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    missybubble's Avatar
    missybubble is offline I'm a strange one, but I'm good at it :)
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    Default First m/c, questions

    Hi everyone, I think I had what's called a missed miscarriage. We had the 12 week scan today and turns out bub died at 7 weeks. Apart from the tiniest bit of blood a couple of days ago, I didn't have any signs of it. It was my first pregnancy ever so I didn't really know what to look for, and I thought, heaps of people bleed and are ok. I'll be having a D&C as soon as my mum can get hold of the doctor.

    Obviously we are devastated, and I hope it gets easier in time, but I feel like until I have a healthy baby I won't feel at peace with it. I have heard it's good to fall preg again straight away, is that true? And I don't want to stress out wondering if we'll even fall again. I know I'll be holding my breath for the first 12 weeks. After you've had one m/c do they send you for a scan as soon as you find out you're preg again? And just because I've had one doesn't mean I'm higher risk than normal or does it? I have a tendency to stress and suffer from depression & anxiety so anything to help me not stress would be good.

    Any advice would be much appreciated...all I want is to have a healthy bub.

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    I am so sorry that you have to experience such a loss :-(

    I have had 3 miscarriages but never a missed miscarriage so I am not sure that I can give you much advice about this type of miscarriage.

    With my last miscarriage the OB said that he would want to see me again as soon as I fall pregnant again so that he can do an ultrasound and other tests. I am not sure if this is standard procedure but I would imagine that an OB would be happy to see you early on to make sure all is okay.

    My OB said that we could start trying again the next cycle but I have heard of doctors suggesting that you wait three months. I suspect that this may be so that you can heal emotionally rather than physically but it would be best to talk to your doctor about it.

    At this stage try not to think too much about what might happen in the future. You need to take care of yourself now and take all the time that you need to heal emotionally.

    There is no reason to think that you will not have a healthy pregnancy in the future.

    Take care

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    Hi missybubble. Firstly, big hugs to you for your loss, life is sometimes just not fair.

    I had similar circumstances to yourself, found out at 12.5wk our babe had stopped growing at 8.5ish wks despite seeing a strong healthy hb at a dating scan. I had no spotting or other m/c symptoms at all, in fact had even spent the morning before our devastating scan with my head in the toilet, morning sickness was still with me in earnest and remained for another 2days (day of and day after our d&c which really sucked)

    I cant comment on falling preg straight away as we had difficulties conceiving that first time, then again after. It was only after extensive fertility testing & a simple treatment did we conceive and take home our DD last month.

    As for DD's pregnancy, my gp was fantastic and sent me for additional scans as requested to keep my mind at ease. In addition to the 12 & 20wk scans, I also had scans at 6, 9 & 17wks (had a chest infection at 17wks and was worried only for bub). Even though each scan showed a healthy bub continuing to grow, I still had a worry up to the day she was born something would go wrong (i would think this is normal to a degree, after all, there was no warning the 1st time, why should you get any the next??) Apart from terrible 24/7 ms until about the 4mth mark which I was medicated for, I had a wonderful pregnancy that I truly embraced and woke up thankful for each day.

    I was told your risk factor for the same happening again wouldn't increase any and that a subsequent pregnancy carries the same odds of ending in a loss.

    Hopefully that answers your questions (sorry if not, I'm on my phone) and feel free to ask any more. Take care of yourself during this tough time and hopefully you too will hold a precious baby in the near future xx

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    Your next preg wont have any higher chance of mc than this one did. In terms of scanning u immediately on the next one, prob not. They dont consider it a fertility concern til u have had at least three subsequent mc's. Its generally advised you wait til you have a period again to start trying again. Also remember you could pop positive on a preg test for up to eight wks after mc when u arent actually preg again but its just hormones left from this preg. Good luck n try not to stress! These things are VERY common!

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    Hi MissyBubble! Sorry hear another person that has to go through this. It really is so common.

    I had a missed m/c (scan couldn't even detect a fetus at 8 weeks) and had my D&C on Wednesday last week would have been 10wks. It was our first pregnancy too and yeah i feel pretty disappointed. I deal with it by looking at the positives which are: we got pregnant first go, the egg attached itself and wouldn't let go (even though nothing was developing) so that's a pretty good sign all is good down stairs and you can carry just fine, obviously there was a development issue. The way I look at that is blaming DH sperm lol. have got him menevit to improve his sperm quality and he is cutting back on the beer.

    I suffer for anxiety pretty bad and yeah it's been hard not to set off an attack cause I'm sitting on the edge of an emotional cliff, anything can push me off at the moment. Just thinking of the positives and looking forward to trying again.

    My doctor said to wait one cycle before trying again for your body to recover but my best friend had a miscarriage at 9wks and fell pregnant before her next cycle which turned out to be a perfectly healthy pregnancy.

    Good luck. I'm going through it too, all the waiting and questioning so please let me know if you ever need to vent :-)

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    Hi I'm so sorry you're going through this. Massive hugs.

    I had a missed m/c in 2009 we went for the nt scan only to discover that bubs had passed at 8 weeks. I had a d&c the next day. I had to have a 2nd one unfortunately 9 weeks later due to retained products of conception but then fell pregnant 2 cycles later with my now nearly 2 year old son.

    My gp was happy to give me extra scans with the next pregnancy to reassure me. I had one at 7 weeks and 9 weeks then the nt scan. It was a bit scary between then and the 20wk scan but I started feeling movements at 16 weeks so that was reassuring.

