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  1. #51
    GluttonForPunishment's Avatar
    GluttonForPunishment is offline Bubhub Award Winner - 2011- Most Optimistic Poster and Newbie of the Year Awards
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    Not at all!

  2. #52
    OJandMe's Avatar
    OJandMe is offline I am the strength my children will have.
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    That is awesomely well written.


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    This is fantastic! TB&M you are pretty awesome.. You really just put out a great vibe

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    Great post Theboys&me! I wish all women felt as strongly to support each other in motherhood, no matter what our relationship status is.

    I remember feeling like a single mum in my marriage... So I thought ok I can do this on my own... So I left! Never looked back!
    There seems to be this perception out there that if you are a single mum you must have had the baby out of wedlock or from a dirty one nightstand, never to know the fathers name!
    Who cares if that really is the case.
    I fell straight into a new relationship, but still had that feeling society was looking down on me... You know as a 30 something and her boyfriend, hush hush, whisper... The kid isn't even his! The pressure was intense... I needed validation not only for me but from our small town... Damn I needed a ring on my finger... I needed everyone to really know he loved me... Almost five years later... No ring. The relationship did not last... For many reasons, but I then found myself in the next stage of single parenting.... Dating again! With my two baby daddies in the wings... The sperm donor ex husband and the step dad who chose to love and raise her.
    Enter my current love... The man who chose to take us on as a package deal... Double baggage and all! With ring firmly placed on my finger... The pressure to marry to appease society seems to have gone... Faded. I am lucky enough to have a great man but I also know that I can actually make it on my own... Love, support and nurture my child no matter who we reside with. Sometimes I actually daydream back to the time it was just the two of us... Where I made all the rules and didn't need to take anyone else's point of view into consideration.
    So all in all sometimes it would be a lot easier to just say "Yes, I'm a single mum and proud" rather than have to explain "No, he is not her dad... Not not that last one... The other one... You know the other one I told you about"

  5. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pickledpink View Post
    Great post Theboys&me! I wish all women felt as strongly to support each other in motherhood, no matter what our relationship status is.

    I remember feeling like a single mum in my marriage... So I thought ok I can do this on my own... So I left! Never looked back!
    There seems to be this perception out there that if you are a single mum you must have had the baby out of wedlock or from a dirty one nightstand, never to know the fathers name!
    Who cares if that really is the case.
    I fell straight into a new relationship, but still had that feeling society was looking down on me... You know as a 30 something and her boyfriend, hush hush, whisper... The kid isn't even his! The pressure was intense... I needed validation not only for me but from our small town... Damn I needed a ring on my finger... I needed everyone to really know he loved me... Almost five years later... No ring. The relationship did not last... For many reasons, but I then found myself in the next stage of single parenting.... Dating again! With my two baby daddies in the wings... The sperm donor ex husband and the step dad who chose to love and raise her.
    Enter my current love... The man who chose to take us on as a package deal... Double baggage and all! With ring firmly placed on my finger... The pressure to marry to appease society seems to have gone... Faded. I am lucky enough to have a great man but I also know that I can actually make it on my own... Love, support and nurture my child no matter who we reside with. Sometimes I actually daydream back to the time it was just the two of us... Where I made all the rules and didn't need to take anyone else's point of view into consideration.
    So all in all sometimes it would be a lot easier to just say "Yes, I'm a single mum and proud" rather than have to explain "No, he is not her dad... Not not that last one... The other one... You know the other one I told you about"
    Oh I'm sorry you feel the need to explain. Snoopy buggars asking anyway!!

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    That's fantastic very enjoyable to
    Read and very very well written

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    Couldn't back you up more. My husband and separated 2 years ago (only for 6 months). Though I constantly felt judged by friends even though he walked out. Yes I took up smoking. Yes I had 2 bottles of wine on the weekend and dropped down to 33kg. I was still an awesome mother home cooked meals every night and functioned as best a I could. I just don't get why it always falls back on the mother an never the father! I own a beauty saln and during my hard time I had a client in carrying on about one of her little boys friends and how he was a bit rough. Her excuse for it was "his mum is a single mum what do you expect". I could not believe my ears!!! Well I ever booked her in again.

    Some people. Unbelievable!!! For some reason even though we are in the 20th century, single mums still have this stigma about it and I hope it changes quick smart


 

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