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  1. #1
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    Default making friends is hard :(

    i have accepted the fact that i dont have any friends. I have made many efforts and anyone who i mearly become close to, drops off like a dead fly.

    Im 27 and have a 14mthd old DD who is my world. My DH is my best friend. I asked him if there is something wrong with me because i just cant "keep" a 'girl'friend. He said i am the best friend he has ever had.

    I moved away from home and my 2 close freinds 5 years ago. We kept intouch for the first year then they fell off the face of the earth.

    A freind i used to work with knew i had my bub's and was keen to visit, she told me when she'd be over to see bub's and me. So i got all prepared only to find she never turned up. I texted her saying "hey, r u still comming today?"...She wrote back..."think you have the wrong number. And That was that.

    My mother's group was not the greatest success. In the end i realised i had nothing in common with these women except my daughter. They all returned to work and i have not heard from them in 4 months

    I found a friend i knew when i was living in the city through a social website. We got along so well. We would PM eachother about complete randomness. She'd share her intimate problems and id share mine, just as girlfriends do, i guess. I told her i dont have freinds and it's great to be able to talk to her. I'd ask her for help and vice versa.
    Then all of a sudden i got the cold shoulder.
    Her last PM to me was: "some people need to get a life and stop telling me about their boring useless lives....or get a friend".....
    I didnt reply, at first i thought it was a PM she sent to me by mistake. So i waited to see if she'd respond with anything like "oops!! sorry wrong person!!"....but no. It was intended for me. I dont know where i went wrong with that one.

    Next was a freind i got to know thru DH. We became very close when i told her i was pregnant with DD. She was like a 2nd mum to me throughout my pregnancy. She would drop past and check in on me after i had DD, without me even asking! She was first at the hospital before family when i had DD. I asked how she found out so quick and she said thru work (she works with DH)
    She told me she was pregnant with her 6th baby a month after i had my DD. She said i was the first she told! Since that day.....i was no longer important. The phone calls stopped. The visits stopped.
    It got worse once she had her baby. I found out she had her DS 3 weeks later, which is fine with me. It's just that she was so in my face with my DD. Anyways, I could never catch her at home for a chat, if i PM'd her about how she is or whatever she wouldnt answer and instead ask about DD.
    Now that we are TTC for our second, she is back on board wanting to know everything. To the point she asks if i have tested yet?
    I dont know if i want her knowing about my personal stuff anymore, cos it only seems to matter when it suits her.

    So, ive given up. I guess. Im a loner because I am over being ****ed over!
    I have my wonderful supportive family, they just live a bit far away from us. I have my sister who lives on the other side of the country. We are very close.

    I found out i was pregnant with our 2nd just yesterday. I am 5 weeks tomorrow. I was a bit sad i didnt have that special freind i could tell. So instead i msg'd my sister and told her. She called and we spoke for ages

    I know i can always depend on my family. They will always be there. They wont flogg me off because im boring or uninteresting. They are loyal and honest.

    I'm sorry if this has come off as if i feel sorry for myself. I dont.
    Sometimes, life gets hard. I would love a friend i could catch up with and talk to on a regular basis, but i dont. I dont know what i do wrong with my friendships.

    I guess starting over at making friends is hard, i have kind of lost alot of trust in who i open upto now because I never know how long they will stick around.

    Thankyou for taking the time to read .
    Last edited by nice piece of crumpet; 19-04-2012 at 15:48.

  2. #2
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    Not sure what to say. Big hugs x


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  3. The Following User Says Thank You to bellieellie For This Useful Post:

    nice piece of crumpet  (19-04-2012)

  4. #3
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    Congratulations on your pregnancy

    Making friends as an adult can be so hard and it is even harder sometimes to maintain long distance friendshisp.

    Maybe there are women on here that meet up in your area?

    Where abouts do you live?

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to MsTruth For This Useful Post:

    nice piece of crumpet  (19-04-2012)

  6. #4
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    I so know how you feel I can't believe your 'friends' were so mean to you. I find it amazing how quickly people can turn from nice to icy cold. That must have really hurt. Don't be sorry for feeling bad
    It's really lonely isn't it. I am the same. I'm 22 and I have one girlfriend who I feel comfortable enough to talk about anything with, but really we're in different worlds. I'm home with 2 babies, married and studying online. She's at uni, going clubbing, travelling the world.
    Other than her, I have lots of trouble making friends too. The girls I was friends with in high school disappeared when I had my DD and I guess being stung like that has made me wary. I put my armor up and distance myself whenever there is even a chance of making a friend, and ruin it for myself, because I don't want to be rejected again. I'm really shy too and I always worry that people will think I'm weird.
    It's so great that you've got your family's support, though. And congratulations on your pregnancy, too!

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to bookwormmum For This Useful Post:

    nice piece of crumpet  (19-04-2012)

  8. #5
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    Wow, can't believe the people you thought were friends would be that mean...glad that you have family and your dh to fall back on. Are there any local playgroups you could attend to meet other mums? All the best with your pregnancy

    Sent from my LT15i

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to zzz For This Useful Post:

    nice piece of crumpet  (19-04-2012)

  10. #6
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    I'm right with you. I too know how you feel. Things change. My mothers group has just died after 5 great years. Our kids have grown and change. I would never have been friends with most of the girls had it not been for our kids. But it is still sad. I'm so long for that special friend. My big boy has started school this year so who knows maybe I'll click with another mum. Things seem to change in cycles.

    Congrats on the pregnancy, perhaps you could join a new mothers group?

    Or just pm me!!!

  11. The Following User Says Thank You to wigglemum For This Useful Post:

    nice piece of crumpet  (19-04-2012)

  12. #7
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    Which state are you in op??


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  13. #8
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    Hi ladies, I would like to keep.my identity private. I am in vic.

    Sent from my X10i using BubHub

  14. #9
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    i am the same.... i have lived where i am for almost 6 years and i have DF as a friend.. I have just made my FIRST friend a few weeks ago after chatting to her at my old work everyday and making her coffee.... That is it tho 2 friends 6 years... I moved away from all my friends 6 years ago ... It sucks... BIg hugs and CONGRATULATIONS

  15. The Following User Says Thank You to lese82 For This Useful Post:

    nice piece of crumpet  (19-04-2012)

  16. #10
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    ~Marigold~ is offline You make me happy, when skies are grey
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    Hi

    Is it OK if I send you a PM on here?


 

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