My kids are just under 22 months apart. I think there are pros and cons of any age gap and this is what im experiencing atm and so far (DS is only 2.5 months old though so i am not far along this journey):
- It is very hard being pregnant with a child who is still quite physically dependent on you and still waking at night. It was also hard being close to useless at time while dealing with pregnancy and knowing i wasnt being a good parent to DD (although this part probably comes with any age gap).
- I feel like i missed out with being able to share the excitement of pregnancy with DD as she was too young to understand
- I am very lucky with DD in that she has been fantastic with DS, although that is not always the case and I cant really ever leave them alone as she doesnt really understand what can hurt him and what cant. This is tough.
- It is very hard taking a toddler and a baby outside of the house. Its not just the prep and that type of stuff but DD is very hard to have outside the house because she is pushing boundaries all the time and likes to run off. There is only so much I can do to control her while with a nb.
- I feel like it would have been easier if DD had been old enough to reason with when DS came along. I really cant wait until she understands things a bit better and I can bargain for good behaviour. There is just very little i can do about her tantrums atm and, like i said above, it makes it hard to leave the house.
- Tantrums at this age can just be terrible. They really upset the baby and this makes it all very stressful.
- A pro is that DD was still having a day nap which was a life saver in pregnancy. Even if i didnt get a nap in, the lie down was very necessary!!
I am not sure what a 2.5 yo is like yet, so not sure if this would make it an easier age gap or not. I think a bigger age gap would be preferable when thinking about how you will deal with pregnancy and when the baby comes along. However, obviously there is a lot more to it than just how you will cope at this time. For us, this age gap had the advantage that they will only be one year apart at school (so possible for me to get back to work quicker), and Im getting older and want the possibility of a third before i get into my late thirties. If it wasnt for these things, I would probably have preferred a three year age gap.
of course, these things often don't come down to logic. When you want a baby, you want a baby!! i remember lapping up posts such as this when i was in the same position as you and really wanting #2 and hoping to read something where everyone said this was the perfect age gap!!