    Good luck and I hope it does not take you long to fall again xx

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    Quote Originally Posted by Babiesoneday View Post
    Good luck n try not to stress! These things are VERY common!
    No offence babiesoneday but saying this is common does not help. Never has and it never will. Not sure if you've ever experienced a miscarriage but I can tell you first hand that hearing it's common makes you want to smack whoever said it over the head. It's not helpful and it does not make you feel better.

    Missybubble I'm so so sorry for your loss

    There are no words that can help so please accept as many virtual hugs as you'd like to have.

    I was diagnosed with a missed miscarriage at just shy of 12 weeks. I had some minor bleeding but other than that. No other symptoms that I wasn't pregnant. I was still sick everyday. Because our angel had died at approx. 6-7 weeks and there was still no sign of miscarrying naturally, I opted for the D&C as I just wanted it to be over with.

    I completely understand what you're saying about needing to have a healthy baby to feel at peace with it all. I felt and still feel exactly the same. Until I have my baby in my arms I just won't feel at peace. It's normal to feel that way. I'll give you the facts I know about a D&C. It can take anywhere from 4-12 weeks to have AF return. I was extremely lucky where I ovulated 20 days after my D&C and exactly 14 days after ovulation, I got my first AF. You can fall pregnant before you even get your first AF but they say to wait one cycle as you may not have a thick and healthy enough uterine lining for implantation to take place. I suspect that is what happened to me as we DTD around ovulation and about 9dpo I started to get the twinges and fullness I got the first time I fell pregnant.

    You are your most fertile within the first 3 months after a D&C but again, that doesn't happen for everyone. You are not at any more risk than the next lady just because you've already had a miscarriage and what you need to remind yourself is that you fell pregnant once already so I'm certain you can do it again. Falling pregnant is half the battle and you've already conquered that part.

    Take the time you need to grieve and don't let anyone tell you how you should be feeling. It has been more than 4 weeks since my D&C and I still have really hard days. I broke down in the shopping centre on Easter Monday because of all the babies and pregnant women around me. Normally it doesn't effect me so much but it was one of those days that are harder than other days. You'll have those, but you will get through it and I have no doubt in my mind that you will be holding your newborn sooner than you think

    If you need anything, please feel free to pm me and I wish you all the healing and in the world.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FirstTimeMummy2012 View Post
    No offence babiesoneday but saying this is common does not help. Never has and it never will. Not sure if you've ever experienced a miscarriage but I can tell you first hand that hearing it's common makes you want to smack whoever said it over the head. It's not helpful and it does not make you feel better.

    Missybubble I'm so so sorry for your loss

    There are no words that can help so please accept as many virtual hugs as you'd like to have.

    I was diagnosed with a missed miscarriage at just shy of 12 weeks. I had some minor bleeding but other than that. No other symptoms that I wasn't pregnant. I was still sick everyday. Because our angel had died at approx. 6-7 weeks and there was still no sign of miscarrying naturally, I opted for the D&C as I just wanted it to be over with.

    I completely understand what you're saying about needing to have a healthy baby to feel at peace with it all. I felt and still feel exactly the same. Until I have my baby in my arms I just won't feel at peace. It's normal to feel that way. I'll give you the facts I know about a D&C. It can take anywhere from 4-12 weeks to have AF return. I was extremely lucky where I ovulated 20 days after my D&C and exactly 14 days after ovulation, I got my first AF. You can fall pregnant before you even get your first AF but they say to wait one cycle as you may not have a thick and healthy enough uterine lining for implantation to take place. I suspect that is what happened to me as we DTD around ovulation and about 9dpo I started to get the twinges and fullness I got the first time I fell pregnant.

    You are your most fertile within the first 3 months after a D&C but again, that doesn't happen for everyone. You are not at any more risk than the next lady just because you've already had a miscarriage and what you need to remind yourself is that you fell pregnant once already so I'm certain you can do it again. Falling pregnant is half the battle and you've already conquered that part.

    Take the time you need to grieve and don't let anyone tell you how you should be feeling. It has been more than 4 weeks since my D&C and I still have really hard days. I broke down in the shopping centre on Easter Monday because of all the babies and pregnant women around me. Normally it doesn't effect me so much but it was one of those days that are harder than other days. You'll have those, but you will get through it and I have no doubt in my mind that you will be holding your newborn sooner than you think

    If you need anything, please feel free to pm me and I wish you all the healing and in the world.
    Yes ma'am- three miscarriages and a stillbirth. Thanks. Miscarriage is common. Some women like to know they arent the only ones and that nothing is wrong with them. "no offense", but starting a statement with "no offense" and then.insulting someone is still.offensive.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Babiesoneday View Post
    Yes ma'am- three miscarriages and a stillbirth. Thanks. Miscarriage is common. Some women like to know they arent the only ones and that nothing is wrong with them. "no offense", but starting a statement with "no offense" and then.insulting someone is still.offensive.
    I'm sorry for all of your losses

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    I'm so sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage with my 1st pregnancy & it was devestating. I miscarried naturally & it took 3 months to fall pregnant again. I then went on to have 2 beautiful healthy children. Last week i suffered a missed miscarriage at 15weeks the baby had died at 14 weeks. I had a d&c. The doctor said to wait for one period before trying again. I have also heard that you are fertile in the few months following a d&c i'm not sure if its true or not. Sending big hugs to you it is such a heartbreaking experience i hope you have lots of support irl. Xxx

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