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  1. #21
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    You sound just like I did. Except I didn't have the brains to read such a forum and post the question first! Wish I did.

    Perhaps you should read the post I just posted above. I never had the 'is something missing' feeling either. I think it was more of a 'should we or shouldn't we' feeling if that makes sense. Anyway, perhaps my post will help wity your decision making. Hopefully you'll be one of themillions happy if you have another. Good luck!

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    summastarlet  (18-04-2012)

  3. #22
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    In my case it wasn't by choice, I am single and unable to have any more anyway, however I have come to be really happy with my situation and just having DD.

    I am going to be brutally honest about my reasons... Personally I am not very good at being a mum. I don't really enjoy it. I love DD more than anything and she is well looked after, I do a lot for her. But I really don't enjoy doing "kid" stuff. I can't WAIT until the time I spend with DD is enjoyable for me too. It's starting to get better now that she is at school, but there are still many many times when I'm like "*groan* not lego and the little mermaid AGAIN..." I can't imagine going back to the start and having to spend another x amount of years doing kid stuff with another child. I also didn't cope well with the sleepless nights and lack of independence that having a baby/young child brought. Again, now DD is 5 I am starting to get my life back, I can't imagine giving it up for another child and going through all of that again.

    I can't WAIT until DD is old enough to take exploring - travel overseas, volunteer, go snorkelling, rock climbing, whatever... (or alternatively, old enough to say "no thanks I'm not interested" and I can just go without her). I desperately want her to go to the (very expensive) private school I went to and loved. I want to be able to buy her a car, give her a house deposit, fund a gap year after she finishes school, do nice things for her friends... adding another child would make all that near impossible.

    Sorry for the long post, it's something that I've spent a lot of time thinking about!

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  5. #23
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    I desperately wanted another at one point but seeing as I'm on my own and have been since ds was born I couldn't. I am 42 now a d realistically I'm too old now . Ds would have loved a brother but I think I'm over it now. Ds is a very challenging child and I know this sounds selfish but I can't wait to have money to myself again without forever spending it on my child. It is really hard being a single mum, I don't know how mums with more than one and are single cope quite frankly.

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    summastarlet  (18-04-2012)

  7. #24
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    We have one who we love dearly, but I would love another, but we've been trying for six months with no luck and as I'm 39 I'm scared I'm out of eggs.

    I have seven brothers so I can't comprehend a small family, I'm trying to get my head round only one but feel jealous when I see mums with three kids. So I don't think I'm finished yet. We will try Ivf if we can't get pregnant naturally, or donor eggs.

    I love hanging out with bubba and hated my job anyway, there were some aspects I enjoyed though, which is why I'll probably go back part time.

    I think having the money because we're older makes it so much more enjoyable because we can join things and have coffee and baby cino's together. But I'm realising sometimes you can't fix everything and enjoy what you have.

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    summastarlet  (18-04-2012)

  9. #25
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    hi Im sitting here with my 9 day old in my arms and my 13yr old at school, thinking how much has changed. My kids are both to my husband and I had my son when I was 18. We felt complete as a family of 3, it was hard though you have to justify all the time why you only have one child. I decided this year before I turned 31 I wanted to try for a little girl/healthy baby. We were lucky to have her Do what works for you, your family. We have taken my son overseas and devoted to his younger years while we both worked full time. No I can do the same with this little one. Find your feet and your gut will teel you when its right

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  11. #26
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    I don’t know anyone with 2+ kids who isn’t struggling financially, winging, whining and complaining.
    My baby is less than 2 months old but I am in no rush to steal his thunder. He is perfect and who says the next baby will be good for our family.
    My friend said she wants another one and I nearly blurted out ‘why, was your first one no good’.
    Everyone thinks differently but for me it’s knowing my financial and personal limits. If we have 2 we will be stuck renting and living in **** suburbs and I won’t be going back to work for a long time. With one we can have a great life and move forward financially etc.

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  13. #27
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    Thanks everyone for sharing. Definitely given me some food for thought xx

  14. #28
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    I don't know why exactly but I always thought I only wanted one child. DH has always felt the same to thankfully. I did not enjoy being pregnant at all and hated my c-section. Add to that I'm 37 in a few months. I had a miscarriage before falling pregnant with DD. I truly believe we were only meant to have one so I'm enjoying being a complete family of 3

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  16. #29
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    Didn't have a chance to read all the other replies to this earlier. Waterlily you sound just like I did! I forgot to add this to my post in the other thread - I at times was secretly hoping for a miscarriage and then of course would feel horrible for even having the thought.

    Shelle also you sound like me in every other way possible.

    Regretting not having the brains to post on this forum about this issue like you did OP!

    P.S. How do you 'subscribe' to a thread please?

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  18. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by mumsies View Post
    We have had one and are keeping it that way. We had said two, but after a tough pregnancy and shocking labor and with our gorgeous baby in our arms we knew that we had our family. Have we discussed it since, of course, have we had clucky moments definitely. But we are a complete family. Theres no rhyme or reason to it, we just knew.
    Same as above! Pregnancy sucked, labour was traumatic, PTSD and PND... One is enough. I never was the maternal type who wanted kids.. I always swore I'd have none. One is enough :-)

    ***Happy to be a Mummy & Daddy of ONE! :-) ***

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    summastarlet  (18-04-2012)


 

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