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  1. #1
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    Default Aspie partners and bonding

    Going crazy in this little household. I'm quite convinced my hubby has aspergers. We have been together for 7 years now and every week he gets that little bit harder to love. In fact I breathe a sigh of relief when Monday comes and realise we have 'survived' another weekend with Daddy.

    This weekend has been particularly tough as he was emotionally abusive to our 3 yo - he told him to get stuffed very loudly and aggressively when Ollie didn't want to do something his way. I said that was totally inappropriate and he didn't get what was so bad about behaving that way.

    We talked about it the next morning and he apologised for his behaviour (as he usually does the next day - though I'm not sure he really thinks he has done wrong) and said that he is really having trouble bonding with our son, that our son is totally out of control and undisciplined. He feels rejected by our son and unable to communicate with 'the monster'. He is talking about our 3 year old who is (suspected) autistic. I'm reading this and thinking 'what a ****' but we are so screwed up in the house that all I could think at the time is 'he is finally communicating!!'

    I've put this post here because I understand autism is genetic and I'm wondering if any families out there have both adult and child autism and have similar issues.

    I always seem to read stories about wonderful and caring fathers that invest in their autistic child's future, investigate and education themselves to help deal with the daily challenges and love and adore their exceptional needs kids. Unfortunately I don't have that and I wonder where I go from here.....

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    Penz  (18-02-2013)

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    mmm totally identify with what you have said. The more kids i meet with ASDs the more parents I see with traits as well. it makes it hard, but then kinda easier too as they get their kids in a more empathetic way. not that they are good at empathy of course, but they have been there as kids themselves so they know what life is like in many ways. I cannot give muh advice, my dh went for a night away this morning and our dd came in singing "daddy's gone, hooray" - you have to worry when even the kids are glad to be rid of them!

  4. #3
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    thank you very much for responding. good news is that, following discussions, hubbie is willing to go and get counselling and we can finally get in place methods and understandings to learn how to function effectively as a family. We found an awesome psychologist who not only specialises in Adult Aspergers but also has children on the spectrum himself. wow!!! Wish us luck

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    twotrunks  (26-04-2012)

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    Hi Hallsdownunder,
    I can't even begin to describe how relieved i was to read your post....(that may sound a bit odd) but i am dealing with the exact same thing that you are. My husband has ASD and some days i just look at him and my 4 year old daughter fighting about some trivial matter and i think 'geez i swear i have two children and am a single mother. Often i watch My husband ignore my daughter when she is so desperate to get his attention and i think 'how could you be so heartless.' i can relate you your post so much i feel like laughing with relief that i am no the only one trying to juggle both child and hubby, often this task alone seems like quite a full time job. i know that you posted your original post a few years ago but i would love to chat more. sometimes just knowing your not alone can stop you wanting to . i hope that the counselling has helped. by hubby and i have also had to seek help at times when things got to much to bear. looking forward to hearing from you


 

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