in!

    If it were me, I wouldn't be comfortable with my partner going away and potentially missing the birth of his baby.

    I wouldn't be making any decisions though until he talks to his boss and explains the situation. I would just see if he could chat to them and tell them that he is so flattered they are looking at him still working for the company past probation but this is the situation. You never know, they might be able to make the dates for the trip earlier or later or they might just understand straight away and find someone else to do it, without holding it against him.

    Given that there are other workers with small children, I'm sure they will be reasonable. They obviously think he is a good worker and want him longer term so chances are they will be happy to compromise on this with him.

    Have him talk to them first and there might not even be a decision to make.

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    I don't believe they would end his employment at the company if he doesn't take this opportunity, it's not worthy enough and I know that if you are on probation they can end it with no reason but that comes at a massive financial and resources loss on their part, over something so tiny.
    I'd have your DH approach his manager/boss and explain the situation, and tell him that he is interested in future opportunities but due to the timing of this particular trip he will have to decline this offer.
    They won't terminate his job, probation or not. They have spent time in recruiting him, and no doubt training him, to terminate his job would mean it was all for nothing, and good companies just don't do that because it goes against their policies.

    HTH

  9. #9
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    the only other person that does exactly what df does work on tassie… so his roll is a completely new one for this area... if he were to go... id have support from my family and my best friend... and I know that one of my sister, parents or fil would be willing to look after my daughter... if I did go into labour while he was away... but it isn't the same as having your partner there... I was really sick after dd was born... lost a lot of blood and passed out and was pretty sick afterwards aswell and relied a lot on my partner and family for support and help... and I have feeling it will be similar this time around.... the idea of him missing the birth and not being here freaks me out big time!!! I think when he gets home we will have a chat about things and he can talk to his boss and see what they think.... if he went earlier, say the month before... then I wouldn't worry as much... I think we might need to sit on this one for a bit....

  10. #10
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    My Dh would make the decision not to go before I could think about it.
    If your comfortable with the chance he may not be there and he is as well then that's ok. Otherwise Dh should talk to his boss explaining the circumstances.


 

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