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  1. #1
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    Default Do you find it hard being a parent..

    knowing that your friends with young bubs go out night time/dinner time and their bubs behave beautifully,no issues.. but whenever you have gone out ,its always ended up in bub refusing to feed, crying, not settling in pram and invariably you having to go home early??

    Since DDs birth i've gone out with her 5 times and everytime i've had to leave in 20-30min as DD would get very unsettled. I dont go out on dinner partys/ gathering at night time anymore.. but knowing other mums with bubs DDs age do go out and manage well does make it hard coping with it all at times..

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    I have never really been able to take my boys out for long periods of a time when they were babies and much preferred to get one of there grandparents to watch them for a couple of hrs so I could recharge. Do you have anyone that can watch your bub maybe?

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    My children are terrible going out but by me staying home with them I
    Figure they will never learn. I just push through with gritted teeth and long for the day I don't spend most of my time out pulling them into line or blushing from embarrassment.

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    DH can watch her if i want to go out alone at night (with friends).. but we do feel llike going out as a family togather without worrying that DD will be whingy, impossible to handle ..

  5. #5
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    I thought that my first was awful to take out but once I had my second I found that it was probably due to my stress more than her being difficult.

    I think because I would try to make her not cry, go to sleep, stay still, etc. for the whole time, we would both get stressed and it would end badly.
    Once I realised that and went with the flow a little more I found going out was not such a chore.

    I always made/make sure they are not overtired, have easy food/snacks or a boob/bottle on hand even if they have already eaten and try to settle them as I would at home rather than being worried or embarrassed about what people would think.

    I was always a bit worried about breastfeeding in public but once I realised that people notice a crying baby more than a breastfeeding one it all became easier :-)

    ETA - as much as i hated it I also starting taking people up on their offers to hold or try to settle for me, even just so I could eat! it's not an insult - most of the time people can see if you're stressed and genuinely want to help.
    Last edited by 2girls1boyplus1; 15-04-2012 at 09:01.

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    In all honesty I found parenting quite hard from pregnancy through to 2 years of age.. He was a fussy, whiny, clingy baby who barely slept or ate etc etc.. But since then I've been lovingly it and don't find parenting particularly challenging. It's all relative though.. I only have 1 shy, quiet, sweet natured boy.. If I was to have more I think my answer would be different:-)

    ***Happy to be a Mummy & Daddy of ONE! :-) ***

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    It was a tad difficult when she was younger, (6 months and younger)but we learnt to pick our places. We had certain restaurants that we knew would be empty from say 5-6.30ish as they were our local so if we wanted to go out to dinner we would go there. Same with cafes, we always picked ones with outdoor seating and that were almost empty so that if DD did start to become fussy, it wouldn't bother too many people.

    If we had to go to a certain restaurant and we knew it would be busy, say for a big birthday bash, we would always take DD outside for a bit of fresh air if she started to unsettle, or back into the car to have a nap..it was a bit like a tag team sometimes..but you do what you have to.
    If we were going to friends houses for the evening and DD started to become unsettled, i'd just take her into one of the bedrooms to chill out with me whilst I fed/played with her for a bit.
    For parks, we picked quiet ones again..
    In fact, most of that applies to when she was a toddler too..

    We also noticed that she picked up on our stress levels so we just learnt to be pretty laid back with it all.
    If we had done everything we could and she was still fussing, or if she had had THE biggest scream session in the world before we could get her outside.....well, so what, it's not the end of the world, people will get over it within a matter of seconds, no one cares if your young baby cries, it's what they do.

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    I'm not sure how old your DD is - but I will take my boys out DS1 is about to turn 4 and DS2 is 1 year old. I try to make sure I go to places that have a playground for the older one and I stock up on snacks for the younger one. I also don't make a big deal about DS1 finishing his dinner etc when we are out. I just let him enjoy himself and the night goes much better.

    I also take them out to breakfast completely on my own- this is MUCH easier and doesn't even require a playground as they are normally hungry and much better behaved in the morning. I even get to enjoy a coffee!

    As a PP said if someone offers to help and graciously accept - as I'm often the only single parent there. So they take turns with their hubby's to eat. But really they are pretty ok to manage.

    Toys tend to help with younger DS and I always make sure it's an early dinner

    Hope that helps??!

  9. #9
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    No not really ergo+boobs= happy baby, I love going out with just the baby at anytime of the day/night

  10. #10
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    I have never had issues whilst out when the boys were young, I just make sure I take lots of food, some toys. Both boys loved the pram which is great, ds2 will happily sit in for ages, prob due to all the long walks we go on. Most places we go to are child friendly with lots of other kids there so haven't found it too difficult at all. Also helps if your not a stresser yourself, just go with the flow and don't worry so much.


 

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