Tales of "moving on" from ttc (but ending up with a bub!)

[ABigDeepBreath]

We TTC for 6 years. I had bring dx with PCOS but it was being controlled by weight loss. We had done a year of clomid and another year of iui which ended in five fail attempts.
I was obsessed I couldn't thinking anything else but the baby to come my life was permanently suspended waiting for baby to show up. I couldn't and wouldn't choose to do certain things or commit to long term stuff just incase I fell pregnant

Than we discovered I had cancer and needed chemo. I had to face the reality that I may not have children, and shift my thinking from getting pregnant too fighting cancer and living. I was forced to stop TTC and to even used contraception for the first time in 6 years so I could protect chemo being passed to dh like an std

7 months later I finished chemo. Two after that I got a remission status and permission to stop using contraception when dtd. We planed to go back to my fs in the new year four months away. Two cycles later I was pregnant. Dd turns 3 in August.

My 2nd pregnancy was similar. We spent 8 months TTC. My emotions from pervious TTC were still raw and 8 moths felt like 5 years. Than I was dx with an auto immune disorder and I thought I probably wouldn't have another bub and just have dd. I needed a pet scan and bone marrow aspiration four days later I got a BFP. (that was an angle bub) five months later I got our BFP for newbie she will arrive in a few weeks

Wow. LittlePinkHen, your story is amazing and so humbling. It's hard to find an appropriate way to respond, except to thank you for sharing this. It really gives me hope and also perspective. Thank you.

[ABigDeepBreath]

yep!! this happened to me and DH

I fell pregnant by accident and had a miscarriage at 9wks. about 8 or 10mth later we decided we would ttc and I thought I would get pregnant pretty quick.

23 months ttc, i had tried everything short of medical intervention: SMEP, tracking my cycle, using preseed, not using preseed, begging, praying, crying, putting my life on hold

the last 4mths of ttc really took a toll on me and I realised I had to find some sort of happiness and plan a life without kids.

the first month we actively tried NOT to concieve, we dtd on CD10 (6days before my preiod tracker said I would O) and didn't do it again for the rest of my cycle because we didnt want to get pregnant.

we joked that i was prob pregnant and a couple of week later - yep BFP.

That is so awesome!!

[fionaalice]

Congratulations Abigdeepbreath, I hope the pregnancy develops well

I had heard these mystical stories of people falling pregnant after they stop trying, and I hated people telling me them. I thought if all the fertility treatment didn't work then obviously nothing would. I did not believe I needed to relax. Hearing that really drove me insane.

We were ttc for 6 years, 3 and half of IVF. We made the decision to stop treatment when my DH turned 40 and I was 39. It was taking it's toll physically and emotionally. Rationally I was fine with the decision to stop, but emotionally it was incredibly hard and I went through a bit of a rough patch.
We decided we would take some time out and go live in Bali for 5 months - spending the money we had saved in case we fell pregnant.
We were there for maybe a month and I realised I was pregnant only my 2nd natural pregnancy - but expected it would end in miscarriage as it had before. I did have some early bleeding and thought it was over but here I am at 37 weeks waiting for my boy to arrive anyday.
I put it down to enjoying life, warm weather, good food, love and fate.
It's a miracle - no other explanation.
so these miracles do sometimes happen, I can't believe I am one of 'those' stories.

Best wishes to all.

[Keerah]

Rachael3 - This time last year I was working with endurance horses. Those things are almost crazier than race horses and the numbers that were kept in some of the paddocks were just plain dangerous conditions without bringing pregnancy into the equasion. That is initially why we decided for my DP to carry. I ended up leaving that job because they were really inconsistant with paying me, but I wish I had of left sooner to carry.

Now, Im not worried about it, I know everything will fall into place when it is supposed to, I will get on with life and follow the things I want in my career and deal with things as life throws them at me. I know everything will fall into place when it is ready to happen, so I just need to remind myself to enjoy the ride instead of worrying about it all the time.

[Little-Pink-Hen]

Wow. LittlePinkHen, your story is amazing and so humbling. It's hard to find an appropriate way to respond, except to thank you for sharing this. It really gives me hope and also perspective. Thank you.

Thanks. Congrats on your BFP!! I look forward to following your story and hearing of bubs arrival

[ABigDeepBreath]

Fionaalice, thank you for sharing your story. All the best for bub's imminent birth!

It's really wonderful to hear about these long term ttc journeys with unexpected and happy endings! Keep them coming!

[Rachael3]

So did you stop work altogether? I found it hard when I had made lifestyle/job changes to reduce stress, only to still be childless 18 mths later. And i didn't even have to go through ivf. I can't imagine if I wasn't working at all - my mental health would be a mess! It would possibly make me more stressed. I guess we are all different in how we cope with this. I hope your bub comes to meet you soon!

Yes I stopped altogether officially unemployed and don't plan to go back for a while. I was there for nearly 8 years and the last couple of years my attitude towards work changed also felt the stress in my body which wasn't great after ET. I started back at the gym and I get odd jobs done for our home, do acupuncture and go to IVF appointments without the hassle of arranging time off from work. I won't consider going back to work till next year but will review this again as time gets closer. I found it more stressful coping with both IVF and work and trying to keep a pretend smile on my face at work, that made me even more depressed. Now I can deal with this at my own pace. All the best to you and your BFP

[Rachael3]

Rachael3 - Now, Im not worried about it, I know everything will fall into place when it is supposed to, I will get on with life and follow the things I want in my career and deal with things as life throws them at me. I know everything will fall into place when it is ready to happen, so I just need to remind myself to enjoy the ride instead of worrying about it all the time.

I agree, it just feels that I put my career first before having a baby now I regret it a little especially that it's taking so long. Hopefully I'll get that buzz back to go work again or preferably have a bub that would definitely give me something to work for again.

[Trying to get by]

I was told yesterday that we will not be able to have a baby. My eggs are "oozy" and not good for fertilisation. On my first IVF/ICSI cycle we had one embryo from 5 eggs (the other four had no pronuclei at all), but 'Spot' didn't stick the landing. We've just completed the second round where they injected three viable eggs, but nothing came of them -- no pronuclei, just nothing. We also got one two-celled egg, which was a bit of a concern. Given this, we've been told that the egg quality is so bad that we are likely never to have children of our own. My husband is against a donor egg (although I would be willing) because he wants to have a baby with me, not some random person. We will go through ICSI one more time in around four months' time to allow for a new batch of eggs to cycle through, and pray that other medications such as DHEA take effect during that time. But we are both just gutted, and I burst into tears regularly. I know there are stories of people who have been trying, got nowhere, then spontaneously conceived, but I know in my heart we are not going to be one of those couples. Has anyone been in the same situation? How do you accept the inevitable? Because I really struggle with people at work announcing their pregnancies.
Can anyone help?

[ABigDeepBreath]

I'm sorry I can't offer any suggestions, Trying to get by. You might find something helpful in other threads in this section. Take care.