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  1. #1
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    Default Dp won't agree on dummy for bub

    My dd is 5 weeks old and demand breastfeeding, she gets over tired and wants to feed of me all the time, this would be ok but I have 3 other children. She wakes after 30 mins of being put down after huge feeds.
    She tries to suck her thumb which dp doesn't mind but she struggles with it and tonight poked herself really hard in the eye, and screamed in pain.
    Anyway dp refuses to see my point about it and really doesn't want dd to have a dummy... So im in my room with her dummy in to settle her without dp knowing... I feel really sneaky and know he'll find out. I know I should just tell him I feed her and I feel she is better with a dummy than a thumb


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    I'm sorry but I think your DP is being a little unreasonable. Is there a reason he doesn't want her having a dummy?

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    He says it because it looks horrible.. Grr


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    Hugs
    You should tell do if a dummy is 'not allowed' by them then it is up to them to do every, single resettle for however long it takes to not need resettling.

    Harsh? Yeah but you should have a say in this as well, especially if you're the one settling bubs

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    as someone with a 16 year old who still thumb sucks (altho he is better at hiding it and only does it while sleeping now) a dummy is way better than a thumb. you can take a dummy away but its kinda hard to remove a thumb. and as you are the one stuck being a dummy for bub then its more your need than a choice. and you can always use the dummy only for sleeps

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    Because it looks horrible? She's 5 weeks old!
    He's not the one with a baby attached to his boob 24/7 so if you feel that giving her a dummy from time to time will help comfort her, then you need to do what's right for you and bub.

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  10. #7
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    I'm afraid you get to pull rank on this one.
    'Looking horrible' is not enough of a reason for you to be waking and feeding every 1/2 hour.
    Unless he agrees to resettling her all night every night, his opinion on the dummy doesn't count for much.
    Use guilt-free and enjoy time to catch up on some rest.

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    Hi Bellieellie , My lil guy is also 5 weeks-ish old, born march 11. He is much the same ( a comfort sucker) we didn't want to do a dummy either but it's really hard not to when that's how they settle.

    Can you compromise, and try and keep it to being only a night time thing.. We try and keep it only as a night time and in the car thing. (in a perfect world). I'm not as worried about how it looks as the log term effects it can have on their mouth, so that's why I want to try and limit it.

    Bub is so young and with the other kiddies to care for you need sleep! I say, what ever it takes for you to get that sleep is what needs to happen. I have to agree I would be getting him to try and resettle just so he gets a clearer understanding of how hard it can be when you can't just feed. You can't really just keep feeding constantly in the long term.. Good luck!
    Last edited by Melzey; 15-04-2012 at 01:41.

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    It's easier to take away a dummy than a thumb! Your Dh is being unreasonable. And you should just use the dummy. He is not the one who has to be on hand 24/7 to feed your dd.
    I gave dd a dummy at 2 days old. It didnt confuse her. She breastfed beautifully! Some babies just like to suck constantly! Hope your Dh can accept your decision

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    Having a dummy is what a baby looks like. Simple as that. Put your foot down otherwise get dp to start re-settling - he'll soon back down


 

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