Bedtime nightmare

**mummabear90** · 22-04-2012 13:53

I had DD in her bassinet from birth and is now 4 months. About a month ago DH had to go away for work and we went with him and our port-a-cot broke so she ended up sleeping in our bed. The one week away turned into 4 weeks away, and now DD wont sleep without me next to her. I am starting to get terrible back pain and headaches, I'm assuming from my sleeping position and from sleeping with one eye open making sure DH doesn't roll on top of little miss.
I know I won't be able to let her CIO to put her back into her cot, but was just wondering if theres a way for a smooth transition. The max I can leave her crying is 5 minutes and by then I'm basically bawling my eyes out coz I just feel like the worst mother in the world. I need help! What can I do?
She also won't sleep in the day anymore unless I lay with her and as soon as she realises I've gone she's awake screaming.

**jakesmom** · 22-04-2012 19:34

have you tried soothing bub with dummy and rocking the cot a little? or I even find singing to them helps..or saying "shshhh" she will eventually get use to the cot just have to stick it out..don't give up she is still really young and still learning to self settle.

**Thunderstorm** · 22-04-2012 21:47

I co- slept with DS until he was 2 1/2yo because he wouldn't sleep in the cot.

It was squishy in my bed if DP was there also so I found having a double bed/matress in bubs room or a spare room for just me and bubs was better.

You could also put her cot next to your bed and one she falls asleep gently move her over to the cot, If she wakes you can bring her back in with you.

**daylily** · 23-04-2012 16:26

I understand, we're struggling with this. Are you breastfeeding? I try to get DS to sleep at least half the night in the cot, so I 1) feed him to sleep 2) hold him for 10-15 mins 3) put him down in the cot with my hand under his neck and my cheek next to his and I stay there for a minute or two before gradually lifting my head and then eventually remove my hand. Not always successful first time, but it's getting better.

**daylily** · 23-04-2012 18:48

Extra thought - I can't bear letting my little one cry either - if you look up 'ask Dr Sears' on Google it refers you to a website with heaps of gentlesleep solutions and ideas for putting down the baby smoothly - I've got a super light sleeper and I found it useful.

**mummabear90** · 23-04-2012 22:15

Thanks for the replies! I am breastfeeding, and I've found since being in our bed she wants up through the night to feed, or I'll wake to find her giving me a hickey on my boob or arm! I've tried the whole feeding to sleep then gently placing her in the cot, I've even lent over the cot and fed her to sleep that way, but as soon as I pull away it sounds like I'm murdering her!
Sometimes the sshhh sounds and gently patting her bum works but I have to hold the dummy in her mouth and then shes awake 20 minutes later.
I've just been lent 'sos save our sleep' by Trizzie Hall from a mum at mothers group. Out of the ten of us that go theres only two who dont use her routine or have adapted it to their own routine. I've only just started reading but from what I gathered in discussion at mothers group its just another version of CC.
We've set the cot in her room and I'm afraid to take it down and move it into ours. Ha little bit silly I know but we've had a few dramas with it. Thinking of buying a new travel cot and using that next to the bed instead. I love cuddling her, and spend my entire day cuddling her but I really want my nights back cuddling up to my DH and moving around if I got uncomfortable. And I feel so selfish for thinking that way!

**Izy** · 23-04-2012 22:23

I works absolutely look into doing a sidecar arrangement wroth the choir against your bed. Best of both worlds. she's back in her cot, no risk of dh squishing her but still kind of in bed with you and easy acess for bf

*~Thank goodness for my phone...It is my sanity & excuse for most things~*

**Hollywood** · 23-04-2012 22:47

I'd highly recommend the 'No Cry Sleep Solution' for you. I've been reading it (DD is 6 months) and have gotten a heap of good tips from it. It's not an overnight quick fix method, but it really suits those of us who prefer not to let our babies cry to sleep. The good news is, there is a solution for us, we don't have to just suffer until our kids reach around 4 years and start sleeping (I did it the hard way with DS and he finally slept better at 3.5 - 4 years).