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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post

    Two areas I have put myself first is choosing to work part-time instead of being a full-time SAHM. We could afford me to stay home, but I just can't. I love my kids, but I need more interaction/stimulation than being at home 24/7 offers. I feel I am a better mum because of it..
    I am with you on this. I thought I'd love being a SAHP but after 8 weeks I was going mental so I went back for 8-10hrs a week.

    I also feel that as parents we need to have some semblance of who we are as people so we do go out to dinner/ functions etc and take DD along. Yes that stuffs her routine/rhythm up but she is part of our family and at some point we are all put out by another persons activity.

    And the most selfish thing I do to DD is wake her up on the dot of 6am every day regardless of her bedtime the night before. I'm a morning person and like to get the day going early. She catches up during her nap or has an earlier bedtime. This way mummy can work hard in the mornings and leave the rest of the day devoted to DD.

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    I hope it doesn't have a negative impact on her as an adult, but I don't have a crystal ball... so I really have no idea. I just do what I HOPE will work out for the best. There are times when I tell her to bugger off for a bit because she's annoying me... and I know that's kind of mean... but then at the same time, I think "Well, this is a lesson for her to learn too - that her mother is a human and doesn't have endless patience just because she's my child," and I'm kind of hoping that it's better for me to teach her this than to just endless devote every spare minute of day to her (as she'd no doubt love).

  3. #23
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    Yes, i worry. I don't think i'm a very good parent, i never get a break from my children so get frustrated all the time and i'm sure they pick up on this. I find i am giving into them more and more just to keep them quiet for 5 mins. My 2 year old is completely dependent on me and i think that's my fault as i had always held her constantly and rocked/layed own with her to get her to sleep (and still do) she can't sleep without me so i'm always tired - but it's easier than trying to get her to sleep alone. I worry she will never be able to sleep probably and that will be my fault.
    I worry even if i was a good parent they would grow up to hate me anyway - there are no guarantees.

  4. #24
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    No,despite what some on here may believe, everything I do iswith a purpose. I've been given a child with afew entwined disabilities and raise her alone. She has a team of specialists too, and my parenting has not been spoken of in a negative way, only positive.

    She will growup fine. We have a close bond and after talking with other kids in the street she thanked me for making sure she has lots of food and for talking to and playing with her instead of just yelling, smacking and ignoring her and giving her one piece of toast for breakfast. Even though I have smacked a few times and sometimes raise my voice, we are obviously getting by fine.

  5. #25
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    Quote Originally Posted by DiamondEyes View Post
    do you think the way you parent will one day have a negative impact on your child when they are an adult?

    Do you parent in a way that is more benificial for YOU than for your child? I.e makes your life easier, rather than theirs?
    Um I keep it in mind when I make parenting choices, of course I have my fails like everyone does and we forgive and move on. I tend to be a bit more child beneficial which doesn't always mean it works well for me at that moment but I still do it because I know if I don't I will regret it later. Over all my aim is to raise happy, well adjusted and healthy children so I will try to do whatever I can to achieve that.

    For example,sometimes I struggle to breastfeed but I refuse to use a substitute because I know I would regret it later, ideally I would have a 'village' which would mean i wouldn't be the only person feeding her but I don't so I just do it myself.


 

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