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  1. #21
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    Eko is offline Acrobatic Dominatrix.
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    So sorry to hear this I've just experienced a miscarriage myself and it's HARD. It doesn't just hurt, it's emotionally painful. I think my feelings hurt far more than my contractions.
    Anyway, I just wanted to say that there's people out there who know how you're feeling and are feeling it at exactly the same time. The main thing is to feel your feelings. Don't push them down or let other people tell you what you should feel or how you should deal with it.

    I had a big cry the day that I suspected we'd lost our bub. It was the best thing I could have done because it let me just get all the anger, the upset and the misery. That won't always work for everyone but it helped me a LOT.

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    missybubble  (12-04-2012)

  3. #22
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    I am so so sorry for your loss. We have recently had a missed misscarriage. I think of myself as 'lucky' as when I had spotting at 6 weeks I had bloods (which were good) then a scan locally, further scans then waited. I call myself 'lucky' as we had investigations and knew from a few weeks after that things weren't going to work out as we had hoped. Though it has been a very painful 6weeks I have at least been prepared.
    Knowing 'why' it would have occurred - most likely chromosomal abnormality didn't want me want it any less. I know it is common I just didn't realise how freaking hard it is emotionally. You also grieve all the possibilities. I was going to have an October baby etc.
    I don't think I have ever cried so much and it was the ugly cry too (sobbing, gasping, runny nose, puffy face). Good thing dH loves me . I felt so numb and so hopeful that maybe they were wrong and bubs was just 'super fit' as a Heartbeat of 67 is good in an adult right? And it was just 'petite' for its age, not measuring small..... The things you try to tell yourself.
    After waiting for a few weeks and another scan I had a misoprostal misscarriage last Tuesday as I didn't want a D &C and things weren't happening any time soon.
    I am going ok, still teary at times. Still struggling with the 'should have's'. Yesterday 'should have' been my NT scan. I almost cried at work today when someone said to me that 'you should have another baby' after I told her my son had just turned 4. No one knows about the misscarriage, I almost told her but why do I have to justify myself?

    The thing I find most unfair is I had morning sickness, well constant nausea even after we knew things weren't good. Thankfully this did settle but feeling sick for no cause is just torture.
    I don't know if you have heard of the 'baby blues' after you have had a baby but thankfully my friend had warned me that day 3 after her misscarriage/D&C she felt really low. At least I was prepared. I did feel sad and very witchy, however day 5 was my real low point. I spent most of the day in tears for 'no reason'. Expect to be all over the place emotionally. I still tear up easily now 10 days after the actual miss. Each day does get easier. I have now got past when my scan was supposed to be. The due date will be hard but I will be pregnant again by then.
    I hope some of what I have said has helped you if you want to chat feel free to send me a PM. I know how you feel.
    Be kind to yourself

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    missybubble  (12-04-2012)

  5. #23
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    This is an idea for you, and you too luey, celebrate the day bubs was due. I went out for coffee with a couple friends and we toasted baby in heaven. Made it feel very special and where ever baby is, I know he knows I haven't forgotten him

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    missybubble  (13-04-2012)

  7. #24
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    missybubble is offline I'm a strange one, but I'm good at it :)
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    I like the idea of celebrating the due date

    I am taking each day as it comes. Every person I saw in the hospital before I had the D&C told me they were sorry for my loss which of course made me cry each time. Then I was on Facebook and 2 people announced they were having October babies...I felt like I'd been punched in the stomach, that really got to me.

    Today (or rather yesterday as it's after 1am now) hasn't been too bad, I've actually been able to talk about it without crying. I cried so much the last couple of days that I have all this dry red skin around my nose from wiping it Who knows what I'll feel like tomorrow, or next week, I'll deal with that when the time comes. It's my 26th birthday on Sunday and all I keep thinking is "worst birthday present ever". Guess I will have a cry then too, oh well. Better to let it all out.

    I suffer from depression and had stopped taking my medication when I found out I was pregnant, as advised by my doctor. I don't really want to start taking it again in case I fall pregnant again, which as I've said we fully plan on.

    ETA: DP swears ours was a boy, always did, and that the next one will be a girl...
    Last edited by missybubble; 13-04-2012 at 01:25.

  8. #25
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    must be a common birthday present. I m/c on the 10th december last year, my birthday is the 11th december. i switched off my phone coz I wasn't prepared for "happy birthday".
    Where abouts do you live? I'm in WA, incase you are, maybe we can do something one day.

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  10. #26
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    missybubble is offline I'm a strange one, but I'm good at it :)
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    Yeah I'm thinking about turning off wall posts on Facebook so I don't have to see it, it's like, what's happy about it? I'm in Tassie, you can add me on FB if you like.

    Silly things are upsetting me today, and also other people's (strangers I mean) babies...I feel like they're rubbing it in my face that their baby turned out ok and mine didn't. I know full well that's not the case but it still hurts.

  11. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by missybubble View Post
    Silly things are upsetting me today, and also other people's (strangers I mean) babies...I feel like they're rubbing it in my face that their baby turned out ok and mine didn't. I know full well that's not the case but it still hurts.
    Not silly at all! All part of the process. I went through this as well. Felt like women were purposely flaunting their newborns at me and pregnant women were everywhere! They still are!! Turns out it wasn't all in my head though. Even my sister has commented about all the pregnant women she sees lately and she's definitely not TTC so it's not like it's on her mind.

    It's all a process so please know that what you are feeling is completely normal. You sound like you know that already though

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    missybubble  (13-04-2012)

  13. #28
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    inbox me your name or email addy so i can add you

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    missybubble  (14-04-2012)

  15. #29
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    Hi Missybubble,

    Firstly my deepest sympathy to you. I just had a D&C one day ago and am recovering well. It was my first pregnancy and I would have been 10 weeks this week. At my scan on the weekend we discovered the baby stopped growing at 7 weeks

    My hubby and I are staying strong and looking forward to starting again when my cycle returns to normal. Reading all the books we knew the stats when it came to 'viable' pregnancies - but of course we were very excited to know we were pregnant. A friend had recently had a miscarriage and now is pregnant and safely at 22 weeks. Her story and many in this thread give us hope.

    It's great to know it was our first try and we were able to fall pregnant at all.
    I hope you can feel a little better in the coming weeks. I am trying to stay strong and know that it is part of the journey to us getting our angel at some stage soon.

    I am trying to look at it as a false-start, a dress rehearsal and we just need to shift the goalposts a few months down a little. It's comforting to know my body was ending an non-viable pregnancy to make room for a healthy baby soon.

    All the best with your journey and i hope your procedure goes well. Stay calm and know your body is an amazing thing that will look after you.

    Best wishes xxx

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    Hugs to you BubsOnTheWay! xox


 

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