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  1. #1
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    Angry vent...feeling like i "should" be wanting a vbac....

    hello

    i posted the other week about c section dates...anyway i was convinced i would get my elective date today....my private ob has fobbed me off til now maybe next friday which is the 27th and i will be 39+4.........i honestly feel like he wants to wait and try a vbac if possible ( i have not physically nor psychologically prepared for one)..when he asked me if i definately wanted a c sect and i said yes he seriously looked dissapointed..........i then agreed to an internal out of my own curiousity and of course baby was wayyyyyyyyy up high (just like last time)....last week he said it would be tues/wed/thur..now its friday ffs........i honestly left feeling like i "should" be waiting for a vbac..that having an elective is "bad"....its only an extra few days but the issue is that i am now left feeling like am being a wuss for wanting an elective and that its "wrong" . no one else i know has had to wait so long to get booked in....this baby feels even bigger than DS and he never engaged....just pi$$ED righttttttttttttttttt off.

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    I would not be happy at all!!!! Baby could come any day now!! You need a date! I would be demanding one or telling them you will be making a formal complaint against him. And this from a Private Ob!!!! Terrible!!

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    omg..it takes me hours / days to calm down when im mega cheesed .....and late pg hormones dont help !!! my DH booked 6 wks off work starting from 39wks SPECIFICALLY to be at home when im in hospy to look after DS and then take care of DS after i get home. should gone public and saved myself the money...my credit card would be paid off now...........

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    You have every right to be irate. I think you need to demand a date. If this is something which has been the plan all along and that you are mentally prepared for then he needs to communicate with you. As someone who also has zero interest in vbac I really empathise with you. Massive hugs!

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    We should swap obs. I'm desperate for a VBAC and mine isn't supportive. You want his details? (jk).

    Seriously though, you need to tell him in no uncertain terms you do NOT want a VBAC and demand a date. Is it that he's perhaps more keen to wait until 40 weeks rather than being totally pro VBAC? I'd ask him for his exact reasons for not booking you in. This is your birth and you have the right to call the shots in this situation. Good luck - I hope he listens and respects your wishes.

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    Also having an elective caesar is not 'bad', what it is, is your business! Ignore other people's negative comments on this if you have made up your mind.

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    Quote Originally Posted by missie_mack View Post
    I guess because baby is high he is thinking he has time up his sleeve and is wanting to leave the baby in for as long as possible, with bubs best interest at heart. I appreciate it is frustrating but hang in there- it really won't be long now and you might even get some extra rest in before bub arrives if your DH is home from work.
    That is an excellent point. I'm a little pi$$Ed with drs myself at the moment so probably not looking at things as calmly today.
    Last edited by babyla; 16-04-2012 at 15:45.

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    I'd call him and tell him that you're feeling very anxious and stressed about this and you would really like to be booked in sooner rather than later for your own peace of mind. And ask why he is waiting. It may not be for reasons of VBAC, it may be for bub's health if he feels bub just isn't ready yet (as pp suggested). Anyway, ask him to tell you why he wants to wait, and then if you disagree that its necessary, ask him to please book you in so you have a date.

    If its bothering you this much, its not good for you. Your emotional health is important too. I'd call him.

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    thanks ladies

    i guess its just annoying cos i feel like no communication is taking place.......eg. first i was told he did them at 39wks...fair enuf so i assumed it would on 39 wks hence the booking of DH's leave months ago.....

    ...as at last appt he told me we would book the date at this appt today...and that it would be a tues/wed/thur/....now i get told that his scheduled "op' day is Fridays..so wtf tell me last appt just last week it would be a tues/wed/thur??? so that cheesed me off too......................

    he did a quick scan and didnt say anything about baby's size..this baby is NOT small i can guarantee it..DS was 3.9kg at 41wks. the FH has measure spot on for dates the whole way thru as well....there has never been any discussion about baby not being ready, he didnt say anything today about size issues.

    i can only get a decent nights sleep if im on panadeine...when i dont take it i hardly sleep and ive been trying to not take it...i either have bad hip pain or cant breathe (prob cos baby is so high).......trying to rest with a 22 month old..i wish!!!!!!!!!!!!

    i guess im just feeling ripped off and not kept up to speed with the process of organisning an elective...i toyed for a long time about whether to try a vbac and decided against it. its not the end of the world having to wait but when u pay top $$$ u kinda 'expect' a bit extra and like every one to feel in control and have say????? i really feel like ive wasted my money...anyway im so cross at the mo and probably not in the best frame of mind....i guess i like things organised....

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    Sooooo know how you feel!!!! I can top that - my hospital actually FORGOT to book my c-section in!! So now everything is booked out and the dr made it VERY clear they would def appreciate if I could come in as an emergency c-section, with labour or any other issue. I am still soooo angry!! The only thing that was comforting for me with an elective c-section was that it is easier to find someone for our toddler and now even that they have taken off me. Tbh I think some drs have THEIR idea/plan etc in their head and they dont even hear what the mum is saying!


 

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